April 12, 2007

Sparring Fool

I don’t know why I bothered to wash my hair today, or shower for that matter. Big I’s t-ball practice was canceled tonight so we went to both karate classes. We got there a little late, so while we were changing in the locker room, I heard my instructor mention sparring and my name. I can’t lie. I looked up to see if there was a vent I could crawl through Jack Bauer style. I looked to the back to see if maybe behind that shelf there had an emergency exit hiding behind it, because this certainly qualified as an emergency. I hate to spar and did he say my name and "good she’s here" and "lead a ring"? God, I really hope not. But I think he did. Panic!!!!

When I emerged from the locker room I told the waiting white belts and my instructor that if I had known what he was up to for this class, I never would have showed up. They all laughed; I was serious.

When I heard "lead a ring" I was assuming that my role would be supervisory. It wasn’t. White belts aren’t really supposed to spar other white belts. They’re supposed to spar higher belts. One of those would be me.

We warmed up with stretches and some kata and then everyone geared up and hung out on the side of the dojo. There were a ton of white belts in class tonight, 11 I think. My instructor made sure he went over the ground rules and stressed that he and I were not there to beat on them, but to help them learn (I thought "Good, because then they won’t be expecting much from me.")

My instructor and I split the dojo and took one at a time for a minute and 30 seconds each. I joked that I would only take opponents who were obi (belt) high. That worked out for a while. I sparred the little girls who are friends with Big I and a little boy who had a killer good stance. I also sparred Big I.

Wow! Let me tell you, the days of her being all "I don’t want to hit anyone because I don’t want to hurt anyone" are over. It wasn’t just me either. She went at our instructor with these wild punches and shin kicks too. Thank goodness for shin guards. I have to tell you that I was very impressed with her. The family sparring in the basement has obviously been beneficial for her.

If only it had been beneficial for me. I did fine against the 5 and 6-year olds. Really, I was just putting out slow punches and lingering kicks to see what they’d do with them and try to help them out a bit.

It’s always the pre-teens who give me the most trouble. I don’t know what it is about boys that age and the female chest area, but they are not kind. One boy was very aggressive, but just continued to wallop me in the derriere at full force. When he connected in the gut, I spoke up. When I got nailed in the chest by the black belt kid last year, I was too shy to speak up; but this time I felt it was my duty. Once that kick goes a little higher it’s going to be trouble for any lady-parts that are in the dojo.

I told him to use control, and showed him how every time he walloped me in the butt, I was able to back fist him in the head. He had a strong kick but left himself wide open when those arms swung back instead of staying out front.

When I sparred the adults, one of them was a guy about 6’5". I expected him to pound on me. But he was tentative and careful in his movements (much to my relief). I told him that with his height there was no reason he couldn’t hit me in the head every time (I know because that’s what Mr. BBM does to me every time). By the end of our brief session he was connecting.

Another teenage girl has these ridiculously long and flexible legs. She just throws these high kicks out there but she needs to get her distancing down. She’s also quick to bring that leg back and down, when she has the ability to throw it up there again right away. I told her to go for the stomach and then throw a kick up to the head. By the end of our session, I was kind of wishing I hadn’t told her about that.

After each white belt had sparred twice, it was time for class to end. My instructor had other ideas. "I guess there’s only one match left" he said smiling. At this point I was ready for a cold shower and a gallon of water.

I trudged over, bowed, hit gloves and prepared to be beaten. With the entire white belt crew and parents as the audience, I did the best I could.

But it was not good enough. I threw up kicks to block his. . .and they didn’t really work. I threw punches out. . . and missed my moving target. I got distracted by this freaky hand thing he was doing. . . and took a bunch of shots to the head and stomach. It wasn’t about beating me down; I connected from time to time, but I have so much more to learn. I like sparring with my instructor though, because it motivates me to work harder at it.

I also have to keep in mind that he’s been doing karate for 11 years to my three. Yep, that sort of makes me feel better. Sort of.

What I need is a private lesson with some freeze action where someone stops me in the middle and tells me, "No, not like that. Do THIS!". Maybe I’ll have to talk to my instructor about doing that sometime.

The most mind-blowing thing about the whole night is that I found it fairly easy to watch what the white belts were doing and give them some tips to improve. It was fun, and I enjoyed it greatly. I just really wish I would be able to apply that same magnifying glass to myself so I could see what I’m doing and improve.

Regardless of my performance, I’ve found that a dose of humor does a lot to make sparring easier. Thanking my instructor for the concussion(s), and joking that I need a CT scan is much easier than looking at your sweaty self in the mirror and saying, "Boy, I really sucked tonight."

Back to work.