January 7, 2008

Mommy is “Unavailable”

Because I spent an insane wealth of my life falling asleep on Big I’s floor when she was a toddler while waiting for her to drift off to dreamland, Lil C’s bedtime has been Mr. BBM’s special assignment. Bedtime is my time to write, work, read, eat without having to share, and catch up on my recorded TV shows. (It used to be my kata time, but we’re not going to talk about that now because I’ll cry or something and the whole post will be ruined.)

Lil C will frequently cry when it’s bedtime and ask for me. If Mr. BBM says I’m downstairs, Lil C tries to go downstairs. If he tells her I’m in bed, she says, "Lay wif Mommy." If he tells her I’m "busy," she doesn’t buy it and yells for me louder, "TELL MOMMEEEE. TELL MOMMEEEEEE." We’re not exactly sure what she needs to tell me, but it’s probably that she doesn’t want to go to bed.

A couple weeks ago he found the perfect explanation for why I’m not present when he’s putting her to bed. When she yells "Where’s Mommy at?" Mr. BBM’s chosen response has been "Mommy’s pooping." I was curious as to why she was always asking me about my pooping habits and now I know why. Apparently, if Mommy’s allegedly "pooping," she accepts that explanation and goes to sleep. Funny that no matter what I say, it doesn’t stop her from barging into the bathroom to supervise whenever I’m in there and she happens to feel like joining me.

Without Mr. BBM saying a word about it, Lil C now asks each night, "Is Mommy poopin’?" when she sees that she’s destined to be put to bed once again by Daddy. I told Mr. BBM he needs to come up with something else. I don’t want her growing up thinking that her mother spends the entire evening "pooping." Things could get unnecessarily embarrassing when she starts attending school. "So what does your Mommy do, Lil C?" "Well, my Mommy does a lot of pooping every night." Fabulous.

The other night he told her I was asleep on the sofa, which was not far from the truth considering I took some allergy medication to ward off the sneezing and itchy eyes that have been driving me insane. For once, she bought it and went to sleep.

Now that I think about it, I’m not sure that she would actually buy such a response. Mr. BBM probably told her I was "pooped," and to her, that probably still means I’m in the bathroom.

Great.