Back to Basics with Whitney
As I was driving home from class tonight, I couldn’t help but think of that Whitney Houston song from many years ago. You know the one, because you’ve probably had a singing session with it in the shower or car at some point when you were sure no one was listening. Don’t deny it; I know I can’t be the only one.
"I have nothing, nothing, nothing. . . if I don’t have you-oooo-oooo."
You know. Don’t act like you don’t.
No, I’m not getting all weepy over my husband or even my karate teachers or school. Instead of "have," I thought it rather appropriate to replace that word with "know."
"I know nothing, nothing, nothing. . . . DON’T. MAKE. ME. DO-ooh one more KATA! I don’t want to find another PROBLEM! Stay in my COMFORT ZONE-if you dare, or must I just imagine myself there. . . "
In case you’re wondering if all my life moments have a mental soundtrack that goes with them. . . yes, most do.
I asked my instructor a couple weeks ago if she would watch me do all my material, every kata I’m supposed to know up to this point, so that she could pick it apart. I wanted her help to nit-pick starting now, so that a month before black belt testing, I’m not panicking because there are all of these little things that have been piling up.
One of the classes I go to is packed with white and yellow belts, so the black belt class (where it is often just me and one or two other people) is the right time and place to start working on all the little nuances. Tonight, it was just me and my instructor on the floor. I started with my first kata, Nai Hanchi Shodan. The suggestions came from my instructor and from a black belt who has been taking a break and was just observing from the back: widen nai hanchi stance, push the knees out more, make that strike parallel, make sure not to double block from the inside, the leg lift needs to be out in front, not on the inside, etc. etc. etc.
All this from a kata I thought I knew like the back of my hand.
I have so much to work on. I’m so glad I’m starting now.
"I know nothing, nothing, NOTHING. . ."
In the beginning
Thanks to Dani and Becky for submitting questions. Man, either my blog is an open book and you know everything you ever wanted to about me, or you just don’t care to know any more. Either way, it’s all good. I answered Becky’s question via email. Dani’s could be an entire book. . .
Dani posed this question: What inspired/motivated you to start karate, and what inspires you to continue?
When I was growing up, I always thought it would be cool to know karate. I thought that you went to a karate school and you learned all kinds of secret things, like if you push your finger on a person’s knee at just the right spot, they would fall over in pain and die.
The problem was that I was so busy with field hockey, softball, athletic training, student council, french club, ping-pong club (yes you heard me correctly), lousy boyfriends, playing the saxophone, etc. etc. etc. that I really didn’t have time to even look into the possibility of taking karate classes. I didn’t know a single person who took karate and I knew next to nothing about it.
When I went to college, I was required to take physical education credits. Karate was an option and I was very interested in taking the course. But then I heard that the final exam for the class was walking through the streets of Pittsburgh and being randomly attacked by people they had throughout the streets and that scared the living daylights out of me. Instead, I took a life guarding refresher class so I would be able to have a cool job the next summer, and then followed that with a dance class that I failed (That’s an entirely different post).
As a volunteer PEER Educator on my college campus, I spoke to many people about rape and sexual assault through those years. Every once in a while we would have seminars on campus where we would bring in these awesome martial artists who would do demonstrations on fighting off knife attacks, gun attacks and other unpleasantries. I thought it was so cool, but I was really busy with college classes, work, and Mr. BBM. So, I continued my years in college hearing about these karate classes and wanting to take them so badly, but I was just too busy and honestly too afraid. I bought a big can of mace instead.
There were a great many years that followed college: grad school, moving to DE, moving to PA, moving to NJ, moving back to PA and I never even gave karate a thought.
Then I had Big I.
I always had these things I like to call "action plans." I think about a potentially bad scenario like a fire in my house or an attacker in a parking lot and I create a plan in my head as to what I would do. Some people might call that a mental illness; I call it being prepared. For as long as I can remember, I have always thought about these types of things.
I began thinking about them more and more after I had my first daughter. What if someone attacked me while I was putting her in her car seat? What if someone tried to take my daughter?
Then my husband took a job where he was traveling constantly and my mental illness action plans took on a whole new life. I walked through parking lots with my keys sticking out between my fingers; I formulated plans for a break-in when I was by myself with the baby. I felt scared and powerless and I didn’t like it one bit.
When Big I turned three she wanted to go to Princess Camp. It was a summer full of princess activities and her friend/neighbor wanted to go as well. Each week, we would go early and watch Big I’s friend take karate classes before we would eat dinner and the girls would take Princess Camp. Big I loved watching her friend wear sparring gear and learn to kick and punch.
It was at the end of one of these classes that the instructors came out and started talking to all the observers and parents. Apparently, the dance school was growing and they didn’t have room for the karate classes anymore. I was disappointed because Big I had just started expressing an interest in starting karate and I was more than happy to switch out Princess Camp for Karate.
To make a long conversation short, I found out about my dojo through the instructors and a group of us decided that we would enroll our kids in the karate school and that we, the parents, would also start classes. We began as a great group with three families, each with one kid taking karate. Now, Big I and I are the only ones left from our group.
Karate sort of fell into my lap. I’d always had this interest, but it wasn’t something I sought out. It sort of found me at just the right time. Karate helps me create workable action plans, feel more confident, and it keeps me centered in a way I never imagined it would or could. I wanted to take karate for so many reasons, but the reason that I continue to go and be motivated today is because karate has become such a huge part of who I am and who I want to be.
I get lots of hits on this site from people searching for the fastest way to a black belt and the styles with the least amount of requirements to get to black belt. It really surprises me because when I started I never imagined I’d be anywhere close to getting a black belt. That was never why I started. When I first started going I thought that it would be really cool if I could become a green belt some day. I didn’t know what being a green belt meant. Heck, I didn’t know what being a white belt meant. All I knew is that I felt pretty cool when I ran in to the pizza shop to pick up a pie wearing my gi.
It’s funny because as a white belt I knew how to get out of a basic wrist grab and I thought I was invincible. I wanted to flaunt that I took karate. I remember that when our group got our yellow belts, we wanted to wear them out in public. We felt all big and bad. Now, I don’t wear my gi anywhere unless it’s just to run into the store quickly. And I never wear the gi jacket, only the pants. I figure most people probably just think I’m wearing scrubs anyway. I don’t flaunt it because I don’t want to invite trouble, and because I don’t have to wear my gi to show my karate anymore. It comes from within, and the knowledge and confidence that I’ve developed from karate is just a part of me now, not defined by some exterior uniform or color on a belt.
When I miss a class or two (like this week since I’ve decided to keep my germs to myself), things don’t feel right. Even when we’re working on something intimidating like blindfolded self defense, I leave the dojo afterwards feeling refreshed and calm. I can’t imagine not doing karate. I think I will probably be one of those 80-year old women still doing kata and showing kids how its done. At least, that’s what I hope I’ll be some day, a long time from now.
I started karate to calm the action plans; but I continue because it’s who I am and I can’t imagine my life without it.
2nd Kyu
Testing was this morning; promotions are later in the week. I passed my test for 2nd kyu-two black stripes on my brown belt.
There were about 22 people testing today, mostly white belts going for second stripes or yellow belts. We have such a large group right now. When I started there was a decent sized group too, but my groups’ numbers have dropped tremendously. Some people moved; some people quit. After green and brown belts people seem to start dropping like flies.
There is a lot to remember as you move up in the ranks. Thankfully, I remembered it all today, which was a nice change from last time.
Today was the first time that I didn’t really get nervous at testing. I think that the blindfolded self defense was a big confidence builder for me and it gave me a boost I needed.
The one white belt who was an attacker the other night was testing for his yellow belt today. I asked him if his finger was o.k. from when I cracked it pretty good. He said his finger was fine; it was his knees that were hurting him. I had no recollection of hurting anyone’s knees so I asked him what I did. He told me that when he grabbed the front of my gi with both hands, I peeled him off and took him down unexpectedly. I told him I didn’t even realize I had done that, and told him I was sorry. He said it was no big deal. I have to admit I am feeling pretty good about the fact that I took a big guy down without even realizing it. It’s funny how your body just does things without you even realizing it. Muscle memory is so cool.
So testing is finished and I’ll have a new black stripe to add to my collection. There’s only one more test before black belt. I’ve got a lot of work to do.
It doesn’t have to be pretty
At karate tonight, I had an opportunity to face one of my very worst fears. For my 1st kyu test, I will need to do self defense while blindfolded. I’m a little claustrophobic to begin with, and the idea of having people just come up and grab you when you can’t see them is a little nerve-wracking to say the least. Our instructor looked around our dojo tonight, saw the large group of 12 we had and decided that tonight was a perfect night to give it a shot.
Most of the white belts became observers while the black belts and I took turns being attacked. The group of attackers consisted of my 3rd dan male black belt instructor, two other black belts (one male, one female), me, a male white belt who is big, strong and scary and a female white belt who is the little sister of my instructor (in other words-has been beat on for many years so she’s quite a formidable opponent herself).
My instructor went first. I thought he was going to do basic techniques, but he continued the counter-attack until most of us were on the ground and in pain. At one point, I was tangled up on the ground with my wrist twisted so severely that I had no choice but to start tapping the ground. It was either that or scream. (I’m trying to work on the whole girly screaming thing.)
The male black belt went next and he did a great job too. Plus he saved me the humiliation of having to go after my instructor. Thank you Mr. W!
Then it was my turn. I was a nervous wreck. These attacks were not gentle attacks. They were coming with a decent amount of force and the attackers weren’t just letting go. I was so nervous that I wouldn’t be able to get out of something. But what choice did I have? I tried to tell them that I needed to go make an important call, but no one bought it.
It felt like eternity before the first attack came. I could hear the attackers walking in a circle around me and it was unsettling hearing the gi’s swish and move, not knowing where the first attack would come from. I thought they would start off with a gentle wrist grab or something to break in the brown belt, but that was not the case. I think the first attack was a forearm choke. I got out of it and tried to compose myself again. The attacks that followed included a hair pulling from behind, chokes from the front and back, bear hugs, wrist grabs, lapel grabs, a joint-locked elbow that took me to my knees before I could get out, a double-wrist grab from behind with pulling, full nelsons, etc. etc.
I tried to think about nothing. I didn’t want to anticipate the next attack or over think the previous one. Sometimes I got frustrated when I couldn’t get out at first, but when something didn’t work I tried to change it up until I found something that did. I took a deep breath after each attack to try to clear it away and prepare for the next one.
It wasn’t pretty, but as my instructors always say, "It doesn’t have to be pretty; it just has to work." At one point, I cracked the white belt’s finger pretty good. There was just no other way to get out of it. I wasn’t the only one who went after the towering white belt. The other black belt girl pulled his hair really good at one point. He’s a formidable opponent now; he’s going to be wicked good when he gets up in the ranks.
When I was finished my instructor said I did a good job and that what I did would certainly pass the 1st kyu test. He said the only difference between doing a good job and doing a really good job is eliminating the brief hesitation I had at the on-set of some of the attacks. I have to stop thinking about it and just start doing it.
One of the white belt women who watched came up to me after class and told me she thought I did an amazing job. It felt really good to get some praise over something that I was so unsure about at the beginning of class.
I know it wasn’t perfect, but I also know that on the street I wouldn’t be limiting myself to the techniques I used tonight. I’d also be throwing elbows, punches, and strategic kicks (if you know what and where I mean).
I’m reading a book right now called, "Living the Martial Way" and it is a fabulous read for any martial artist. I just read last night about how you should seek out the biggest, toughest person at the dojo to train against because it will only make you better. In the book, the author also talks about how you should know what it feels like to be attacked with a decent amount of force so you can find out how you’ll react. He says it is an essential part of the martial arts training if you want me be considered a true warrior and a true martial artist.
My instructor definitely put those two suggestions to good use tonight; and the feeling that I had driving home from class and writing this now is nothing short of euphoric. I know I can improve, but what I did tonight was a really good start.
All systems are a go
I pre-tested tonight. The week before kyu testing, we all run through all our material (kata’s, weapons, waza’s, etc.) to make sure we know what we’re doing. Our instructor has to give us the o.k. to show up at testing. It saves time at testing, and allows the instructors to see what your material looks like when you’re not a nervous wreck.
Testing this weekend is supposed to be huge. We have a large number of white belts testing for their next stripe, some yellow belts going for green, some greens testing for stripes and two brown belts looking for their next stripes (myself included).
Pre-testing went well. Kata feels different in a heavyweight gi. Punches and kicks snap, and with the bo there’s a huge difference too.
If all goes well this weekend, I will be a 2nd kyu, which means only one more test before black belt testing. If I make it to black belt testing, I’m finally be living up to my namesake here.
And while we’re on the subject of karate, I had one of my proudest moments as a Mommy yesterday. Lil C heard me talking about karate and going to class, and out of the blue she said
Dojo.
It was clear as day and she’s been saying "dojo" (which means school for training) almost as much as she says, "Kitty, me-aw." It’s pretty exciting. In utero karate training really has its benefits.
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