Sparring Fool
I don’t know why I bothered to wash my hair today, or shower for that matter. Big I’s t-ball practice was canceled tonight so we went to both karate classes. We got there a little late, so while we were changing in the locker room, I heard my instructor mention sparring and my name. I can’t lie. I looked up to see if there was a vent I could crawl through Jack Bauer style. I looked to the back to see if maybe behind that shelf there had an emergency exit hiding behind it, because this certainly qualified as an emergency. I hate to spar and did he say my name and "good she’s here" and "lead a ring"? God, I really hope not. But I think he did. Panic!!!!
When I emerged from the locker room I told the waiting white belts and my instructor that if I had known what he was up to for this class, I never would have showed up. They all laughed; I was serious.
When I heard "lead a ring" I was assuming that my role would be supervisory. It wasn’t. White belts aren’t really supposed to spar other white belts. They’re supposed to spar higher belts. One of those would be me.
We warmed up with stretches and some kata and then everyone geared up and hung out on the side of the dojo. There were a ton of white belts in class tonight, 11 I think. My instructor made sure he went over the ground rules and stressed that he and I were not there to beat on them, but to help them learn (I thought "Good, because then they won’t be expecting much from me.")
My instructor and I split the dojo and took one at a time for a minute and 30 seconds each. I joked that I would only take opponents who were obi (belt) high. That worked out for a while. I sparred the little girls who are friends with Big I and a little boy who had a killer good stance. I also sparred Big I.
Wow! Let me tell you, the days of her being all "I don’t want to hit anyone because I don’t want to hurt anyone" are over. It wasn’t just me either. She went at our instructor with these wild punches and shin kicks too. Thank goodness for shin guards. I have to tell you that I was very impressed with her. The family sparring in the basement has obviously been beneficial for her.
If only it had been beneficial for me. I did fine against the 5 and 6-year olds. Really, I was just putting out slow punches and lingering kicks to see what they’d do with them and try to help them out a bit.
It’s always the pre-teens who give me the most trouble. I don’t know what it is about boys that age and the female chest area, but they are not kind. One boy was very aggressive, but just continued to wallop me in the derriere at full force. When he connected in the gut, I spoke up. When I got nailed in the chest by the black belt kid last year, I was too shy to speak up; but this time I felt it was my duty. Once that kick goes a little higher it’s going to be trouble for any lady-parts that are in the dojo.
I told him to use control, and showed him how every time he walloped me in the butt, I was able to back fist him in the head. He had a strong kick but left himself wide open when those arms swung back instead of staying out front.
When I sparred the adults, one of them was a guy about 6’5". I expected him to pound on me. But he was tentative and careful in his movements (much to my relief). I told him that with his height there was no reason he couldn’t hit me in the head every time (I know because that’s what Mr. BBM does to me every time). By the end of our brief session he was connecting.
Another teenage girl has these ridiculously long and flexible legs. She just throws these high kicks out there but she needs to get her distancing down. She’s also quick to bring that leg back and down, when she has the ability to throw it up there again right away. I told her to go for the stomach and then throw a kick up to the head. By the end of our session, I was kind of wishing I hadn’t told her about that.
After each white belt had sparred twice, it was time for class to end. My instructor had other ideas. "I guess there’s only one match left" he said smiling. At this point I was ready for a cold shower and a gallon of water.
I trudged over, bowed, hit gloves and prepared to be beaten. With the entire white belt crew and parents as the audience, I did the best I could.
But it was not good enough. I threw up kicks to block his. . .and they didn’t really work. I threw punches out. . . and missed my moving target. I got distracted by this freaky hand thing he was doing. . . and took a bunch of shots to the head and stomach. It wasn’t about beating me down; I connected from time to time, but I have so much more to learn. I like sparring with my instructor though, because it motivates me to work harder at it.
I also have to keep in mind that he’s been doing karate for 11 years to my three. Yep, that sort of makes me feel better. Sort of.
What I need is a private lesson with some freeze action where someone stops me in the middle and tells me, "No, not like that. Do THIS!". Maybe I’ll have to talk to my instructor about doing that sometime.
The most mind-blowing thing about the whole night is that I found it fairly easy to watch what the white belts were doing and give them some tips to improve. It was fun, and I enjoyed it greatly. I just really wish I would be able to apply that same magnifying glass to myself so I could see what I’m doing and improve.
Regardless of my performance, I’ve found that a dose of humor does a lot to make sparring easier. Thanking my instructor for the concussion(s), and joking that I need a CT scan is much easier than looking at your sweaty self in the mirror and saying, "Boy, I really sucked tonight."
Back to work.
An Inspiration to All (Or Not)
Apparently I’m inspiring. Readers used to tell me this back when I first started this blog, based on my trying Mat’s killer workout. But now it seems it’s for my words. When I wrote about how I started my journey in the martial arts, readers responded by emailing me and commenting away. It’s funny because whatever inspiration I’ve been to others, I’ve always sort of felt its the other way around. When I’m in one of my karate depressions, it’s my readers who lift me up and push me to keep going and improve. It’s been very enjoyable and rejuvenating when I’ve needed it most.
Now the inspiration has gone to a whole new level in the form of this:
If you can’t read the writing, you can click on the shirt and go to the site for more details. A very nice person emailed me and told me that my post about why I started karate inspired her to make this t-shirt. It says, "Karate: it comes from within." It doesn’t just come in blue. My words have got an entire line y’all. Oh yeah. Today, my complimentary t-shirt came in the mail, along with a cool pin for my karate bag that Big I has got her eye on.
The woman who designed the shirt and thanked me for my inspiration has two sons who are involved in the martial arts and she started her own martial arts t-shirt and other products store.
Now if I can just get her to make me a "Black Belt Mama" shirt so that I can outfit you, all of my inspirational "fans". I’m sure that will quickly be followed by Dooce-like fame, followed by a sitcom (or a drama depending upon my mood), which will be followed by a book and then a taken-from-the-book blockbuster movie.
It starts with a t-shirt; I’m going to be a star. . .
Of course, counter this with the fact that I now know why every black belt says that once you become Shodan you can only then finally start learning karate. You become a beginner at Shodan because all the stuff that comes after is a nightmare. The 11 open hand kata’s and eight weapons kata’s I have to learn to test for Shodan are mere warm-ups. I have seen the great beyond and it is not pretty, or easy.
I consider myself to be a fairly fast learner. I can usually follow along with a kata without much of a problem. But tonight, as we ran through open hand kata’s that I can’t even pronounce I actually stopped mid-stream and declared that I was giving up and would just watch.
In order for me to complete the kata, I would have needed a black belt in front of me, behind me, to the left and to the right, preferably with mirrors on all four sides as well. There was just so much turning and so many angles and all these crazy punches and hand movements and blech. I was just horrible. I couldn’t even follow along.
Sometimes you leave the dojo feeling fabulous about how you’ve done; and other times, like tonight, you come home and take a look at that t-shirt you just got in the mail, and wonder why the karate didn’t come from within tonight.
Syndromes
There are stages of learning karate that go along with the various belt colors. It doesn’t matter what style of the martial arts you study. I think these "syndromes" are universal; and yes, I have suffered through all of the following symptoms.
White Belt Syndrome
- After exactly one karate class, a white belt feels they will never move the way their instructor moves. They also simultaneously believe they can now kick anyone’s butt. It’s a dichotomy that makes perfect sense to the white belt.
- White belts are eager to learn, and see the journey to black belt as one big "To Do" list. The only thing that matters is learning the next thing, preferably advanced things, as quickly as possible. The faster you learn, the cooler you feel.
- White belts can’t understand why higher ranked belts forget kata’s. They will never forget a kata when they’re that high ranked. A white belt will remember everything.
Green Belt Syndrome
- A green belt is so shocked and surprised to find color around their waist that they immediately begin to feel unworthy. Despite the unworthy feeling, they feel incredibly proud to finally be green. This is also a dichotomy that makes perfect sense to the green belt.
- Because of this unworthy feeling, green belts feel that everything they do when in the presence of higher ranking belts completely sucks.
- Due to the sense of pride a green belt feels, they feel that everything they do while in the presence of lower ranking belts is totally awesome.
Brown Belt Syndrome
- A brown belt is so excited to finally be a brown belt. This excitement lasts for about one day before realizing that the next belt is a black one and OH MY GOD, I AM SO NOT READY FOR THAT! HOW WILL I EVER BE PREPARED IN TIME???? I NEED TO PREPARE NOW!!!
- The "To Do" list from the white belt days becomes the "I need to do that again" list as they realize everything they have forgotten over the past few years of study.
- The unworthy feeling is back because brown belts look at the black belts and think "I have so much more to learn and it can’t possibly be done in X amount of time."
Black Belt Syndrome (Of course I’ve only heard this exists and wouldn’t know from personal experience, although I hope to report back on this some day. . .)
- Although incredibly proud to be a black belt, one feels unworthy even more so and realizes that only now are they really ready to learn karate.
When I look back to the beginning of my martial arts journey, it’s like looking back at old yearbooks and laughing at your former hairstyle and clothing choices. The way I kicked, punched, and performed kata’s makes me want to cringe. I never saw it when I was a white belt. I knew I wasn’t doing things exactly like my instructor, but I was surely doing them well enough. Shudder.
When you get to be a brown belt and have been in the dojo for several years, you watch people come and go. You see those who are going to excel; and you get pretty good at picking those who will lose interest or drop out for other reasons. Your training mates drop like flies around you and don’t come back.
But above all else, you begin to look inside yourself. I have always been very athletic and have participated in or have played just about every sport: street hockey, tennis, field hockey, softball, track, powder puff football, etc. I wasn’t the top athlete, but I did well enough. Playing sports has always come pretty naturally for me.
Lately I’m feeling like the "Brown Belt Syndrome" is more than just a syndrome. What if I’m not good enough to get my black belt? Do the teachers sometimes shake their heads at me the way I do with Big I when she ends up in a heap on the floor after a snap kick? Am I someone that the lower ranked belts can look up to? Do I have good technique, or am I just going through the motions the way I was as a white belt?
I was in awe of a group of green and brown belts who moved up together through the ranks when I was just starting. Do the new white belts have that feeling about me; or do they think I’m just a Mom who started too late and tries too hard? Would anyone tell me if they didn’t think I was good enough?
I’ve been writing on this blog for over a year now and have chronicled my journey in the martial arts from green belt until now. It seems that every few months I go through one of these cycles of martial arts depression complete with self-doubt and disgust. If history repeats itself, then hopefully I’ll climb out of this hole soon.
When all the black belts gather
The black/brown belt class I’ve been attending for the past few months usually ends up being private/semi-private lessons for me. Tonight was a big switch. There were six black belts in attendance and one very clueless brown belt (that would be yours truly).
I’ve been feeling good lately because I am relatively close to knowing all the kata’s I need to know up to black belt testing. Tonight I got to see the great beyond.
In kobudo, there are four weapons needed up to black belt: one nunchaku kata, three bo kata’s, two tunfa kata’s and two sai kata’s. After that, things get crazy. There are two-man weapons kata’s, and a whole slew of new weapons to learn as well. Tonight I got a taste of some of the other weapons that I had only seen hanging on the wall before.
We worked on eiku and nunte bo kata’s tonight and although extremely confusing, it’s always fun to try something new. Eiku is like swinging around a large oar. It is heavy and awkward for someone who has no clue how to use the thing. For someone who bought a youth bo so that I would have something nice and light, this was a big switch for me. The neat thing about using these weapons is that you can see the history to the weapon, and easily know what its everyday use was and how it could be converted into a weapon if necessary.
Even more heavy than the eiku, was the nunte bo. I believe the intended use for this weapon was as a means to catch fish, Survivor style. The first time we ran through this kata, I just used my bo. One of my instructors gave me a nunte bo to give it a try the next time we ran through it and there is a big difference. The center of the nunte bo is completely different than on a traditional bo, and it is HEAVY. Forget Pilates; if I want to tone my arms, I’ll just need to start swinging around a nunte bo more often.
I also worked on bunkai a bit before class. For black belt testing, I’ll need to know basic bunkai for all of my kata’s. But I’ll need to have a showcase open hand and weapons kata that goes a bit beyond. I think that I’d really like to do a sai kata for my showcase bunkai. I’ve always really like the sai, and I feel comfortable with them which is important.
Of course, every time I thought I had a good handle on a weapon, I realized that I was in fact wrong. . . very, very wrong. So, we’ll see what happens.
I’m being too nice
Since Monday I’ve been working on my first kata, Nai Hanchi Shodan, every chance I get. I figured that if I’m going to go kata by kata and start fixing things, I might as well incorporate bunkai (application) into my practice as well.
Mr. BBM has been a great help to me with this and has been a fabulous uke. He has continued to stay a good sport, even when I demand that he come over and punch towards my face within minutes of him walking in the door from work, so that I can block and throw him around a bit. He didn’t even mind that much when I was experimenting with joint locks and completely wrenched his arm unintentionally while I was deep in thought.
The problem in working with him though is that when you’re first trying to work out the application, it goes very slowly. Slow kata means that you forget where you are in the kata as you go. So, I keep having to start from scratch, figure out where I’m at and then continue on. If he knew the kata he would be of greater assistance to me-yet another reason he needs to get his butt back to the dojo.
I’d been thinking about the bunkai for this kata all day today and when he walked in the door tonight from work I had to try it out. Instead of using a double block and back fist as simply a block against a punch, block against another punch, followed by a back fist to the head, I wanted to change it up a bit. I blocked his first punch, and then pulled the other arm up underneath and around his arm I just blocked, and then back across centerline so as to twist his arm up behind his back. Basic bunkai is cool enough, but finding a move in there that you didn’t know was there is even more exciting.
When I got to class tonight, I asked my instructor how one would do the back fist after that arm lock without it being awkward. So, we started off class with a basic bunkai demonstration for the first kata, followed by a not-so-basic demonstration that was really cool.
The other cool thing is that right as class was beginning, a black belt walked in, which meant he got to play the role of uke (i.e. person who gets thrown around), not me. Bonus.
When all was said and done and both demonstrations/explanations were finished I came to the conclusion that I am being entirely too nice to Mr. BBM. Kosa steps are not simply steps; they can be kicking the leg out from underneath someone. Bringing one’s hands back to an on guard position on the belt isn’t preparing for the next attacker; it can be breaking an attacker’s neck. I was shocked at how many kills there were in that kata and am now seeing it in a whole new light.
I think Mr. BBM will be seeing me in a whole new light after I try some of those moves on him too, like possibly the light that he’ll be staring up into when he’s found himself flat on his back with no warning(rubs hands together and evil laugh ensues).
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