March 1, 2007

It doesn’t have to be pretty

At karate tonight, I had an opportunity to face one of my very worst fears.  For my 1st kyu test, I will need to do self defense while blindfolded.  I’m a little claustrophobic to begin with, and the idea of having people just come up and grab you when you can’t see them is a little nerve-wracking to say the least.  Our instructor looked around our dojo tonight, saw the large group of 12 we had and decided that tonight was a perfect night to give it a shot. 

Most of the white belts became observers while the black belts and I took turns being attacked.  The group of attackers consisted of my 3rd dan male black belt instructor, two other black belts (one male, one female), me, a male white belt who is big, strong and scary and a female white belt who is the little sister of my instructor (in other words-has been beat on for many years so she’s quite a formidable opponent herself).

My instructor went first.  I thought he was going to do basic techniques, but he continued the counter-attack until most of us were on the ground and in pain.  At one point, I was tangled up on the ground with my wrist twisted so severely that I had no choice but to start tapping the ground.  It was either that or scream.  (I’m trying to work on the whole girly screaming thing.)

The male black belt went next and he did a great job too.  Plus he saved me the humiliation of having to go after my instructor.  Thank you Mr. W!

Then it was my turn.  I was a nervous wreck.  These attacks were not gentle attacks.  They were coming with a decent amount of force and the attackers weren’t just letting go.  I was so nervous that I wouldn’t be able to get out of something.  But what choice did I have? I tried to tell them that I needed to go make an important call, but no one bought it. 

It felt like eternity before the first attack came.  I could hear the attackers walking in a circle around me and it was unsettling hearing the gi’s swish and move, not knowing where the first attack would come from.  I thought they would start off with a gentle wrist grab or something to break in the brown belt, but that was not the case.  I think the first attack was a forearm choke.  I got out of it and tried to compose myself again.  The attacks that followed included a hair pulling from behind, chokes from the front and back, bear hugs, wrist grabs, lapel grabs, a joint-locked elbow that took me to my knees before I could get out, a double-wrist grab from behind with pulling, full nelsons, etc. etc. 

I tried to think about nothing.  I didn’t want to anticipate the next attack or over think the previous one.  Sometimes I got frustrated when I couldn’t get out at first, but when something didn’t work I tried to change it up until I found something that did.  I took a deep breath after each attack to try to clear it away and prepare for the next one. 

It wasn’t pretty, but as my instructors always say, "It doesn’t have to be pretty; it just has to work."  At one point, I cracked the white belt’s finger pretty good. There was just no other way to get out of it.  I wasn’t the only one who went after the towering white belt.  The other black belt girl pulled his hair really good at one point.  He’s a formidable opponent now; he’s going to be wicked good when he gets up in the ranks. 

When I was finished my instructor said I did a good job and that what I did would certainly pass the 1st kyu test.  He said the only difference between doing a good job and doing a really good job is eliminating the brief hesitation I had at the on-set of some of the attacks.  I have to stop thinking about it and just start doing it. 

One of the white belt women who watched came up to me after class and told me she thought I did an amazing job.  It felt really good to get some praise over something that I was so unsure about at the beginning of class. 

I know it wasn’t perfect, but I also know that on the street I wouldn’t be limiting myself to the techniques I used tonight.  I’d also be throwing elbows, punches, and strategic kicks (if you know what and where I mean).

I’m reading a book right now called, "Living the Martial Way" and it is a fabulous read for any martial artist.  I just read last night about how you should seek out the biggest, toughest person at the dojo to train against because it will only make you better.  In the book, the author also talks about how you should know what it feels like to be attacked with a decent amount of force so you can find out how you’ll react.  He says it is an essential part of the martial arts training if you want me be considered a true warrior and a true martial artist. 

My instructor definitely put those two suggestions to good use tonight; and the feeling that I had driving home from class and writing this now is nothing short of euphoric.  I know I can improve, but what I did tonight was a really good start.      

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Posted by on March 1, 2007 in Tales from the dojo | 7 Comments

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