Ripping Open a Raw Wound
Two years ago this June, our friend Sheree passed away at the age of 29 after a year long battle with a terrible cancer. After getting a devastating phone call from her husband telling us she had only days left, we packed our car and kids and headed out on a 3.5 hour drive to do whatever we could to help. The day we arrived, I spent the entire day in the kitchen. I made whatever I could think of to make and had stacks of disposable food containers full of meals by the end of the day. My plan was to finish cooking and then go see her at the hospital one last time to say goodbye.
I never got my chance.
During the afternoon, we got the call from her husband that Sheree was gone. We extended our trip and stayed through three days of viewings and the funeral. We watched her two young children while her husband spent night after night at the funeral home. It was a gut-wrenching week and I won't soon forget it.
Lisa and her battle with cancer is ripping open all of these wounds once again. I met Lisa online for the first time. We were both bloggers for our local newspaper's online website. She left me a comment or two and I returned the favor. The hometown crowd could be brutal to the newspaper's bloggers so I found a supporter in her and she found one in me. When I read what her blog was about, her on-going battle with cancer, it made me heartsick. Like me, she had two young daughters too.
Last year, I met Lisa at Tequila Con 2008 in Philly. She was actually one of the very first bloggers I met in person and she lit up the room. Everyone there knew that she was battling cancer (for the 3rd time), yet you never would have known it. Lisa and her husband were an absolute joy to talk to, and I wish I would have had more time to talk to her as the night went on. As you can imagine though, Lisa was a popular girl that night. That's Lisa with the glasses.
After TC '08 we exchanged some emails. I offered my husband's services since he works in clinical research. I sent her an email full of medical studies that I thought might be of interest. I couldn't bear to watch another young mother die. I tried to think of anything I could that might help.
When she wrote about pain, I emailed her about some natural things I had heard about. I prayed nightly for a miracle-still do.
I have cautiously popped over to her blog during the past few months. A few months ago, Lisa decided it was time to accept what was happening and she entered at home hospice care. It was amazing how she expressed herself and accepted something that made me so upset and angry. It's simply not fair and it makes me mad at the world, what's happening to her and to her family.
Today, I read an update from Karl on her blog, and like I usually do when I read her blog, I cried, because it is happening again. My heart is breaking for Lisa and her family right now. I absolutely hate when my prayers aren't answered. I have tried to make myself feel better about Lisa and about Sheree by thinking that heaven must need some great moms up there. That this is why it's now her time.
Like with Sheree, I have done a heck of a lot of cooking today and am driving out to her house tomorrow. I don't expect to be able to say goodbye to her tomorrow. I imagine that she's not really feeling up to having visitors. I just hope that I can make things a bit easier on her and her family in some small way. If any of you are local and would like to make a freezer friendly meal, please shoot me an email. I'd be happy to take yours as well.
Family Plagues and Tissue Lint
You can tell when this family has been through a plague. Tissues follow Lil C around like a dusty dirt cloud that just won't quit. Medicine cups are constantly being ground up in the garbage disposal. My personal favorite? I've been washing and drying a lot of tissues lately. Tissue lint is always good for making a fashion statement.
Yesterday I went to campus and when I began talking to my class, they looked at me strangely. "I know," I told them, "from now until the foreseeable future you're just going to have to deal with the fact that your teacher now has a man voice." I seriously could pass for Barry White right about now. It's not a comparison I ever hoped for.
I've been on a healthy cycle of Nyquil at night followed by coffee to help it wear off in the morning. Also, inhaling said coffee steam to help with the congestion. While Mr. BBM and Big I have moved on from the sickness, Lil C and I have the head and chest cold that just won't quit. We're sick of canceling playdates, but we know it's not polite to share our germs. I wanted to be back in the dojo by now. It's going to have to wait until I can breathe a little better.
Every year, within a few weeks of my birthday, I start getting sick. By the time I'm better, my allergies have kicked it into high gear and I'm miserable until June and beyond. My Mom is an RN and works at an Allergy/Asthma office. She's been pesting me to get tested for years. Getting tested though, involves needles, lots and lots of needles, and the one time I made the appointment, I chickened out and canceled.
This year though, I think I'm just going to have to go through with it. My clothes can't take being covered in tissues anymore. I'd like to be able to breathe through my nose before June.
Head over to The BBM Review before Monday. Leave a comment and get entered to win one of three gift bags from Yo-Plus! Head there now for details. Check back because we have another giveaway coming soon.
Stimulate This
The entire BBM family is oozing germs in some way shape or form this weekend. My head hurts every time I look or bend down; and my spine feels like it has been a heavy bag for Ikigai or something. Mr. BBM broke out with the flu this week too and is currently sporting a straight up in the air hair-do. Giving a hoot about how we look isn't at the top of the priority list right now.
Getting more ibuprofen. That's #1. Not letting our kids, who now have coughs and runny noses, breathe on us is priority #2.
Instead of being at my father-in-law's wedding today, we're at home, sporting pj's and sweatpants. I've spent a lot of time in bed over the past few days. I even had to cancel my class on Thursday morning because there was no way I could make it to campus. I felt like a Gremlin as in "Bright lights, bright lights!" Yes, that's pretty much what I look like right now.
My head was rocking the entire week pretty much. While in bed, I've watched a lot of cooking shows and a lot of political shows.
It could be due to the flu, but I'm particularly grumpy about this so called "stimulus" bill that is about to be passed.
Bankrupting future generations. . . check.
Stimulating our economy? I find it hard to believe given some of the nonsense in the over 1000 pages of political garble.
While the politicians certainly think they know best, I have news for them. Flu-inflicted citizens can come up with better ways to stimulate the economy. Here are just two of mine. . .
1. Instead of taking approximately 45% of my income that I make as an independent contractor/recruiter which gives me little to no incentive to want to work when I get my check and have to turn around and send almost half of it to the government, why not slash how much the government is taking from me by a good 20%? With that 20% that is back in my bank account I can afford to hire someone to build me a patio this spring, landscape my barren new yard, or finish off my basement. All of those things would stimulate the economy. I hire someone, they hire helpers, and buy supplies from a company to create my housing projects. . . see how this works? Instead, my 45% will be going for things like studying honey bees and STD awareness. Stimulating things, these are not. The $13/week tax cut for families written into this bill isn't exactly going to help me build that patio.
(Let me preface #2 by saying that I understand that these are tough financial times. I understand that there are people who legitimately need help and through no fault of their own are in economic ruins right now. #2 is not about these people.)
2. How about rewarding citizens who pay their mortgages and bills on time instead of bailing out those who don't? What incentive is there to pay your bills on time when the government now plans on lowering the rates of those who can't pay the mortgages on the houses they couldn't afford in the first place? I'd like my rate lowered too. Maybe I'll just stop paying my mortgage for a couple months. . . oh wait, see there are these things called self-responsibility and pride. I take those two things to heart. But seriously, why are we rewarding those who got themselves into financial trouble? AND, if we want to help them out, great, but maybe there should be some incentives for those of us who always follow the rules, pay our bills, etc. It's simply not fair. This isn't Robin Hood, you know. My hard earned money shouldn't be going to support those who got themselves in over their heads. I should be able to keep my money, and then maybe I could hire someone whose business is hurting. See #1. See how this works? Also, there are plenty of people who are not financially hurting right now who choose to help others, either through donations to charities, donations to soup kitchens, or volunteering with Habitat for Humanity or other organizations who help others. Private citizens should be able to decide who to help and choose where their money goes within local communities. How is Washington able to determine how best to use money in my hometown? Do you trust your Governor to distribute a blank check however he/she pleases? I don't trust mine. Something tells me a certain governor will have a new car and chauffeur, minimum, before too long.
There are other ideas too. The school district where I live has some of the lowest school taxes around. Why? Because they don't raise taxes every time they need to expand or hire more teachers. Instead, they decided to seek private money in the form of sponsorships for football stadiums and gymnasiums, etc. They thought outside of the box and made it work with no government intervention. If every school did this, can you imagine how much less we'd all be paying in school taxes? Can you imagine what you'd do with that extra money? I know what I'd do with mine.
Patio.
Landscaping.
Finished basement.
Oh, and a much-wanted-by-the-girls Disney vacation.
All of these things stimulate the economy. And that's just one family! Multiply that by all the families across the country and it's at least food for thought.
Then again, getting the politicians to read these ideas would probably be even more difficult than getting them to read that 1000+ page stimulus bill (which you can't tell me any of them did before voting on it). This non-reading of the single biggest spending bill ever in history absolutely blows my mind and should disturb everyone no matter what your political affiliation. It is completely irresponsible. Don't believe me about the non-reading, watch this. . .
(If you can't see this, go here to view.)
GRR. . . My head hurts.
I know these are hot polticial times, but unless you want me to breathe my hot miserable flu on you, keep your comments respectful. Have flu, not afraid to use it. Got it? Good.
Sick, More Sick, and Impromptu Weddings
There's nothing like a coming back from a great weekend to enter a week full of sick. Lil C spent the weekend with a fever. Monday brought a visit to the doctor for an ear infection that just won't quit. After a week of antibiotics, her ears look the same, possibly worse. So, now she's on another antibiotic, a stronger one that combines two antibiotics into one.
As the PA was writing out the prescription, she said to herself, but loud enough for me to hear, "I'm not going to worry yet."
I don't like the "yet" part of that at all.
I thought I'd only be taking Lil C to the doctor, but Big I woke up Monday morning looking like death. She was sporting a fever of over 102 and it got worse throughout the day. A strep test came back negative, so they've decided she most definitely has the flu. They warned me that this flu is especially awful, terribly contagious, and that it's taking a good 5-7 days to run its course.
Last night, before bed, her fever spiked to 104.9 so I spent the early hours of the evening piggy-backing ibuprofen and Tylenol to keep it at a more reasonable 102.5. She woke up with a fever of 103.2 and is feeling dizzy and miserable.
I woke up this morning with a scratchy throat and chills. I was determined to make it to campus but I spent much of the class teaching from a seated position on a table in the front of the room. I felt shaky and dizzy and just yuck. Thank goodness I had planned to show them two videos of speeches today.
Upon arriving home today, I was told that my father-in-law and his fiance are getting married this weekend. That's right, this weekend. The wedding is about five hours away. My mother-in-law gave us only a couple days notice (two actually, I think) and we were unable to make it out for hers. It took me 11 months to plan my wedding. How this stuff happens so quickly just blows my mind, my very sore headachy mind. For now though, I just need to worry about getting through each day, one day at a time. I'll worry about how to get my sick family out to a surprise wedding once we feel better.
Sour Grapes and Epi Pens
Filed under: Back in the Classroom, Mental Strain for Mama
Today I arrived on campus and actually had mail in my mailbox. My evaluations from last semester finally arrived. I wasn't sure if I should look at them before class or save them for after. I'm the girl who lets one negative comment bother her for all eternity. I decided to wait until after.
My students did their first speeches today and I was impressed. We have some things to work on but overall, I think I have a good group of students who are oozing with creativity. I think this semester, like last one, will be enjoyable.
After class, one of my students who only showed up today for the first time, approached me in order to get everything she needed and get caught up. First, though, she had some information for me about her medical condition(s).
She began by telling me she has severe asthma. I thought this was leading up to, "sometimes I'll need to leave the room to use my inhaler" or something, but before I knew it she was pulling out an epi pen and giving me directions on how to use it and a directive to call 911 if I need to use the pen on her.
You should know that my Mom is a type 1 diabetic and for years gave herself several shots of insulin daily. I could never watch. If I happened to see it, I'd usually end up with my head between my knees, trying not to pass out.
During the summer before I was heading off to college, I had to get a hepatitis vaccine at the pediatricians office and ended up passing out as my Mom paid for it. I woke up with a heap of animal crackers all over me (the billing lady thought it would be cute and funny to give me a little treat in the form of a cup of animal crackers), and a bunch of toddlers standing over my head staring at me with curiosity.
My student continued to tell me to just "jam the epi pen into her thigh" and "try to keep the classroom calm." I started wondering how I would keep the classroom calm when I would probably be freaking out myself.
Then she told me she sometimes has seizures and that if she has one, I'll need to call 911 and dig through her purse to find her glucose monitor to test her blood. I'll also need to make sure she doesn't "hurt herself." I've tested my own blood plenty of times. I was a gestational diabetic for many months of my pregnancy with Lil C, but testing someone else's blood?
"Are you diabetic?" I asked her.
"They're not sure yet," she said.
I questioned her more about what I'm supposed to do and when, and she told me that she sometimes just coughs a little and the next thing you know, she needs an epi pen injection.
I should note that none of this explanation came with a doctors excuse or written directions. She also told me she may frequently miss class and assignments and that she's "always behind."
We moved on to my portion of the talking where I told her what she needs to do to get caught up. She started to cough a bit and I quickly wrapped up our conversation. I'm an adjunct instructor, not a medic; and I am obviously not prepared or equipped to handle these types of things, especially not without some written instructions.
Delivering lesson plans with enthusiasm and creativity. . . check.
Handing assignments back in a timely matter. . . check.
Teaching students responsibility. . . check.
Helping my students become better speakers. . . check.
Administering emergency medical care in the middle of class and keeping my class calm as the ambulance arrives. . . not so much!
We finished our conversation with me telling her I need a written flow chart, if you will, of what I'm supposed to do and when. I'm really hoping I never need to use it. One encouraging thing is that I do have an army medic in my classroom. He hasn't missed a class yet, and I plan to rely on him heavily if something does happen. I'm going to have a hard time using an epi pen on my student while I have my head between my knees as I try not to hyperventilate.
When I got home, my mind needed a break from all the terrible scenarios I was envisioning in the weeks to come so I broke out the evaluations and had a quick read. I had really favorable reviews, and great comments throughout.
"She is very lively and grabs your attention." Cool.
"She is a great teacher and I really enjoyed her class." Fantastic.
"She always had a creative way of demonstrating new things." Why yes I did. Thank you!
"Thank you. I learned a lot." You're very welcome!
"The whole class was good. It really taught me how to write better." Sweet.
"Mrs. BBM was an awesome teacher." Great, glad you think so!
"Mrs. BBM made us think and made the course fun." Really cool.
"Mrs. BBM was always available for extra help. She always had helpful comments for you if you were struggling. She explained everything nicely so you weren't confused." I tried.
"This class was awesome!" Yeah! Thank you!
"She is a caring teacher." Aww.
"I learned a lot and had fun at the same time." Good! That was the goal!
And then one person gave me a "disagree" for being "available for questions and additional assistance." That, my friends, is all I can think about. I've been going over and over again my students and those who asked me for help. I can't think of a time I didn't make myself available. I can't think of a time I didn't offer to come to campus on days I didn't even teach! I know it's probably just someone with sour grapes about something, but it's one sour grape that sticks in my head.
That and the epi pen.
Copyright
© Copyright 2006-2019 blackbeltmama dot com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Follow Me
Blog Designed By
My Creations
Things You Could Care Less About
