Time for a Clone
One of my favorite classes last semester was the one where I paired students up, gave them random silly topics and told them to let their imaginations run wild as they rushed to create and present compelling introductions and conclusions for their assigned speech topics.
Last semester, my favorite group told the class that crop circles were not formed by aliens. They were formed every time Chuck Norris sneezed. It was hysterical. The entire class cracked up and it's a moment I don't think any of us will soon forget.
Today we had a few more of those moments. I had this feeling at the beginning of the semester that I was going to like these kids, but I didn't know if they could live up to how much fun my group was from the first semester. They proved me wrong today.
One group discussed tsunamis and a student told a "true" story about surfing a wave that landed him on top of a skyscraper. Another group impersonated a sleazy furniture salesperson. A third group told us the movie "Signs" was real and that we should all go home and create "booby traps."
I have to say though, the best one of the day was about cloning. The clincher at the end of the speech. . . "If you're feeling alone, it's time for a clone."
Classic good classroom stuff.
From the way the class responded, something tells me this student will be known from here on out by that very unique quote. There is absolutely no better feeling than when you take an important lesson, make it fun, and it's a smashing success.
Wait until they see what I have planned for them Thursday. . .
Sour Grapes and Epi Pens
Filed under: Back in the Classroom, Mental Strain for Mama
Today I arrived on campus and actually had mail in my mailbox. My evaluations from last semester finally arrived. I wasn't sure if I should look at them before class or save them for after. I'm the girl who lets one negative comment bother her for all eternity. I decided to wait until after.
My students did their first speeches today and I was impressed. We have some things to work on but overall, I think I have a good group of students who are oozing with creativity. I think this semester, like last one, will be enjoyable.
After class, one of my students who only showed up today for the first time, approached me in order to get everything she needed and get caught up. First, though, she had some information for me about her medical condition(s).
She began by telling me she has severe asthma. I thought this was leading up to, "sometimes I'll need to leave the room to use my inhaler" or something, but before I knew it she was pulling out an epi pen and giving me directions on how to use it and a directive to call 911 if I need to use the pen on her.
You should know that my Mom is a type 1 diabetic and for years gave herself several shots of insulin daily. I could never watch. If I happened to see it, I'd usually end up with my head between my knees, trying not to pass out.
During the summer before I was heading off to college, I had to get a hepatitis vaccine at the pediatricians office and ended up passing out as my Mom paid for it. I woke up with a heap of animal crackers all over me (the billing lady thought it would be cute and funny to give me a little treat in the form of a cup of animal crackers), and a bunch of toddlers standing over my head staring at me with curiosity.
My student continued to tell me to just "jam the epi pen into her thigh" and "try to keep the classroom calm." I started wondering how I would keep the classroom calm when I would probably be freaking out myself.
Then she told me she sometimes has seizures and that if she has one, I'll need to call 911 and dig through her purse to find her glucose monitor to test her blood. I'll also need to make sure she doesn't "hurt herself." I've tested my own blood plenty of times. I was a gestational diabetic for many months of my pregnancy with Lil C, but testing someone else's blood?
"Are you diabetic?" I asked her.
"They're not sure yet," she said.
I questioned her more about what I'm supposed to do and when, and she told me that she sometimes just coughs a little and the next thing you know, she needs an epi pen injection.
I should note that none of this explanation came with a doctors excuse or written directions. She also told me she may frequently miss class and assignments and that she's "always behind."
We moved on to my portion of the talking where I told her what she needs to do to get caught up. She started to cough a bit and I quickly wrapped up our conversation. I'm an adjunct instructor, not a medic; and I am obviously not prepared or equipped to handle these types of things, especially not without some written instructions.
Delivering lesson plans with enthusiasm and creativity. . . check.
Handing assignments back in a timely matter. . . check.
Teaching students responsibility. . . check.
Helping my students become better speakers. . . check.
Administering emergency medical care in the middle of class and keeping my class calm as the ambulance arrives. . . not so much!
We finished our conversation with me telling her I need a written flow chart, if you will, of what I'm supposed to do and when. I'm really hoping I never need to use it. One encouraging thing is that I do have an army medic in my classroom. He hasn't missed a class yet, and I plan to rely on him heavily if something does happen. I'm going to have a hard time using an epi pen on my student while I have my head between my knees as I try not to hyperventilate.
When I got home, my mind needed a break from all the terrible scenarios I was envisioning in the weeks to come so I broke out the evaluations and had a quick read. I had really favorable reviews, and great comments throughout.
"She is very lively and grabs your attention." Cool.
"She is a great teacher and I really enjoyed her class." Fantastic.
"She always had a creative way of demonstrating new things." Why yes I did. Thank you!
"Thank you. I learned a lot." You're very welcome!
"The whole class was good. It really taught me how to write better." Sweet.
"Mrs. BBM was an awesome teacher." Great, glad you think so!
"Mrs. BBM made us think and made the course fun." Really cool.
"Mrs. BBM was always available for extra help. She always had helpful comments for you if you were struggling. She explained everything nicely so you weren't confused." I tried.
"This class was awesome!" Yeah! Thank you!
"She is a caring teacher." Aww.
"I learned a lot and had fun at the same time." Good! That was the goal!
And then one person gave me a "disagree" for being "available for questions and additional assistance." That, my friends, is all I can think about. I've been going over and over again my students and those who asked me for help. I can't think of a time I didn't make myself available. I can't think of a time I didn't offer to come to campus on days I didn't even teach! I know it's probably just someone with sour grapes about something, but it's one sour grape that sticks in my head.
That and the epi pen.
Ants in Your Pants and Jumping Jacks
I arrived at my classroom this morning and told my students to put away everything except for a pen. I told them we were having a quiz and that they had 10 minutes to complete it. I told them "do your best" and passed them out.
This was the quiz:
Getting to Know You Quiz
Directions: Read the entire quiz first. Follow the directions given. You have 10 minutes to complete this quiz.
- Write your age _____.
- Write your shoe size __________.
- Write the name of the President of the US _____________.
- Call the name of a friend in class, wave to them, and say hello.
- Stand up and shake someone's hand.
- Get two others to tell you their favorite color. Write the colors here:
- Walk to the front of the room and touch the board.
- Stand up and pretend you have ants in your pants
- Put your head on the desk and take a 10 second nap. Great job! You're almost half way there!
- Give a high five to two people you haven't talked to yet.
- Say your middle name out loud.
- Add 237, 4992, and 531. Answer: ______
- After you write the answer to #12, say "Yes! I'm so smart!"
- Sit down and stand up 10 times as fast as you can. Record your time here:
- Print the name of the planet you live on:
- Write the name of your favorite food here:
- Say "yummy, yummy in my tummy" out loud.
- Look at the person beside you and tell them something nice.
- Stand up and do 10 jumping jacks. Encourage others to join you.
- Don't follow any of these instructions. Just watch everyone else make a fool out of themselves and sit quietly until time is up.
Would you like to guess how many people had ants in their pants? Would you like to guess how many people yelled out, "Yes I'm so smart"? Oh people, if I had only been able to videotape it without them knowing something was up, I would have because it was quite amusing.
I figured I would start getting questions early in the quiz, but I was wrong. You wouldn't believe how many of my students eagerly went about each task, without a thought as to why I would have them do such a thing.
The first question I had was from one of the many students returning to their seat after touching the the board. His question was, "How am I supposed to do 'ants in my pants'?" I responded with, "Well, if you had bugs in your pants, it would probably be itchy." He nodded and wiggled his butt back to his seat. One of my freshman girls who read the entire quiz first, as instructed, had to hold her mouth shut while she shook and tried not to laugh out loud.
My next question came at question 15. "Do you want a serious answer to number 15?" he asked. "Be as serious as you need to be," I responded with a straight face.
Five of my students got it right from the beginning and found it quite amusing that there were students high-fiving them, calling their names out loud and asking them their favorite colors. I should note here that I told Mr. BBM this morning that I would have four follow directions and I had chosen my four well. The fifth one was an oversight on my part. I should have known. The ones who followed the instructions kept straight faces, all except for the girl who could barely hold it in, and one boy who sat in the back row grinning from ear to ear as he watched his classmates wiggle, high-five, and do jumping jacks.
I figured it was going to go one of two ways. They, those that were busy making fools of themselves, were either going to get mad or they would take it in a light-hearted way. Either way, they received the message loud and clear. Follow DIRECTIONS already!!!
About half of the kids stopped about half way through; yelling out their middle names was a bit much for some of them and they caught on. Others plugged through without a care in the world. Two who made it all the way through cracked up laughing at themselves as they finished. One kid laughed so hard he snorted.
I asked them if they were finished, grinned mischievously and explained why we had done this little exercise. This silly quiz drove the point home loud and clear.
After class, I had several students stay to ask for some help and make sure they were on the right track. I'm not saying I won't get another late assignment. The three kids who blew off class today obviously have missed this important lesson. But I like to think that me and the 17 who were there today, now have a mutual understanding. I want them to learn, and I want them to have fun while doing so, but I'm no push-over and I won't tolerate late assignments.
By the end of class today, I think it was pretty clear that at least those in attendance have been brought to my side. It's a good feeling. We'll see if I can make it last.
How would you have done on my silly quiz? Be honest!
Laying Down the Law
This semester, I spent an entire class talking about how to create a good speech outline. Last semester, I figured I was dealing with college kids. Point them to the page in the book and give them a handout and they should be good to go.
I was very wrong.
So, I spent a ton of class time on it this time around. I gave them a handout. For the other assignment due today, I did the same thing. I specifically said last week,
"This is what I want. . . "
"This is what I DON'T want. . . "
I said it at least three times. I told them to consult their syllabus. I told them to email me with any questions or concerns.
Ugh.
Today, I collected the papers and outlines of people who clearly do not follow directions well. In addition, the girl who missed my class on Thursday, the one who emailed me, the one I told exactly what we did in class, and what she needed to do for today, came empty-handed.
"I didn't know those things were due today," she said.
I couldn't help myself. She was the third person to tell me this in the span of five minutes. I threw my head back, let out an audible groan, and pulled out the syllabus. "See this thing! It's right here in bold. I also talked about it last Tuesday AND Thursday. In addition, you got an email!!!"
She shrugged and sat down. I hate this part of the semester, where you have to let the kids know that your policies are your policies and that's that. You have to let them know you're no push-over. There are going to be some seriously unhappy campers on Thursday when they see they have half credit for handing in a late assignment. It's on the syllabus and I talked about it in class. They're going to have to deal.
I also had three students not show up today. One has never showed up, despite adding my class last Wednesday. Those three are off to a fantastic start. I can always tell within the first two weeks who's going to step up and go for the A and those who are going to flat out fail.
So frustrating, but Thursday is definitely looking like "lay down the law" day.
Affirmation
Today was the second class of the new semester. Everyone showed up, including a new add, minus the girl who emailed to tell me she spent last night in the ER after she split her finger open when a window slammed on it. She's off to a good start, huh?
The beginning of the semester is kind of like a first date. You think you like this person and all, but you need to figure them out. What makes them tick, what sets them off, what kind of person are they really?
Things went smoothly enough. I had some decent participation and some good questions. For the most part, the students seem eager to please. We'll see what their first assignments bring next week.
As I was dismissing my class and the students were leaving the room, I heard a familiar voice from out in the hallway.
"Oh man, look, it's Mrs. B! Hey Mrs. B, how are you?"
I glanced at the door as I erased the white board, but I didn't see anyone. I laughed a bit and yelled back, "Who's out there?"
A friendly voice called back, "It's your favorite student!"
I recognized the voice. "Oh, then it must be Kevin!" I yelled back.
"Oh man, did you hear that? I said, 'favorite student' and she totally knew it was me'" I heard him telling his friends. I was cracking up as I finished erasing the board.
Soon he appeared in my doorway as the last of my students were exiting the room.
"How you doing Mrs. B? I miss this class. I miss you. This was the BEST class EVER!" he said. "You new students better treat you right!" he said giving them some warning looks. "I tell everyone I know to take this class. You're the best Mrs. B. I wish I could take this class again."
I couldn't help but smile. Not only had he said these nice things. He said them in front of my new crew of students. I don't think I'll really need to see the student evaluations when they come back. That was pretty much all I needed to know.
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