Kindergarten Meltdown Countdown

August 28, 2006 by Black Belt Mama · 15 Comments
Filed under: Mental Strain for Mama

For the past few days, I have been reduced to tears at the most ridiculous of things. I was watching Big I play with Lil C yesterday and just started crying. "What’s wrong Mommy?" Big I asked me. I was a blubbering fool, and it took me several minutes to even get out the words, "You’re just growing up and getting so big. That’s all." She just sort of chuckled at me. Somehow I’m thinking the first day of Kindergarten is going to be no laughing matter for me.

For the past few days, I’ve been feeling like one feels in the days leading up to something unpleasant, like a surgical procedure or something. The dread is thick and has been weighing heavily on me. I remember when Big I was born, thinking that now it was going to get tough. While pregnant with her, all her needs were taken care of as long as I ate smart and stayed healthy. On the outside, all bets were off. It was up to me to protect her and provide for her. Now, it’s going one step further. While many leave their children at day care or preschool long before it’s time for Kindergarten, I was not one of those Mom’s. Big I and I have been at home together all the time. This is going to be a big adjustment for all of us.

This week, an envelope came from Big I’s school. We finally found out who her teacher will be. There was a letter telling about all the basics of Kindergarten: what she needs, when she needs to be there (entirely too early in my opinion), when she needs to be picked up (not early enough if you ask me). There was also a name tag for Big I. Just looking at it got me all teary. But the first thing I pulled out of the envelope while still en route back to my front door was an envelope containing a tissue, a cotton ball, and a tea bag. It was addressed "Dear Parent" and this is what had me sobbing. It says:

"Thank you for entrusting your child to me. I promise to do my best everyday to be your child’s companion in learning. After, you have wiped your tears, make yourself a nice warm cup of tea. Put your feet up and relax. Then hold the cotton ball in your hand. The softness will help you to recall the gentle spirit of your child. I will work alongside you this year to help your child grow. Sincerely, Mrs. M"

With Lil C in one arm and Big I walking beside me, I was a certifiable blubbering mess. Complete with the hiccups that hard crying gives you, I struggled to hold it together enough to see my way into the house and straight to the tissue box. I’m getting the feeling that this week is going to be really hard.

I’m also thinking that Mrs. M should have sent home some tranquilizers and a box of tissues.

Despite my uncontrollable tears the past few days (mostly in private), Big I has been filled with excitement for the past few days. I never knew which teacher she really preferred, but when I told her she got Mrs. M, she was elated.

That was until today. I greeted Big I this morning by saying, "THREE MORE DAYS!" and there were instant tears. "NO!" she yelled. "I need more days than that. I need 17 or 50 days," she said. I hugged her and embarked on my usual happy tirade about how great Kindergarten is and how much she’s going to love going each day.

"What if I get hurt? I’ll be all alone," she said. I assured her that the school nurse would take care of her until I got there.

"But you’re going to LEAVE me there and go home without me." I assured her that we only live about five minutes from the school and that I could be there in a flash. I considered letting her know that it’s a distinct possibility that I’ll be camped out in the car outside the school for the entire time she’s inside.

"What if I get in trouble?" she cried. And then I laughed. "You’re not going to get in trouble. Do you know how many times Mommy was in trouble in all of the years I was in school?" I asked her. "How many?" she said. I held up a big goose egg. "None, zero, zilch," I said.

After some big hugs and stories of my own first day of Kindergarten, Big I calmed down. I decided that we should go out and get the last minute things Big I needed for school. What gal doesn’t love to go shopping? Our shopping excursion worked its magic, and Big I was feeling better about school again tonight at bedtime.

I’m just wondering how I’m going to be able to leave my child in the care of someone else for an entire morning. I am thankful that my husband will be accompanying me on Big I’s first day because I have a feeling it’s going to be a little rough for me to see the road on the way home. If he wasn’t going along, I have a feeling I’d probably sit there in my car and just sob for a while. It’s going to be a rough day for me. I hope that it’s nothing short of fabulous for Big I.

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Black Belt Mama’s Challenge

August 25, 2006 by Black Belt Mama · 13 Comments
Filed under: Work it out

I completely missed my 100th post. It was last week sometime. I had been watching for it, and then I completely forgot about it. So, here is post 105 or 106 or something. Apparently I had a lot to say in the last week or so.

Lots of bloggers make a big deal out of their 100th post, pointing readers to previous posts before most readers even knew they existed, or paying tribute to their faithful readers. I wanted to do something different. Of course, feel free to read my archives anytime, but I wanted to do something for us both.

I came up with an idea, and this post serves as the official launch for "Black Belt Mama’s Challenge". The challenge is simple. I am challenging each and every one of my readers, and anyone else who might be interested, to change at least one thing in their life to improve their physical fitness. I personally find it very difficult to stay motivated to continue working out (despite the fact that many of you used to say how motivating I was). I know what I should be doing; I think about what I should be doing, but I don’t do it. Other things get in the way. Excuses pile up and what needs to be done doesn’t get done.

Usually I wait until three months before my beach vacation and decide I need to get moving on that ab work out. This year, I’m starting now with an overall goal of continuing with the process. I plan on having my goals evolve and change as I reach new ones. It’s not all about looking good either; it’s about feeling good. This isn’t an Extreme Makeover. This is about making gradual changes that enhance your physical and mental well-being.

Here’s how it works:

1. Create a personal goal. Your goal can be as simple as "start taking the stairs instead of the elevator" at work, or go to the gym once a week. Something, anything, that will make a positive impact on your physical fitness and life. If you don’t go to the gym at all, don’t make a goal to go to the gym five days a week. It’s not going to happen. Start with something small. You can always add to it later.

2. Create a plan. How are you going to accomplish your goals? If your goal is to take a walk every day, figure out what time you’re going to go, where you’re going to walk, etc. If you have a planned time and place, it’s more likely you’ll actually follow through.

3. Write about it. Post your goal and your plan for all to see. Keep track of your progress and post on your blog on in a personal journal every once in a while. If your goal is to tone your arms, take a picture now and plan on taking pictures as you work towards your goals. It will help keep you motivated (at least that’s what I’m telling myself). Consider adding a category to your blog where you will keep all your entries regarding the challenge so that other participants can find your entries easily.

4. Get the code. I made a button for the occasion. Put the button somewhere in the sidebar on your blog and then let me know it’s there via a comment or an email (black-belt-mama @ hotmail dot com) or just click on the "email me" link on the upper left sidebar. Once I verify that you are indeed taking the BBM Challenge and have your button up, I will add you to the BBM Challenge blogroll. The blogroll will include all BBM Challenge participants so that we can stop by each other’s sites and help each other reach our goals. I’ll also email you the code for the blogroll, so that you can have the participants at your fingertips. The button will link to this entry so that others can see what you’re doing and join in the fun. The code is below. (Thank you Izzy for helping me with this!)

I think it will be a lot of fun and help all of us to reach our goals and make positive changes in our lives.

So here’s how I’m challenging myself.

GOAL: Tone muscles and get better at sparring.

PLAN: Remember that sparring gear my husband and I were going to get each other for Christmas? Christmas is now. As soon as the equipment is in, I plan on sparring at least once a week at home. O.k., let’s start with small reasonable goals: I plan on sparring ONCE a week at home. If it happens more than that, great. But let’s be realistic here. . . I still need time to blog! I also plan on doing some push-ups, sit-ups, and minor weight lifting to start with the muscle toning.

My code is up! My blogroll is just waiting for you! Won’t you take the BBM Challenge?

Edited to Add: This just in. . . participants in the BBM Challenge are eligible for a 5% discount coupon code for Everything Fitness. They have everything from boxing gloves to yoga mats to heart rate monitors, so no matter what your personal goal is, they will be able to help.

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In the Beginning

August 24, 2006 by Black Belt Mama · 12 Comments
Filed under: Tales from the dojo

Big I and I attended a different class than our usual one this week due to some scheduling conflicts. I was very pleasantly surprised to see two brand new students who were attending their first class together. The most exciting part is that the two new students were a father and his son who couldn’t have been more than five years old.

Our dojo used to be filled with parent/child duo’s or trio’s. That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. I’m usually the oldest one by a good ten years or so, and I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to see a new ADULT in the dojo. I wanted to go and hug him, but I thought that might be a bit awkward. It might scare him away, and I certainly DO NOT want that. It’s nice to not be the only one throwing punches and kicks at a 5-year old.

In the intermediate class, I was high rank. The next closest rank to me were some very little yellow belts. Because it was the new duo’s first class, our instructor kept the lesson plan pretty basic. We did lots of punches, kicks, and bag work. We also did some basic self defense, wrist grabs to be exact. Along with the honor of being high rank in class, also comes the responsibility of becoming a human pretzel on command. I’m getting pretty good at the whole human pretzel thing.

Thankfully, this weeks demonstration did not involve me hitting the ground with force. Instead, this week was all about twisting my arm behind my back and using different joint locks to make me instantly sink to the ground. I’ve always suspected it, but this week it was revealed for sure. I think my instructor (who now reads AND commented on this blog) takes a certain type of pleasure in making people drop like flies. It’s never done in a malicious way, just a matter-of-fact, this-is-how-its-done, "you’re going down" type of way. I can’t wait until I can make someone drop like that without even thinking about it. Right now, my brain just completely interferes. It’s like I have a little gi-wearing master sitting on my shoulder saying, "Not like that Stupid!", "You know bad guys aren’t going to give you a second chance," etc. etc. I can’t wait until I get better and can just shut down the little gi-wearing conscience that chips away at my confidence.

I remember my first week at karate, now over two years ago. I learned a simple way to get out of a wrist grab and a couple punches and kicks. I left the dojo ready to take on the WORLD. I felt downright bad. I oozed a "Don’t mess with me" demeanor. At the time I was taking class with my neighbors and their daughter as well. After class, we would usually go out to eat or pick up pizza. I remember walking into restaurants wearing my gi thinking I was so damn cool, thinking that people must be afraid of me, of us, our little gang of white belts. Of course, we never wore our white belts anywhere. We’d let them all wonder. Were we black belts? Brown? Green? And then I found out what everyone was really wondering. . .

"Do you work in nursing?"

What a way to blow a perfectly healthy ego!

I found myself thinking about the journey so far as I drove home this week. It seems funny to me that I think I had more confidence back when I was a lower rank. It seems that the more you learn, the more inadequate you can start to feel.

It also doesn’t help that in my advanced class, we did a black belt kata that the new black belts need for 2nd degree black belt. I believe it was called "Chinto" but a more appropriate name would have been something like "In San Ity". It’s a kata that is done in a straight line, back and forth. Our instructor said to imagine you are fighting on a narrow bridge over a waterway, or on the narrow patch of land between rice paddies. To me, it seemed more like log rolling or something. It was really difficult. At one point, all three black belts did what I think they called a "knee kick" which simply put is just a throw-yourself-in-the-air-with-both-legs-eloquently-flailing-at-ridiculous-heights-and-land-ready-to-attack. All three black belts defied gravity as I watched in awe, sort of hopped a few steps and said, "Yeah, I’ll meet you on the other side." They would have waited I think, but that’s a move I’ll need some private time with before revealing in a public forum.

Our instructor told me and "thatblackbeltchic" (who is also reading and commenting on my blog) that we need to quit saying things like "That wasn’t very good" and other self-deprecating phrases that we both use on a regular basis. Although it will be hard, especially considering I’m the gal who apologizes during sparring for actually landing a hit, I’m going to work on that. Maybe if I act the part, I’ll start to feel it and my karate will improve. I’m going to try to stop putting myself down and start acting like I know what I’m doing (even if I don’t). It may be an issue of the chicken and the egg. What comes first? Being good at karate, or thinking you are good which turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I’ll let you know how it works out.

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There’s a new karate-ka in town

August 24, 2006 by Black Belt Mama · 12 Comments
Filed under: Just for Fun

Let me just tell you that Lil C is a NATURAL at this whole martial arts thing. She put her gi on and instantly made her way to her port-a-crib where she taunted the Teletubbies who inhabit it and threatened to show them "what’s up."

She then had a thought. Why attack the teletubbies when I can go bite Mommy with my new tooth (did I mention she’s up to FIVE now with a sixth that will push through this week)? So, Lil C crawled her way over to me and proceeded to bite my tank top and pull back a good foot with it still in her mouth. She won’t just punch or kick her opponents. Oh no! She’ll devour her opponents live.

After taking down Mommy, she decided to take a breather and read her favorite blog for a bit. . .

After her break, she contemplated attacking Big I’s hand. (Big I was HYSTERICAL watching Lil C maneuver around in her gi. Mommy’s commentary sort of helped the laughter along as well.)

She first checked her "weapons" to make sure they were still in working order. . . they were.

But don’t stress y’all. Just because Lil C has taken up karate doesn’t mean that she’s all warrior, all the time. . .

To the contrary. . . I mean who ELSE could be happy when practicing "break falls"? Not me, that’s for sure!

And the proud mama would just like to point out that the little left leg of hers is in almost perfect snap kick position.

Who cares that she uses her "black belt" as a teether? That’s just to throw off her opponent. She’s innovative, creative, and will only add to her already formidable list of signature moves.

My next post is up over at Save the Soldiers. It’s all about my TOP SECRET Fantasy Football draft strategy. If you know anything about football, you’ll probably get a kick out of it, literally.

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Rockstar Elimination: Week 8

August 24, 2006 by Black Belt Mama · 2 Comments
Filed under: Rockstar

I don’t know if Dilana has bird flu from those feathers being fused to her lashes or what, but she was pretty rude to Ryan. She basically told him that his performance would have been nothing without the house band. The house band is great, no argument there. But without Ryan’s song, they wouldn’t have had anything to play now would they? I thought Dilana was a bit out of line.

She was also out of line during the interviews. Dilana trash talked EVERYONE and it made her look scared and unsure of herself. Someone give her a vaccine or something. That bird flu is nasty.

Forget seeing Storm fight Ryan for music. I have a feeling Dilana and Ryan are going to be going to (at least) verbal blows again very soon.

And onto the performances. . .

Supernova performed a really good song tonight. With Toby fronting the band, it was nothing short of incredible. The best part of the entire performance though, is something that wasn’t even there. . . no Big Daddy Kane dancers. Supernova, you got the message, LOUD AND CLEAR. I thank you, we all thank you.

I got it all wrong when it came to the bottom three, and there wasn’t even an encore tonight. What was up with that? Magni performed "Fire" and showed up without the mushroom hat. He is totally reading my blog right? Let’s test the theory. Magni, you would love totally awesome wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt next week. Think it will happen? He did a great job with the song and jammed on his guitar throughout the performance. There was no way he was going home, at least not tonight. The only thing I’m not liking about him is how he sort of nose-butts the microphone. He really needs to work on distancing I think.

Patrice sang "Middle of the Road", but her fate was sealed before she even started singing. Four times in the bottom three is the equivalent of an instant plane ticket home. Patrice was the only one I got right for the bottom three; and she was sent packing. She seems like a really nice person and all, but she just wasn’t right for this band and there was no point keeping her around any longer. She sang "Middle of the Road", but she’s only ever been as good as the middle of the pack for this group.

Toby being in the bottom three completely surprised me. He’s back people. The real Toby, the good one, the one who knows how to perform so start voting for him. He sang "Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots and easily kept himself in the running. I have a feeling Toby’s back to stay, and as Outkast says, "I like the way you move." Keep it up Toby.

I have a feeling that at least one contestant will have a shiner next week. To be a fly on the wall in that house this week. . .

Dilana better lock her bedroom door. Get some rest girl and stay away from the birds.