December 5, 2007
The State of the Knee
The state of the knee is not good.
I had my last session with my physical therapist today before he writes up his assessment of me, my knee and where to go from here. At this point, he is recommending that I at least get my knee scoped, and probably have my ACL reconstructed. Despite working hard at it for the past month, it doesn’t appear that any amount of leg strength is going to stabilize this knee enough to get me back to the things I love.
It’s not just the martial arts either. Right now, I am incapable of kneeling to tie my daughter’s shoes. I can’t sit cross-legged and read my daughter a book. Getting down onto the floor and back up requires tricky maneuvering which always causes pain. Standing up for any length of time gets very uncomfortable, with lots of pressure and dull aching. Straightening my leg completely while walking is painful enough that it causes me to wince, and don’t even get me started on bending my knee. My knee continues to wobble within the joint even when I’m not putting direct pressure on it. It’s very frustrating, and annoying; and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I wish I could just take back that one second plant and kick from so many weeks ago. I’d do just about anything to go back in time and erase this huge nuisance from my life, because that’s exactly what it is right now.
My PT measured my flexion today at 140 degrees. That’s an awesome number but when you compare it to my good leg, it’s not so good for me. I was practically Gumby pre-injury and I just want my old knee back. I know that it’s probably never going to be the exact same again. I get that, but what I can’t stand is it staying the way it is now.
My PT told me that this time of year is pretty slow as far as surgeries go. Most people want to actually enjoy their holidays I guess. So hopefully, if surgery is the way we’re going to go, I’ll be able to get in quickly and get the first week of hell out of the way well before Christmas. I spent time reading online journals tonight about the surgery and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I am scared, and that just the prospect of it is starting to keep me up at night.
I have two days until decision time. The problem is that there are just no good options Unfortunately, going back in time is off the table.
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I’m so sorry to hear surgery is probably the only answer. I can imagine how scared you are. I will keep you in my prayers and know that, no matter what, even though I don’t know you in person, I feel like I know you from your frank, honest posts, that you will get through this. And not just get through it, you’ll end up stronger in the end – maybe not physically but mentally and that is half the battle in martial arts (and life)so go get ’em, BBM!!!
I can relate to your situation as I am 14 weeks post op on my knee surgery. I tore my ACL when I was sparring in karate class. The month that you spent rehabbing will be very beneficial for recovering from surgery as the stronger your leg is going into surgery the faster you will be able to recovery after surgery. That said it will still be at a minimum 4-6 months before you can even think about doing karate again. I recommend three things if you do decide to have surgery. First get a phemorial (sp?) nerve block. This helps alot with the pain after surgery for 2-3 days. Second get a cyro cuff as it will help reduce the swelling. And lastly get and use perpetual/continuous motion machine. This will help get your range of motion back. Keep your spirits up and good luck.
Ah, that stinks. Sorry to hear this.
it makes me so sad to hear this. 🙁 especially for someone as active as you, it must be so incredibly difficult. i hope that surgery, even though scary, will help you get back to your old ways. thinking good thoughts for you!
I know how you feel when you have to contemplate having surgery. It’s always a last resort but a hard choice to make.
You know, BBM, this may not be such a bad thing for you to do. From what you have written about your knee it sounds like it was a time bomb waiting for the right moment to explode, which it did. Ouch. Yes is sucks that you have to get surgery, but it will fix your knee and then you may never have any problems ever again (can you tell I’m the class-is-half-full type?) as long as you keep the leg muscles surrounding the knee strong and healthy and train smart. You will most likely need to wear a brace, but hey, we wear seatbelts don’t we? Think good thoughts about this because it really is a positive thing. Once it is done you can go back to PT and work your toucas off to get back on the shodan path. It’s not very far from your reach, I bet you can almost touch it…
Good luck, and lots of smiles and hugs your way.
Karrie
So sorry to hear about the verdict.
I do have to agree that this might be the best thing for you in the long run though. If you get the knee fixed now then you shouldn’t have to deal with it down the line (hopefully).
You will be in my thoughts as things progress and I will keep good thoughts for your recovery as well.
Sounds like Doug had some good suggestions BBM, keep the faith. We all know you’re gonna come through this great!
I’m sorry to hear it, BBM, but if it has to be done, at least you can get it done quickly.
If it helps any, my sensei blew out his ACL about ten years ago and had to have surgery. Obviously, it didn’t keep him down long, nor has he had problems with the knee since.