Rockstar Recap: Week 8 and “Wrong Sauce”
Filed under: Rockstar
The season finale is September 13th and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit happy about it. As soon as the show begins its air time, googlers and yahooers from far and wide start coming under the search terms, "Rockstar Recap." It stresses me out. Sure, I love the extra visitors (who will probably just all go away in a few short weeks when this is all over), but I just want to make it clear that I have two kids and sometimes don’t get to watch the TIVO version of my show until VERY late at night. That, and the fact that I write a RECAP, not a psychic prediction so as the show begins for you. . . it’s beginning for me too.
Moving right along.
Patrice started off the show with an original performance. It was the most spirited I’ve seen her in a long time. The song was really pretty good. But she will definitely be going home this week. No doubt about it.
Magni performed "Smells like Teen Spirit" and brought down the house. I liked everything about this performance, with the exception of his hat. It made him look more like a rotten mushroom head. Lose the hat Magni-the stage lights look cool reflecting off your bald head. Really.
Ryan was awesome. He performed an original song that I could totally hear Supernova playing. I could hear it on the radio immediately. However, his description left a lot to be desired. When the Supernova guys told him they liked his song, he said something like, "Yeah, it’s about the end of the world. Some people will be in church; some people will be screwing." Great description Ryan. That was eloquent, romantic even. Someone should just tell him to keep his mouth shut because he also attributed his good performance to the fact that "I got laid dude." Good for you Ryan.
Storm wanted to literally fight Ryan for the original performance but ended up backing down when the other contestants encouraged her to let Ryan have it. Instead she wound up with "Cryin’" by Aerosmith. She did a really nice job, but I would have liked it so much more to see her go a few rounds with Ryan who looked completely bewildered at the possibility of sparring with Storm. Who wouldn’t? She looks tough and she’s 7′ 2" or something insane like that. My only criticism of her performance is that like Magni in weeks gone by, I was starting to fear that she was going to pop a major blood vessel in her forehead.
Dilana has been growing on me in recent weeks. Tonight changed that. First, she ran around the pool naked in order to sing, "Every breath you take". That’s all fine and good, and it shows you have guts (It also shows other "things" but we won’t go there). But I was not impressed with the way she sang the song one bit. I was also distracted by what appeared to be bird wings that were affixed to her eyelids. Very odd. Because they were bright pink, from a distance, it made her appear as if she had eyelid surgery gone wrong. Tommy Lee, where was your "wrong sauce" comment tonight? And one last thing, Dilana singing "Every breath you take" was like watching The Killers sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." It didn’t work for me. Then again, she sang it for her Mom. The same Mom she hasn’t spoken to in years, so she got you on the whole sympathy vote thing.
Toby renewed my interest again. I’ve been waiting for him to do this. He changed up "Layla" and I loved the harder arrangement. I know what you’re thinking, but don’t even go there. I was liking his performance even before he disrobed from the waist up. He also had "EVS" written on his chest which he says is Australian for "Whatevah". That happens to be one of my most favorite words. Way to go Toby.
Lukas performed the one Killers song that I don’t particularly care for. I didn’t like his performance at all. I liked the fact that he was wearing sunglasses because I wasn’t subjected to his insane- asylum-darting eyes. But then he flung the glasses off his head in a ballet sashay meets freaky move that was marinated in "wrong sauce." It also occurred to me that Lukas really needs to take up some endurance training. Maybe he intends to sound breathless, but he sounds more like he’s going to keel over instead. I’ve also decided that it’s that smile with his eyes closed, head tilted to the side, where he sort of emits screechy sounds that really bothers me. I want Lukas to go home in the worst way. I really do.
Bottom three: Patrice, Lukas and Dilana (I’m going totally on who I think deserves to be there. I don’t think Dilana will actually end up there, but I believe she should.)
Sayonara: Patrice
Encore goes to Ryan, yet again. He’s becoming a bit of a front-runner, no?
A Mom who SHOULD feel guilty and more. . .
Filed under: 100 Things and Other Stuff, Things that get my gi all in a bunch
I am not the best parent in the world. I don’t always keep my cool. As far as I’m concerned, anyone who says they are always a picture perfect parent who never starts to lose it, is a big fat liar. However, there are some people who never should have had children.
I play tennis during the summer with a group of women. We play doubles for a couple hours every week and have a lot of fun. Tonight we were playing and while I was about to receive a serve, I heard crying. Loud crying. Hysterical crying. I glanced in the direction it was coming from and saw a little boy who was definitely no more than two years of age (and that’s being generous). He was a really little guy and was toddling along with the uncertainty of a newish walker, and was screaming hysterically with his little arms in the air. I finished playing the point thinking that I must be wrong; a parent must be nearby. The point ended and I instinctively starting walking towards the little boy. He was three tennis courts away from me, just outside of the fence standing in a grassy area right by the parking lot. . . Right beside the parking lot where teenagers regularly go driving about 50 mph, radio blaring as they pass by the courts. I yelled to the other women I was playing with, "Have any of you seen a parent with that little boy?" They all shook their heads, "No."
I started running. I crossed behind the men who were playing beside us and ran behind the men who were playing beside them. I was about at the gate. The little toddler was still screaming hysterically. He was still a baby. As I got closer I realized he couldn’t yet be two. Just as I was about to reach the gate and make the final run to the distressed child, a woman in a mini-van, at LEAST six cars away from where the little boy was standing BY HIMSELF, just TWO FEET from the crowded parking lot, emerges from the van and screams at this child, "I TOLD YOU TO COME HERE!"
She had apparently seen me running to the child’s aid and sprinted her fat ass out of the van quickly enough to beat me to him. All of the tennis had stopped on the courts. Everyone was watching. She quickly put him in the van and drove away. I highly doubt he was properly restrained in a car seat.
When I wrote a while back about having an urge to use my karate to teach some teenage boys a lesson after almost killing me and Lil C by driving too fast around a dangerous curve, I received warnings and words of caution. I may get them now, but I seriously wanted to POUND this woman. If she hadn’t driven away as fast as she did in her dark minivan, I would have definitely had some strong words for her. She better seriously hope she does not see me again.
The thing is this: every mother (and father) has a day like that. Every mother has one of those days where you just feel ready to crack. Every mother has been in a situation where "it’s time to go" and your little one has a completely different idea. Every mother is going to have a day when their child is having an absolute tantrum and you just can’t deal anymore.
The difference between a good mother and a bad one is that good ones know how to deal with this situation. If your child is still in a crib, you place the child calmly in the crib with a few of his/her favorite toys and walk away and collect yourself. If your child is older, you send them to their room, where they are safe and you will have a moment or two to yourself. Who among mothers hasn’t been there? We all have and if you say that you haven’t, I’ll say it again: you are a big far liar, or your child isn’t old enough to really test you yet, or you don’t spend enough time with your kids. It happens to the best of us.
Bad mothers, like the one tonight, have days like this and deal with them in a ridiculous way that could potentially cause harm to their child. I get it that the child did not want to leave the park; but when your child is this small, you pick him/her up and put them in their car seat, kicking and screaming, whatever. If you have to carry them on your side, head out the front, feet out the back, you do so. You DO NOT leave your child unattended near a busy, crowded PARKING LOT of all places. I get the whole, "I’m leaving. . . " thing. I would be lying if I said I never did this. Would I EVER do this in a parking lot? NO WAY! It works in the Disney Store; it works at amusement parks, but I would NEVER do this in a parking lot and I would NEVER let myself be as far away as that woman was from her son. I would NEVER try this technique with a child as young as that little boy.
He was not even old enough to understand what she was doing. There is no way he could have possibly comprehended that he was supposed to follow. He probably didn’t even see her, because she was THAT. FAR. AWAY.
The worst part of this whole night is knowing that little boy went home with THAT woman. I can only hope that she got herself together by the time they arrived home.
I often feel like I could be a better Mom. I think that I should take my kids to the park more, or to the pool more, or come up with new things to do more frequently. Every Mom has "Mom Guilt" and it’s usually there unnecessarily.
If that mother has "Mom Guilt" she deserves it 100%. She should be ashamed of herself.
I just had to get that off my chest.
(Deep exhale)
And on to happier things. . .
Yep, you saw it here. I’m just getting all famous and stuff. Now I’m being "interviewed". I’m special, what can I say. I wish that button said, "Hey Girls and Guys" because I know I have a LOT of male readers; and I love all my readers dearly regardless of what type of equipment you have. But, if you just can’t get enough of me today, you can click on that happy looking chick and check out my interview. After you check out the interview for Black Belt Mama, you can also read the interview from Birth Stories, which has also been listed on the site. That interview can be found here.
And speaking of not being able to get enough of me. . . my black octagonal sai are IN! They have finally arrived, which means a video of yours truly trying to do justice to Kyan No Sai may be just around the corner. I said "MAY BE." I feel like I should let all my fellow karate-ka’s know I’m legit; but at the same time, I would much rather make you laugh and get enjoyment from my words, my writing. Posting a video that can be picked apart by all (and potentially laughed at), especially since I’ve been "found out" is a little intimidating. So, I will post a video of Kyan No Sai under these conditions:
- After video is shot, if wrinkles are highly visible-the video is getting tossed.
- If I’m having a bad hair day-the video is getting tossed.
- If I start talking to myself during the kata-the video is getting tossed.
- If my husband starts laughing while filming the kata-the video is getting tossed.
Can you deal with these conditions? Can you follow your mother’s advice if I post a video and "If you don’t have something nice to say, keep it to yourself"? You think about it, and I will too. . . maybe. . .
You know what else has arrived? Yep, that’s right. . .
Lil C’s baby gi is here, which means that a new picture is forth-coming. I think I might wait until after testing though, in September. Maybe Big I will have another green stripe, and I just might be flaunting the fall’s must have color and accessory for any karate-ka. . . brown belt.
Calgon, Take Me AWAY!
Have you ever had one of those days/weeks/months when you just feel exhausted, like you need a total break both mentally and physically? This is how I feel lately. With Kindergarten fast approaching, and a birthday party for Lil C that will be here before I know it. . . I am just completely burnt.
I’m also depressed that I’m going to have to start getting up early again. I am a night owl as evidenced by the times that I post. When I was a teacher, the absolute worst part of my job was the time I had to get up in the morning (o.k. maybe the second worst-first being all my lovely students with probation officers). Some might think I’m lazy, but my internal clock just works differently than everyone else’s-that or I just got hooked on Conan O’Brien and can’t give him up. Late at night is the only true "me" time I get, and like I said last week, it’s all about me!
Regardless, my life is about to change drastically. . . there will be school bake sales, parent/teacher conferences, open house night at the school, homework, fund raisers, shuttling to and from the school at ungodly hours. . .
Which is why I always love to escape over at Kailani’s place, The Pink Diary. One look at one of her pictures can mentally take you away. . . to Hawaii. And who wouldn’t want to go there? She LIVES there. I can’t think of a better place to live. Her kids are adorable. Her writing is always fun, and well, she’s an absolute sweetheart. She also just got a new blog design that looks completely fabulous. AND, she’s also one of my favorite people because she submitted a birth story that is short and sweet-the way natural labor should be (Don’t I wish!).
So, while I’m spending the day wallowing in the fact that I only have ONE. MORE. WEEKEND. before I have to look forward to weekends just so that I can sleep in a bit. . . go visit Kailani and tell her that the-wallowing-in-her-own-self-pity Black Belt Mama sent you.
Thanks to all the people who bid this week on renting my blog. I always choose the first person who bids, but never choose the "automatically accept first bid" thing just in case someone decides to bid on my blog who: thinks martial arts is stupid, spouts politics that I couldn’t possibly agree with or recommend that people read, or features non-family friendly content. I know the minute I would turn that option on, someone would bid who talks about putting "waza" in the "bunkai" and I would be scarred for life, as would my regular readers.
Etiquette Lesson 1
Scene: Parking lot at crowded shopping center. You are about to pull in a space when the SUV driver waiting to pull in the other side pulls in and pulls right through into your space! The nerve! You throw your arms up in disgust and realize that one of your children is too young to understand profanity; the other thankfully has headphones on. It’s not just you making a big deal either, because another person walking through the parking lot watches the whole thing go down and gives you a knowing look, nod and a glare of solidarity at the SUV lady who just took your space.
So, you do the only thing a rational person with parking lot road rage would do in this instance. With what feels like a fire lit under your butt, you speed around the lane to the space the rude SUV lady should have taken, so your car is directly behind hers. She gets out of the car and you start to roll down your window to let her know what a complete and total jerk she is. . . and then you notice the car seat. You see her open the back door and pull from the backseat a child of no more than two years of age.
What to do? What to do?
Etiquette Rule #1: When the object of your parking lot road rage has a young child present, the operation is dead. Abort tirade. Bite your tongue and save it for the heavy bag later. Damn.
Exception to rule: If driver lady is alone, or if driver lady has a teenager or two as rude as she is, operation parking lot tirade is a GO.
Disclaimer: I have nothing against women (or men for that matter) who drive SUV’s. My only hostility towards a certain type of car driver is towards those who drive Jetta’s. Where I live, every Jetta owner is apparently auditioning for the Indy 500, complete with passes on the right that cut you off and speeds that approach the speed of light.
Stay tuned for more of BBM’s Etiquette Lessons. There is no shortage of things that tick me off these days.
New Gig and Exciting News
I wrote a post recently about Mommy Bloggers. I never published it. The basic idea of it was that I don’t know what kind of blogger I am. I’m a Mom and I blog, so do people consider me a Mommy Blogger? Or, do they consider me something else entirely? The post was about me not being really sure where I fit into the whole blogging categorizing stereotyping thing. (I had the same dilemma in high school when I was a cheerleader/field hockey player/saxophonist in the jazz band/student council member/writer for school paper/ping pong club member/prom committee. Yes, I said ping pong club. That’s a whole other post.)
If I’m a "Karate Blogger". . . GREAT! Happy to be a member of the club. If I’m a "Mommy Blogger". . . Cool! A lot of my favorite reads are Mommy Bloggers and I’d joyfully accept my membership in that club as well. I take it personally when I hear about Mommy Blogger bashing. After all, it is a free country, and individuals have a choice of what to read and what not to. Why don’t the bashers just decide NOT to read the Mommy Bloggers instead of making a big deal out of such a silly issue? It seems like a waste of time to me.
While lots of "Mommy bloggers" are getting gigs out there writing about parenting and kids, etc., I’m getting different kinds of offers entirely. I already told you about my hometown newspaper blog. They asked me to write about karate, and I only post my karate posts there because I don’t want people knowing too much of my business around town. I also like a certain degree of anonymity, especially when my children are involved. (Of course, we’ve all learned this week that anonymity can be blown out the door without warning.)
Then came an email from an unlikely source. . . Last week I was asked to write some exclusive posts for a website called "Save the Soldiers". Their website is in existence entirely to support the troops wherever they are, whatever they may be doing. They were looking to expand their "Off Topic" area and asked me to write for them.
It occurred to me that I must not be a "Mommy Blogger" if "Save the Soldiers" is asking me to write for them.
I thought it was a very worthy cause. I already know of a couple soldiers who like my site, so I thought why not? If you’d like to read my latest post over there, you can view it here. I’ll be posting an exclusive there once a week.
When you come back from there, give my renter a hello, and help her pick a baby name already! Her time here will end this weekend and you don’t want to miss how she goes through the names and hashes each one out.
And speaking of babies. . . I told you a few weeks ago about little Julia. You can visit her site under my "If I’m not here, I’m there" roll call. After enduring a few weeks now of chemotherapy and nasty side effects, losing her hair, and being in the hospital more than at home. . . they did a scan of her brain to check on whether or not the chemo is doing its job on her brain tumor.
I am overjoyed to report that her tumor is at least half the size it was previously. It’s amazing how you can care so much about someone you’ve never even met. I cried tears of joy this morning and just had to share the news. If you’ve said a prayer for her, thank you and KEEP IT UP!
Also, Deryck’s daughter, Percy recently had open heart surgery. He has a great site and a heart-warming story, not to mention the adorable pictures.
Also, the latest birth story is up. I truly never realized how many women still had natural childbirth. I thought I was alone in that (I know I was the lone screamer at the hospital both nights that I gave birth). I am actively looking for submissions, so if you are interested please see the guidelines over on the site, and shoot me an email when you have your submission ready!
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