September 21, 2007

Happy to Hurt

I am working harder than I have ever worked. I am sore for days after each class I attend, and then pile on more soreness with each subsequent class. I am loving the hard work and the learning. I also have a feeling I’m going to love putting a swimsuit on next year.

We have one of those Tanita body fat scales at home. I personally have hated the thing for all the years we have owned it. You program in that you’re a man of my height, stand on the scale and it says your body fat percentage is about 2%. You program the same height, but now also program in that you’re a woman, and you’re suddenly a third fat. It’s not cool. I know it programs it differently for a man and a woman, but when both sexes have two feet, legs, arms, and one head, then what’s the deal with that?

You’ve seen pictures. I’m a skinny girl, so thin in fact that I was frequently accused of having an eating disorder during high school and even into adulthood. I once told my Mom that I was going to tell my aunt who is always quizzing me about my weight that "Yes, I am a bulimic. . . (wait for her shock and horror to set in). . . I just forget to throw up." I love food entirely too much to avoid it and or barf it. Plus, it’s not healthy and stuff, but this isn’t a public service announcement, so moving right along. . .

The other day as I was getting into the shower, I thought "why not?" and hopped onto that scale. I usually just kick the 5th option and have it give me my weight only. Body weight has proven to be much less depressing than body fat percentage. Anyway, a number flashed back at me that almost made me fall over (I won’t say it because I don’t want to brag or anything). I will just say that it is the lowest body fat percentage that I have EVER recorded on that scale; and I attribute it entirely to the hoards of kicks we’ve been doing (seriously-like at least an hour and a half of kicking tonight), the insane amount of jumping jacks, the push-ups, the crunches and everything that comes before, after, and in between.

I have been trying to soak up everything I can during the past few weeks. I know that in time it will sink in and be absorbed completely. Right now though, I’m just kicking this body back into shape the old fashioned way, with lots of sweat and hard work. Feels good.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on September 21, 2007 in Tales from the dojo | 11 Comments

September 19, 2007

It’s the Little Things

I was exhausted from dealing with a sick toddler, so when I got to karate last night I was already dragging. To top it off, last night was probably one of the toughest classes I have ever done. I thought it was just because I’m still getting back into shape, but the consensus after class seemed to be the same: we worked.

We spent a lot of time in stances: seisan, nai hanchi, fudo dachi, cat stance, etc. By the end of the two hours, my legs were feeling like lead. It was the perfect time to start another bout of "brown belt syndrome." There is just so much to know, so much to learn, and so much to prepare.

I never realized how much was involved with getting into a proper nai hanchi stance before. I didn’t realize that you were supposed to drop your weight, reach out with your foot, and then transfer your weight into nai hanchi. I also never thought about curling your hips up under your body to make a proper stance. It makes a huge difference in your stance, just doing that one thing.

So you take just those two minor things and then think about transferring them into every single thing you do. Every kata that you thought you knew you’re now adding to. This is nothing new. As you learn, you’re constantly adapting and adding new things into your kata, your stances, your overall technique. Maybe it’s the six week break, but I’m feeling like there aren’t enough hours in the day to work on everything I need to work on.

It doesn’t help that my neck is feeling more sore than usual, which is just so frustrating. I don’t want to hurt; and I don’t want to take anymore time off. Yes, this is a dichotomy that makes perfect sense to me (if you recall my syndromes post). I have appointments coming up with my chiropractor and massage therapist and I’m hoping they can get me fixed up again and fast.

We also worked on self defense last night. It’s not like riding a bicycle. If you don’t do it, you start to lose it. I was fine with wrist grabs and lapel grabs. But when one black belt came up and choked me, I didn’t react, I thought about it instead. Thinking is not good when you have just seconds to get those hands off your neck. I got him off by twisting his one hand off my neck, but I had parts of all these other techniques floating around in there and just didn’t move fast enough.

When I came home last night I could barely life my legs up the stairs, but I took about 15 minutes and worked through some different self defense scenarios with Mr. BBM. I need to make it part of my routine if I want these techniques to just be there inside of me, without thought.

***A long-time reader, commenter, and internet friend Deryck is having a very rough time of it lately. His daughter Persephone has been in the hospital for quite some time and is very sick. If you’re the praying type, please remember Persephone and her family as they could use all the prayers they can get right now.

***Thanks to KarateKim for making a donation to the Humane Society. It’s not too late. If you’d like to help out too, see the left sidebar or click here.

***My other blog, Birth Story, is in desperate need of some new material. If you’re a mother, father, whatever, and you have a birth story to share, please see the submission guidelines on Birth Story and send it on in! I know I have a lot of male readers; and I’d love to have birth stories from the daddy perspective, so please get writing!!!

***Hey ladies, are you in the market for new shoes? See that ad over there on the right hand side from RYKA? Well, they really are giving away shoes, because I registered and won a pair of $70 sneakers! WOO HOO! What are you waiting for? If I can win (the person who wins nothing-evah) then you can definitely win.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on September 19, 2007 in Tales from the dojo | 11 Comments

September 18, 2007

Love Letters

I wanted to throw my remote through my TV, my computer out the window, and put my foot through the wall. Instead, I figured I’d vent my frustration here. To steal Sarah’s line, "To some of you, this will sound like blah, blah, blah," but for those of you who know anything about fantasy football, you will feel my pain. If you have the same players I do, you will feel it so much that it will be physical pain.

Dear Reggie Brown (Phila. WR),

How are you today? Trust me, you’re better than I am today. You see, last night you were my only hope, sort of like my Obi-Wan Kenobi. I needed seven points. SEVEN. Instead you gave me two. TWO!!! Seven is not that difficult to manage. Those points could have come in the form of one touchdown pass and ten receiving yards. Or, forget the scoring altogether. Seventy receiving yards would have been sufficient. It’s not all that difficult to do. If Larry Fitzgerald can do that with Matt Leinart throwing at him, certainly you can manage that with Donovan McNabb throwing to you, right? Of course, I do realize that it’s not all your fault. Trust me when I say that McNabb is also getting a "love letter" from me today. So, because of your abysmal performance for the last two weeks, you will be benched this weekend. Please take this as an opportunity to further rest, because if you score on my bench, you’re not even going to want to open the envelope of my next letter.

Sincere-NOT-ly,
BBM (formerly of team BBM-now renamed Team Sucks)

Dear Donovan McNabb:

You’re not even on my team, but I felt I would be remiss if I didn’t write you as well. What is up with you and your lousy passing??? Reggie can not catch the ball with his feet. He does NOT have go-go-gadget arms either. A thrown pass should be just that, a thrown pass, not a hurtling through the universe rocket. It’s back to basics for you this week McNabb. Get some practice throwing a catchable ball. Oh, and who the heck is Jason Avant??? What does a top WR have to do to get some more action from you? Take you to dinner? A movie? What? You tell me and I’ll pass it along to Reggie.

Yours in frustration,
BBM

Dear Ladainian Tomlinson (San Diego RB-5 lousy points):

Two years ago, you were on my team. You were awesome, right up until the fantasy football playoffs, where you decided to rest on the sidelines, killing my chances of winning. Thanks-not sure if I ever properly thanked you for that. Anyway, um, what’s up with the 18 carries for only 43 yards and NO scores, huh!?! You were my shoe-in, my one guarantee on a roster that otherwise sucks (like my new team name)! I am counting on you to get your running butt in gear next week. You are LT, for goodness sakes! Let’s see the LT that I know and love! I saw an ad that you’re featured in this week. It says, "Stoppable? Yes, I stop when I score." Prove it LT! PROVE IT! Do you know that I had to change my team logo from the Japanese characters that mean "Nintai" (Persevere), to this logo:

Help me take this team out of the crapper and restore some respect LT!

Yours in disgust,
BBM

Dear Maurice Jones-Drew (Jac RB-proud getter of a whopping 4 points):

Seriously. Can you please get your act together? You are KILLING me. KILLING ME!

Worst Regards,
BBM

Dear Deion Branch (Seattle WR-17 points ON MY BENCH!!!):

The week before, you did not catch a single pass. Not one. Nada. Now that you’re sitting on my bench, you give me 17 points. Do you realize that if I had played you, I would have won this week??? Instead I am sitting in the basement with Papa Bradstein. Good company and all, but I’d prefer to not be sitting on two losses. Do me a favor, will you? If you’re going to decide to show up again this week, can you please send me a memo or something?

Thanks NOT,
BBM

The good news is that I am sitting on two wins in one league, but it’s just plain embarrassing when you can’t manage a single win in your own league. As they say in fantasy football, there’s always next week. Feel free to add your "love letters" below, unless of course your players are awesome and you’ve made all the right decisions so far. In that case, keep your good news to yourself. No, seriously.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on September 18, 2007 in Fantasy Football | 11 Comments

September 17, 2007

Post About Tubbies? Guest Post Must Follow

Last week I wrote about the Teletubbies. Yes, the Teletubbies. I hit an all time low (I still like them though, just shh, don’t tell anyone). Anyway, I started thinking about asking someone to guest post. I mean, surely if I’m writing about the teletubbies, I could use some R & R.

So, today I bring you a guest post by a Sandan (3rd degree black belt) in Okinawan Kenpo Karate and Kobudo. He’s also a student of Muso Jikiden Eishin Ryu Kenjutsu (that’s Japanese weaponry for the non-Japanese-knowing folk). He also happens to be a former instructor and training partner, and a very good writer (if I do say so myself). So read, relax, and enjoy. Also, make sure you give him some love in the comments section when you’re done (we just might be able to get him to start his own blog!!!). I look forward to him joining us at our new school; but in the meantime, maybe he’ll be hanging out here, at the BBM lair occasionally. Now without further delay. . .

Jo: Weapon of Self-Defense for in the Home or at College
Matthew Apsokardu

Simplicity. That’s what effective self-defense is all about. In order to prepare ourselves for self-defense situations, we engage in a myriad of activities like creating action plans, increasing physical fitness, and practicing various techniques. But in the end, it is instinct that we rely on most. When instinct kicks in we utilize those actions which are most engrained in our psyche. Because of that visceral, adrenaline pumping reaction, I believe the Jo is the best weapon for self-defense in the home or dorm room.

Let’s start off with a basic definition. Generally speaking, the Jo is a four foot long wooden staff with no taper, as seen below –

Why is the Jo a good weapon for in the home?

The Jo is perfect for indoor use because it is an optimal length. Weapons like the Rokushakubo (six foot Bo) are far too long and would get caught on ceilings, surrounding furniture, etc. Furthermore, if an assailant breaking into your house manages to catch hold of the weapon, it would be difficult to generate a release, and by the time you figure something out, it’s too late. Let’s take a quick look at length comparisons –

As I mentioned, the Jo is significantly shorter than the Bo, but it is also longer than all the other weapons. An assailant wielding a short knife, machete, or baseball bat would be at an immediate length disadvantage. Until you can get your bearings and regain control of your emotions, staying out of the range of your attacker is of utmost importance.

Why use the Jo and not conventional weapons, like a gun or a knife?

The Jo is a better choice for various reasons. Let’s examine a knife first. The knife benefits from immediate cutting power and the fear it can instill in an attacker. However, in order to do damage with the knife, you must be very close. This can cause problems, especially if the attacker is stronger, faster, or has a longer weapon than you. If you are the least bit hesitant in striking your target, he will bash you with punishing physical blows and will gain control of your weapon, turning it on you. That being said, I do like the knife as a self-defense weapon. When used viciously, it can shred an opponent to ribbons. However, you have to gauge your own capacities – are you ready to cut and stab another human being?

Another problem with the knife arises in dorm rooms. If you are a student and keep a knife next to your bed or under your pillow, it had better not get discovered. Not only will your hall mates become afraid and anxious, they might also get authorities involved. You could be facing counseling, police attention, or more serious repercussions. The Jo, however, is a completely nondescript piece of wood – it could hypothetically be part of a desk you never finished assembling, or a closet rod that you didn’t need. No one will look twice as it rests unassumingly next to your headboard, and if a question does arise, there are plenty of good answers.

Now let’s look at Jo compared to a gun. The main reason I favor the Jo is simplicity. Most responsible homeowners keep there guns hidden away, unloaded, and with the safety on (especially if they have kids). Even if you have a gun nearby, you have to consider your emotional readiness to use it, just like a knife. For some people that’s no problem, but for most, the actual use of a gun results in hesitation and self-doubt.

Let’s just run a quick scenario. You’re sleeping quietly in your room with your significant other lying next to you. The door is about 6 feet away. You hear the doorknob rattling and it brings you out of sleep into a groggy state. Suddenly a black clothed man charges into the room…

…and now he is on you, striking you repeatedly.

Did you have time to retrieve your gun, switch the safety off, cock it (if necessary), aim it, and then fire? The same situation arises if the attacker is coming through the window. Now what if you had a Jo resting by your head? As the robber throws the door open you reach back and grab the Jo, and as he charges, you swing it, striking him in the head from four feet away. He stumbles back and now you’re very awake. You strike him in the hand so that he releases his weapon and then in the head again, knocking him out.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t own a gun or knife or anything like that, but the speed and distance of the Jo is ideal for situations that require quick reactions. If you hear a noise a few rooms away and have a minute or two to prepare a firearm (and you’ve assessed your willingness to use it), then a gun is certainly useful; but it’s very risky to rely solely on that.

If we go back to dorm rooms, guns are completely unacceptable. If you are found with a gun, the repercussions will be much worse than if you have a knife. Consider another scenario – if you’re a woman in college, self-defense situations are very real. One of your roommates might invite a couple of “friends” over for a party. One of those male friends might decide he wants to take advantage of you. Being weaponless in this scenario is very undesirable. Many women carry around small containers of mace, and that’s a good thing. However, the problem of reaction time and adrenaline arises again. If you are lucky enough to have the mace handy and not buried at the bottom of a book bag or purse, you have to point it in the right direction, make sure the safety mechanism is disengaged, and then fire into your attacker’s eyes (hoping it doesn’t get into your eyes as well). That’s a lot of contingencies.

An attack like this will likely occur on or near your bed. If you have a Jo sitting by your headboard, your attacker will unexpectedly receive a quick strike to the face, followed by one to the groin, before he gets a chance to put his hands on you and overpower you. Or if he is already on top of you, all you need is that one free hand to reach up, grab the Jo, and bash the butt-end of it into his face, leaving you with room to strike him further as he reels back.

Other Reasons to Like the Jo

Versatility. Tack that onto simplicity. The Jo can be used in a wide swinging motion, or a thrusting motion, or a throwing motion, and both ends can be utilized. No matter how you grab the Jo, it’s ready for action. Furthermore, it is more inherently useful than other martial art weapons. The Sai, Tunfa, Kama, etc. all have a higher learning curve. With just a little bit of training, the Jo can be nightmare for any attacker. Finally, the Jo is not a risk to children in your household. Far too often we hear about accidents where young ones cut or shoot themselves.

Get a Jo Today

You don’t have to go to Japan to get a Jo, just Home Depot. They sell dowel rods for four dollars that are cut almost exactly to four feet. Select a dowel that is at least one inch in diameter, and check the wood for any cracks or knots. Buy some sandpaper too. When you get it home, sand down the ends so that they are rounded, then sand the entire staff. If you can find a competent instructor who is familiar with Jo, try to include it in your training. At night, leave the Jo resting by your headboard, and if you are going to college or have kids that are, be sure to send them off with one.

Matthew Apsokardu can be contacted at mapsokardu@gmail.com.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on September 17, 2007 in Action Plans | 7 Comments

September 13, 2007

No No NOO-NOO!

I very well may lose your respect in my first paragraph, but I have to say it. . . I like the Teletubbies. I know they’re odd. They have ridiculous names (Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa, and Po); they have television screens for bellies, and they talk weird. I get it, but my girls just adore them (and so do I). Shh, don’t tell ANYONE!

A few short week ago, Lil C was terrified of the vacuum cleaner. In a split level home with six levels to be vacuumed, this is a serious problem. I was practically throwing my back out every time I had to run the vacuum because Lil C took up prime real estate on my hip for the duration.

Then one day, I had a brilliant idea.

"Lil C" I said, "our vacuum is just like the Teletubbies Noo-Noo!" We watched a couple episodes on Tivo where the happy little Noo-Noo gladly followed around the Teletubbies and cleaned up their tubby custard spills and their tubby toast crumbs. I took her over to our vacuum and told her, "This is our Noo-Noo. See, Noo-Noo’s are nice. They don’t want to vacuum up little girls or toys, just dirt. They like to clean up dirt."

"Noo-Noo," she said smiling. It was totally working.

I sat her on the sofa with her posse of stuffed animals and told her I was going to turn the Noo-Noo on. She looked nervous; but instead of screaming like she had in the past, she squeezed Elmo a little tighter and just sat there watching the "Noo-Noo" do its thing. It was a total and complete success.

"Noo-Noo cleanin’ up," she’d say. "Noo-Noo no like toyses," she’d repeat like a mantra. I had successfully eased her fear of the dreaded vacuum. And then today happened.

We were watching an afternoon episode of the Teletubbies when something crazy happened. The Noo-Noo, always a perfectly behaved little vacuum cleaner, completely and totally lost it. Instead of cleaning up tubby custard, the Noo-Noo literally ate Laa Laa’s ball.

"OH NO!" Lil C yelled, looking at me like she’d just had the shock of the century. Then the Noo-Noo proceeded to eat Dipsy’s hat.

"What HAP END? Oh NOOOO!" she yelled louder.

"Oh NO, Pack back!" she screamed in anticipation of the Noo-Noo eating Tinky Winky’s bag for dessert, and that’s exactly what the Noo-Noo did.

She walked around the living room like her entire world had just crumbled around her. "It’s o.k." I said, "The Noo-Noo is just being silly. Silly Noo-Noo." But the show ended and there was no vacuum regurgitation or bag changing that I saw.

In an attempt to end the Teletubby experience with a good memory, I quickly found an episode on our DVR and fast forwarded to the Noo-Noo part. To my shock and horror (and to Lil C’s as well), the Noo-Noo approached each sleeping Teletubby and sucked their blankets right off of their colorful rotund bodies.

Lil C spent the rest of the day telling me "Oh NO Noo-Noo! Noo-Noo eat blanket. Noo-Noo eat ball. Noo-Noo Dipsy’s hat! Oh NO NOO-NOO! What HAP END?"

I really need to vacuum tomorrow and I have a feeling we’re going back to the drawing board. Thanks a LOT Noo-Noo!