May 5, 2008
Up to the Saints
Although I spent a ridiculous amount of time at Tequila Con trying to convince Dustin to buy my house instead of searching on the west coast where things are overpriced, somehow I don’t think he was buying. At one point I’m fairly certain I even offered to shoot him the MLS listing for my house. I may have even thrown out the words: "two gas fireplaces" and "hardwood floors" in between drinks and tater tots. I met lots of cool people at Tequila Con, but sadly, I could not sell my home while there.
So, I did what every desperate home seller does these days. We loaded the entire BBM family into the van and headed to the Christian bookstore across town to buy a statue of Saint Joseph to bury him in our front yard (Don’t believe it works? Click and learn). The entire drive home, Big I kept telling us it wasn’t going to work until I read her the instructions:
1. Ask St. Joseph for help.
2. Believe that he will help.
3. Now place him on your property and stop stressing the hell out already.
(O.k., Step 3 is slightly embellished but you get the idea.) As we drove up our street, she agreed to believe and we started chanting, "I do believe in St. Joseph, I do! I do!" Peter Pan style. We said our prayers out on the sidewalk and Big I even offered to help bury him out there. Once the house sells, you’re supposed to dig him up and place him inside the new home in a place of honor.
If this works I will build that little guy a shrine, and I don’t even know how to build.
Somehow I’m wondering if threatening to bury your realtor upside down on his head wouldn’t have the same effect on getting your house sold? I’m just wondering.
Our house was on the market for a year or more. We buried St. Joseph and sold it within the month.
A buddy had a similar experience several years earlier.
So, it can’t hurt.
I’ve heard this works before too. I was prepared to do it when we tried to sell our townhouse. Fortunately the market was really good and we didn’t have to.
Go St. Joe!
We did this when we sold our last home. We sold within a month of burying him. Could be just coincidence, but who knows? I say cover your bases!
I’m not positive but think I remember from Catholic CCD the penalty for burying St. Michael in your front yard only to have him dug up by a neighboring Pitbull is an automatic trip to Purgatory!
Here is the approach you need to sell your house:
http://www.last.fm/music/The+Jerky+Boys/_/Car+Salesman
I hope this works for you (and my Mom!).
I’m adopting the “watched pot never boils” philosphy with all this.
Now that we have listed our property with a higher power, we can stop waiting feverishly for something to happen. It will happen when it happens.
By the way, did the instructions say anything about St. Joe’s commission once our house sells???
The Christian bookstore I do inventory management for sells these little guys and people always come in with the most interesting stories of the “miracles” that St. Joe performs. Here’s wishing you a St. Joe miracle for yourself!
Delmer: So many people have told me this. That’s why I went and picked one up.
Finn: Lucky you! Go St. Joe indeed.
GoMommy: I love hearing these stories. Gives me hope.
Chris: What if you don’t believe in purgatory and you go and retrieve the saint from the pitbull with your mad ninja skills?
Sizzle: I hope it works for your Mom too.
Mr. BBM: Yes, it recommends you donate to the homeless.
TT: I hope I can share mine soon.
I tried St. Joseph and prayed HARD but we never sold. I think you may have better luck burying your realtor.
Well.. I’m a great believer in the intercession of the Saints, I’ve seen them help people out in many varied ways. It’s more of the action of asking for help than the actual physical “buying and burying” part. I explained to my kids that they wouldn’t hesitate to ask me to pray for them, would they? Well then, what stops us from asking those who are in heaven already to take a few minutes from their eternity to help us out? In my eyes, God knows what we need, and want already, and if He sees fit to allow St. Joseph to help me out so that I can learn to appreciate him as a friend, and mentor.. All is good.
St. Joseph knows what it’s like to be a refugee, and to have to move from home to home. I’m sure that he’d be willing to help you sell your house to someone who would appreciate it.