February 3, 2009

Sour Grapes and Epi Pens

Today I arrived on campus and actually had mail in my mailbox. My evaluations from last semester finally arrived. I wasn't sure if I should look at them before class or save them for after. I'm the girl who lets one negative comment bother her for all eternity. I decided to wait until after.

My students did their first speeches today and I was impressed. We have some things to work on but overall, I think I have a good group of students who are oozing with creativity. I think this semester, like last one, will be enjoyable.

After class, one of my students who only showed up today for the first time, approached me in order to get everything she needed and get caught up. First, though, she had some information for me about her medical condition(s).

She began by telling me she has severe asthma. I thought this was leading up to, "sometimes I'll need to leave the room to use my inhaler" or something, but before I knew it she was pulling out an epi pen and giving me directions on how to use it and a directive to call 911 if I need to use the pen on her.

You should know that my Mom is a type 1 diabetic and for years gave herself several shots of insulin daily. I could never watch. If I happened to see it, I'd usually end up with my head between my knees, trying not to pass out.

During the summer before I was heading off to college, I had to get a hepatitis vaccine at the pediatricians office and ended up passing out as my Mom paid for it. I woke up with a heap of animal crackers all over me (the billing lady thought it would be cute and funny to give me a little treat in the form of a cup of animal crackers), and a bunch of toddlers standing over my head staring at me with curiosity.

My student continued to tell me to just "jam the epi pen into her thigh" and "try to keep the classroom calm." I started wondering how I would keep the classroom calm when I would probably be freaking out myself.

Then she told me she sometimes has seizures and that if she has one, I'll need to call 911 and dig through her purse to find her glucose monitor to test her blood. I'll also need to make sure she doesn't "hurt herself." I've tested my own blood plenty of times. I was a gestational diabetic for many months of my pregnancy with Lil C, but testing someone else's blood?

"Are you diabetic?" I asked her.

"They're not sure yet," she said.

I questioned her more about what I'm supposed to do and when, and she told me that she sometimes just coughs a little and the next thing you know, she needs an epi pen injection.

I should note that none of this explanation came with a doctors excuse or written directions. She also told me she may frequently miss class and assignments and that she's "always behind."

We moved on to my portion of the talking where I told her what she needs to do to get caught up. She started to cough a bit and I quickly wrapped up our conversation. I'm an adjunct instructor, not a medic; and I am obviously not prepared or equipped to handle these types of things, especially not without some written instructions.

Delivering lesson plans with enthusiasm and creativity. . . check.
Handing assignments back in a timely matter. . . check.
Teaching students responsibility. . . check.
Helping my students become better speakers. . . check.
Administering emergency medical care in the middle of class and keeping my class calm as the ambulance arrives. . . not so much!

We finished our conversation with me telling her I need a written flow chart, if you will, of what I'm supposed to do and when. I'm really hoping I never need to use it. One encouraging thing is that I do have an army medic in my classroom. He hasn't missed a class yet, and I plan to rely on him heavily if something does happen. I'm going to have a hard time using an epi pen on my student while I have my head between my knees as I try not to hyperventilate.

When I got home, my mind needed a break from all the terrible scenarios I was envisioning in the weeks to come so I broke out the evaluations and had a quick read. I had really favorable reviews, and great comments throughout.

"She is very lively and grabs your attention." Cool.
"She is a great teacher and I really enjoyed her class." Fantastic.
"She always had a creative way of demonstrating new things." Why yes I did. Thank you!
"Thank you. I learned a lot." You're very welcome!
"The whole class was good. It really taught me how to write better." Sweet.
"Mrs. BBM was an awesome teacher." Great, glad you think so!
"Mrs. BBM made us think and made the course fun." Really cool.
"Mrs. BBM was always available for extra help. She always had helpful comments for you if you were struggling. She explained everything nicely so you weren't confused." I tried.
"This class was awesome!" Yeah! Thank you!
"She is a caring teacher." Aww.
"I learned a lot and had fun at the same time." Good! That was the goal!

And then one person gave me a "disagree" for being "available for questions and additional assistance." That, my friends, is all I can think about. I've been going over and over again my students and those who asked me for help. I can't think of a time I didn't make myself available. I can't think of a time I didn't offer to come to campus on days I didn't even teach! I know it's probably just someone with sour grapes about something, but it's one sour grape that sticks in my head.

That and the epi pen.