May 15, 2007

A new “baby”

My Mother’s Day gift arrived in the mail last week. When I opened the box and unpacked all the styrofoam peanuts, what greeted me was a miniature tree, a bonsai tree. The card was from "your karate kids" and it was a sweet and thoughtful gift. Once I had the delicate tree out of the box, I saw a sheet of paper at the bottom of the box.

The sheet was single-spaced, and typed on both front and back. . . the instructions for my bonsai tree’s care. For most plants, the care instructions can be fit on something the size of a small bookmark, but for the bonsai. . .

-Watering is crucial, but don’t over-water and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don’t under-water.

-Sunlight is crucial, but not too much direct sunlight and you better have a window that faces south or else the Bonsai Police are coming to take you away!

-Bonsai tree’s do best outside, but ONLY when there is no threat of frost. Bringing the plant inside once it starts to get cool again is a gradual process. You actually have to bring the tree in for a few hours at a time to reacclimate the tree. Talking to the tree to let it know it’s going to be o.k is highly recommended (o.k. I added that last part).

After reading the entire two pages, I started wishing the box contained a massage therapist instead, and started feeling like I now had three very temperamental children to care for. And then, right at the end of the second detailed page? A recommendation to buy the book about the complete care of the bonsai tree, because really, these two pages are just the basics.

I’m including a picture of my bonsai tree now, because this is probably the best it will ever look.

Mr. Miyagi, where are you????

Posted by Black Belt Mama on May 15, 2007 in Mental Strain for Mama | 11 Comments

May 11, 2007

Surprise Promotion

When I arrived at karate class tonight I was expecting some kata, waza, and maybe some self defense. After a two week hiatus due to the cess pool of germs that is my house, I was feeling rusty and anxious to get back in the swing of things. What I wasn’t expecting was a promotion, but that’s just what I got.

1st kyu feels very surreal. Surreal because I wasn’t expecting this until June or September, and surreal because my next test will be for black belt. It just doesn’t seem possible because I feel like I have so much more to learn.

I envisioned my testing for 1st kyu as very polished and a step-up from my other testing performances. But truth be told, I’ve been working on my own to learn the last two kata’s I need for Shodan and the three I needed for 1st kyu felt like they needed to be dusted off a bit.

Testing was a bit informal this time around and promotions were moved up because two of our instructors are injured enough to require surgery within the next few weeks. They didn’t know if they would be up for testing in June, so it happened now.

The only problem with tonight was Big I. We have been working on Big I’s material at home with a hopeful promotion in either June or September to green belt. With t-ball and end of the year Kindergarten activities, she hasn’t been practicing as much as she should be and she was not at all ready for green belt.

Big I has been taking karate for three years now. Tonight she watched other students who have been there for much less time get promoted to her rank and beyond. I talked to her during class, as did my instructors, and told her that she has time to learn this kata the way it should be learned and that they will test her this summer. Her response was that she didn’t want to wait; but really, that was the only thing that made sense. She’s simply not ready.

I thought she was o.k. with this right up until we got in the car to come home. Before she was even buckled she began to sob. "I really want my green belt," she cried, and I felt horrible for her. But then I told her what one of my instructor’s told me a few weeks ago. She said that when I go to black belt testing I will "take my black belt" instead of "testing for black belt" meaning that I will walk in there knowing my stuff so well that the only option is to promote me to Shodan.

I asked her how she would feel if she was given a green belt without earning it. I asked her to think about how good it will feel to get that belt after she’s tested and done everything right. After a good long cry she came around, but still insisted she was very sad.

I told her to turn that sadness into motivation to learn, so that she can go into the dojo in another month or so and "take her green belt." It was horrible as her Mom to see her so upset; but I think that she will look back on this disappointment as a very good lesson for life. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, or how quickly anyone else is being promoted or moving along in this world. The only thing that really matters is where she’s going and how she’s going to get there. Although she didn’t necessarily choose this path for herself, in the end she will have learned about discipline, determination, and eventually, how good it feels to succeed. And that is certainly a lesson worth learning.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on May 11, 2007 in Tales from the dojo | 16 Comments

May 9, 2007

Interview Meme

This has been going around the internet, even more rampant than the sicknesses around my household. Since I’m practically a shut-in from the allergies turned bronchitis, and Lil C’s virus I thought I’d participate. J from Thinking About posed these five questions of me:

Is there any food you could eat everyday without getting sick of it?

The only thing that comes to mind is dark chocolate. I absolutely love dark chocolate, the darker the better.

Do you consider yourself to be practical, a free spirit, or lazy?

This one is kind of tough since I think all those descriptions are so different. I think I’m a pretty practical person. I think I’m probably too high strung to be considered a free spirit although my birth sign strongly disagrees with that assessment. Lazy? Sometimes I can be, but when you consider that I’m a stay at home Mom, part time work from home recruiter, working on writing a book, Team Mom for Big I’s t-ball team, and very much committed to my karate, I don’t think lazy describes me at all.

What do you consider to be the most important quality in a person?

Honesty. I hate liars. Just ask some of my ex-boyfriends. Nothing makes my blood pressure go through the roof as much as when someone lies to me. Along with honesty is just being a really good person, someone who is honest with others and also honest with themselves. I can’t stand when people are passive-aggressive and not direct about things either. I think all of that falls under the category of honesty and I think that is the most important and admirable quality a person can have.

If you could change one thing about your personality, what would it be?

I wish I wasn’t so sensitive about things. It upsets me when people say things about me or my kids. Things tend to just sit in my head and simmer for a while. I can’t seem to let rude comments go and I really wish I could.

Smoking or Non? If non-smoking, have you ever been a regular smoker?

NON! I am the person reporting people who throw cigarette butts out their windows. I also tell smokers to move away from entrances to stores so that my kids don’t have to inhale that crap; and I have no problem telling teenagers they’re being stupid when I see them smoking or asking them to move away from me and my kids if they continue to be stupid.

That being said (and PLEASE let this be the entry my parents do not read), I was stupid in college and when I was out and around my friends I occassionally smoked. I can’t even begin to say how much I regret having done that. It was so stupid. One day, I made up my mind that I was done and that was it. I never did it again. I wouldn’t say I was a regular smoker at any point in my life though.

Here are the rules if you’d like to play:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview Me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the questions and answers.

4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview readers in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Depending on how many more diapers I have to change today, it may take me a couple days to get these out if you choose to be interviewed.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on May 9, 2007 in Just for Fun | 11 Comments

May 8, 2007

Renaming blog

I think I need to rename my blog. Lately this place has been less about karate and more about sickness. I’m thinking I should rename it "Barfed on Mama" or "Co-pay Blues" or something. I was unable to make it to class again.

We got back from the hospital about two hours ago. Lil C is very sick. She spiked a fever of 105.4 today after her nap and had me an absolute wreck. The doctor couldn’t see her until this evening. He checked her out thoroughly and decided to do a blood count. No big deal right? A finger stick and done, except Lil C’s finger stick turned into two finger sticks. When they wanted to do a third after she had thrown up all over the exam room, my husband and I said "NO!".

The doctor came in, agreed with our decision and sent us to the hospital to rule out pneumonia. The x-ray process was a nightmare. Imagine a 19 month old baby being strapped into a plastic tube with her arms straight above her head. I almost cried, but I knew I had to try to keep her from being a complete wreck. My efforts were futile, but the x-ray came back negative.

Tomorrow, we fill a prescription to combat the beginnings of an ear infection and hope that the rest of this stuff is just viral.

Of course, you know what that means right?

You’ll also be able to label this blog, "Black Belt Mama Barfs". One thing is for sure; I’ll either be cleaning it up or throwing up at some point this week.

And note to self: In the future, skip feeding ill child spinach. . . and I thought spaghetti was bad.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on May 8, 2007 in Mental Strain for Mama | 11 Comments

May 3, 2007

Backorder Bummer

I haven’t ordered anything from Victoria Secret in a long time, so I forgot how entertaining it is talking to the customer service people there.

Back when I was in college, I called to order a swimsuit. I placed my order and was ready with my credit card, but then the guy (because the VS customer service people are all guys it seems) says, "You know what would look really good with that swimsuit?" Like an idiot, I indulged him and before I knew it I got a box the size of Texas in the mail complete with my swimsuit, underwear, shorts, sweatshirt, cover-up and about eight other tops.

How did that happen? Easily. Take one customer service GUY who says things like "You’d look hot in that", add one insecure college girl and you’ve got a credit card disaster in the making.

This morning, I logged onto Victoria Secret and ordered my swimsuit and then the computer told me that it was backordered. Not only was it backordered in black; it was also backordered in emerald, red and pink. It will not ship until May 24th so Memorial Day weekend at the beach will be spent watching the festivities from the sidelines, unless I can dig in my drawer and find something suitable.

I hate that you go through the whole ordering process only to find out at the end of the process that your swimsuit is currently being harvested from some spandex field in Thailand or something. I started over several times with many different swimsuits and came to the conclusion that every swimsuit is backordered until about October, so it was pointless. I had no idea there was a worldwide shortage of appropriate swimsuit material. Someone should really be looking into this and making women aware in December so we could plan ahead. I’m just going to have to take my chances that the one I want will come in early or just deal.

I also had to call VS this morning to ask a question about sizing. I got a male customer service representative and he asked for the item number. Once he found my tankini, he exclaimed, "Ooh, that’s cute!" I mumbled something about hoping it would look as cute on me; and he saw an opportunity. "Oh, I’m sure it will. You’re hot! This is a camera phone."

Back in my college days, I probably would have blushed and then purchased about $300 worth of clothing and other crap I didn’t need and couldn’t afford. Today I said, "Yeah? Well if this was a camera phone, then you would know that I am still in my oversized pajamas, haven’t washed my hair in a few days, and I look and feel like crap." Then I coughed. I think he was convinced, because he laughed and then mumbled something about finding that sizing chart. He knew his cover was blown.

This morning, it may have taken me three hours to order my swimsuit, but at least all I ordered was a swimsuit and it might even be here by August.

This just in. . . Lindsay Lohan’s Mom is currently burning up the phone lines trying to get the co-host job on The View. Was there ever more of a reason to email Barbara for me????