May 5, 2008

Up to the Saints

Although I spent a ridiculous amount of time at Tequila Con trying to convince Dustin to buy my house instead of searching on the west coast where things are overpriced, somehow I don’t think he was buying.  At one point I’m fairly certain I even offered to shoot him the MLS listing for my house.  I may have even thrown out the words: "two gas fireplaces" and "hardwood floors" in between drinks and tater tots. I met lots of cool people at Tequila Con, but sadly, I could not sell my home while there.

So, I did what every desperate home seller does these days.  We loaded the entire BBM family into the van and headed to the Christian bookstore across town to buy a statue of Saint Joseph to bury him in our front yard (Don’t believe it works? Click and learn).  The entire drive home, Big I kept telling us it wasn’t going to work until I read her the instructions:

1.  Ask St. Joseph for help.

2.  Believe that he will help.

3.  Now place him on your property and stop stressing the hell out already.

(O.k., Step 3 is slightly embellished but you get the idea.)  As we drove up our street, she agreed to believe and we started chanting, "I do believe in St. Joseph, I do! I do!" Peter Pan style. We said our prayers out on the sidewalk and Big I even offered to help bury him out there.  Once the house sells, you’re supposed to dig him up and place him inside the new home in a place of honor. 

If this works I will build that little guy a shrine, and I don’t even know how to build.

Somehow I’m wondering if threatening to bury your realtor upside down on his head wouldn’t have the same effect on getting your house sold?  I’m just wondering.

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