The Quarterback Jinx
I have the ability to single-handedly ruin your fantasy football season. I can also ruin your opponent’s season. Want to know how? All I need to know is which Quarterback you (or your opponent) are planning on starting. Once I know this, I will obtain this QB off the waiver wires (if available) and start him myself. Within the first half of the game, I can, with almost 100% certainty, guarantee that said QB will be removed from the game due to an injury. I am a QB jinx like no other.
Let’s start with the draft. Because I was feeling super confident about my first two round RB choices in the draft (Tomlinson and Adrian Peterson of Min.), I went with a QB in Round three. I chose Marc Bulger. Within the first few games, it was very clear I had made a serious mistake. St. Louis can’t do anything right this year and they are ALL considerably banged up. Sunday was Bulger’s big come back game. He managed to throw three interceptions. He was also sacked seven times. He got a whopping -1 fantasy point. I’m just thanking my lucky stars he was on my bench.
I was fortunate enough to pick up Ben Roethlisberger in that league as well. He has been mostly fabulous. However, his bye week brought a pick up of Kurt Warner, Arizona’s now injured QB. (I also picked him up in my other league too-I should have known right there that I was doomed). He banged up his left elbow, had a miserable game, and I started wondering what was going on with the elbows!
In my other league, I drafted Vince Young. Young was supposed to be a major stud this year, and instead he’s left much to be desired. I didn’t mind though, because I had drafted Jake Delhomme as well. Jake Delhomme got a season-ending elbow injury and that was that. Delhomme had surgery on that elbow last week. I think I’ll do him a favor and not draft him next year so he can have a healthy season.
I also had Trent Green. Not only is Green out for the season with yet another severe concussion; he very well may call it quits entirely since the last thing he wants to do is be permanently brain damaged by taking another blow to the head.
With Delhomme and Green out for the season, and Warner out after playing on my team for only one miserable game, I had to pick up someone else. I was also hurting in my other league with Big Ben on a bye week since I was unwilling to let Young back at the helm. Because I am thoroughly convinced that I am jinxing these guys, I decided to pick up two different QB’s: one for each team.
I went with Jeff Garcia in my one league who ended up with 25 points on my bench (o.k. since Big Ben got me over 30 as my starter). I chose David Garrard for my other team. Guess what happened? Garrard, who needed to have a Manning/Brady-esque like game for me to even be close to winning this week, went out of the game with a knee injury about half way through the game, after getting me exactly two fantasy points. Two.
Now I’m in need of another QB, so I thought I should give all fantasy players fair warning that if you have the same QB I’ll be picking up, you might want to have a back-up plan.
And since you’re probably wondering. . . I’m in 8th out of 10 teams in one league and 7th out of 8 teams in the other league. Yes, my season has just been fabulous.
***The BBM Review is getting into full swing now! I’ve added two additional writers (who are equally fabulous), and we have lots of awesome products coming in to be reviewed in the next few weeks. Check out the new writers’ bio write-ups (Scroll down for the new guys) over at The BBM Review and make sure you check back often for great product advice, and contest information.
The Agony, The Ecstacy
You should know that I despise the Dallas Cowboys. I can’t stand TO (drama queen), and for as long as I can remember I just haven’t liked them as a team. It’s practically a requirement when you live where I live. You are brought up hating the Cowboys because they’re, well, the Cowboys. Cheering for them just isn’t done.
For that reason, you’ll have to keep this between us.
Last night, I jumped so high that I almost hit the ceiling when Nick Folk (Dallas Cowboy kicker) nailed a 53 yard field goal, not once but twice. TWICE! You see, when Folk nailed that kick and several others that night, he was contributing to my fantasy football win by exactly one point (73-72).
I had joked the entire day that I needed Folk to have a career night. I needed him to get 20 fantasy points to win, and 20 fantasy points is exactly what he got. I can’t remember the last time I was that happy.
Mr. BBM was laughing at me as I began leaping around my living room, high fiving him, jumping up and down and yelling with excitement and laughter.
This, my friends, is what fantasy football does to you. It makes you cheer for a Cowboy.
In my other league, I’m not faring as well having lost again (102-98). You know you’re having a bad day when your tight end outscores your QB Vince Young (a whopping two fantasy points), LenDale White (a pathetic one point), Deion Branch (one point before leaving the game with an injury), and Jerricho Cotchery (three lousy points) combined. With a combined seven points between those four, my tight end, Ben Watson, outscored them all by 21 points. That’s just wrong.
If I had played Brian Leonard, in place of LenDale White, I would have won. If I had played Derrick Ward instead of White, I would have won. Nothing is more aggravating than that, except perhaps the outscoring issue as noted above.
I’m also surfing the waiver wires for new QB’s. Trent Green is done; so is Delhomme, and I’m just not feeling confident resting all my fantasy eggs in Vince Young’s two-point getting basket.
It seems it has become impossible to win games in both leagues at the same time. It’s just not going to happen. If that does happen, it could be very bad for my ceiling and my head.
Who was your biggest disappointment this week? Who made you want to jump for joy?
***I know I have some design savvy readers out there. I will be launching a new blog soon called "BBM Thinks. . . ". This blog will be home to reviews of all different kinds of books, products, etc. Because I am completely clueless in the design department, I thought I might open it up to my fabulous readers. If you can create an interesting header for the blog, you will receive design credit on the site with a link back to your site and/or email. Interested? Shoot me an email or leave me a comment letting me know.
A Letter to the Saints
Dear Drew Brees,
If at all possible, would you do me a favor tonight? You see, I need you to get -13 points. You can do this by throwing 13 interceptions and getting less than 25 passing yards. I would greatly appreciate it.
Thanks,
BBM (Pathetic Owner of Team Craptastic which will go to 0-3 unless Drew Brees listens. . . )
Dear Marques Colston,
I need you to get 35 points tonight. It’s not that hard to do. Kevin Curtis did it yesterday; I have faith that you can too. There’s only one thing. You have to get these 35 points without Drew Brees getting any fantasy points. If you could figure out a way to work that out, I would be very appreciative.
Sincerely,
BBM (Owner of MARMAD, which will lose its undefeated title this week unless you can come through for me. . .)
You better believe there will be some more love letters this week. . .
Love Letters
I wanted to throw my remote through my TV, my computer out the window, and put my foot through the wall. Instead, I figured I’d vent my frustration here. To steal Sarah’s line, "To some of you, this will sound like blah, blah, blah," but for those of you who know anything about fantasy football, you will feel my pain. If you have the same players I do, you will feel it so much that it will be physical pain.
Dear Reggie Brown (Phila. WR),
How are you today? Trust me, you’re better than I am today. You see, last night you were my only hope, sort of like my Obi-Wan Kenobi. I needed seven points. SEVEN. Instead you gave me two. TWO!!! Seven is not that difficult to manage. Those points could have come in the form of one touchdown pass and ten receiving yards. Or, forget the scoring altogether. Seventy receiving yards would have been sufficient. It’s not all that difficult to do. If Larry Fitzgerald can do that with Matt Leinart throwing at him, certainly you can manage that with Donovan McNabb throwing to you, right? Of course, I do realize that it’s not all your fault. Trust me when I say that McNabb is also getting a "love letter" from me today. So, because of your abysmal performance for the last two weeks, you will be benched this weekend. Please take this as an opportunity to further rest, because if you score on my bench, you’re not even going to want to open the envelope of my next letter.
Sincere-NOT-ly,
BBM (formerly of team BBM-now renamed Team Sucks)
Dear Donovan McNabb:
You’re not even on my team, but I felt I would be remiss if I didn’t write you as well. What is up with you and your lousy passing??? Reggie can not catch the ball with his feet. He does NOT have go-go-gadget arms either. A thrown pass should be just that, a thrown pass, not a hurtling through the universe rocket. It’s back to basics for you this week McNabb. Get some practice throwing a catchable ball. Oh, and who the heck is Jason Avant??? What does a top WR have to do to get some more action from you? Take you to dinner? A movie? What? You tell me and I’ll pass it along to Reggie.
Yours in frustration,
BBM
Dear Ladainian Tomlinson (San Diego RB-5 lousy points):
Two years ago, you were on my team. You were awesome, right up until the fantasy football playoffs, where you decided to rest on the sidelines, killing my chances of winning. Thanks-not sure if I ever properly thanked you for that. Anyway, um, what’s up with the 18 carries for only 43 yards and NO scores, huh!?! You were my shoe-in, my one guarantee on a roster that otherwise sucks (like my new team name)! I am counting on you to get your running butt in gear next week. You are LT, for goodness sakes! Let’s see the LT that I know and love! I saw an ad that you’re featured in this week. It says, "Stoppable? Yes, I stop when I score." Prove it LT! PROVE IT! Do you know that I had to change my team logo from the Japanese characters that mean "Nintai" (Persevere), to this logo:
Help me take this team out of the crapper and restore some respect LT!
Yours in disgust,
BBM
Dear Maurice Jones-Drew (Jac RB-proud getter of a whopping 4 points):
Seriously. Can you please get your act together? You are KILLING me. KILLING ME!
Worst Regards,
BBM
Dear Deion Branch (Seattle WR-17 points ON MY BENCH!!!):
The week before, you did not catch a single pass. Not one. Nada. Now that you’re sitting on my bench, you give me 17 points. Do you realize that if I had played you, I would have won this week??? Instead I am sitting in the basement with Papa Bradstein. Good company and all, but I’d prefer to not be sitting on two losses. Do me a favor, will you? If you’re going to decide to show up again this week, can you please send me a memo or something?
Thanks NOT,
BBM
The good news is that I am sitting on two wins in one league, but it’s just plain embarrassing when you can’t manage a single win in your own league. As they say in fantasy football, there’s always next week. Feel free to add your "love letters" below, unless of course your players are awesome and you’ve made all the right decisions so far. In that case, keep your good news to yourself. No, seriously.
Fantasy Football: A Draft No-No
Last night was my first draft of the fantasy football season. There were ten teams and we had the sixth pick. We were doing just fine, despite the fact that Mr. BBM had a very last minute trip and had to be in North Carolina instead of sitting beside me in the "war room" (aka the family room). He got on his computer in the hotel. I got on mine, and we conference called our draft. My parents even came down to watch the kids so I could freak out in peace. Fantasy football drafts get me totally stressed. I’m just a tad bit obsessive about it.
We ended up with the following starters:
QB: Vince Young
RB: Willie Parker
RB: Laurence Maroney
RB/WR: Donald Driver
WR: Torry Holt
WR: Marques Colston
TE: Kellen Winslow
D/ST: Dolphins
K: Olindo Mare
We also ended up with some o.k. bench-goers (and some not o.k. bench-goers):
QB: Trent Green
WR: Deion Branch
WR: Chris Chambers
RB: LenDale White
TE: Owen Daniels
RB: Warrick Dunn
But the draft software was causing problems throughout. People were unable to choose and the auto picker would just do it for you. People were getting frustrated, but none more frustrated than Mr. BBM and I as both of our computers completely froze up and the auto picker chose for us. . . are you ready for this. . . because I almost threw my computer completely out the window. . .
Michael Vick.
WHAT?!?!? $%#^&^*)+@#$$@!@
This is why, my friends, you must always pre-rank your players and move dog-fighting idiots like Vick to the bottom of the barrel just in case you have a computer freeze up. So, we could have done a lot better if we hadn’t had to waste a pick on Vick, but considering the circumstances, I think we’ll do o.k. Or at least I hope we’ll do o.k.
Every team it seems, ended up with at least one or two players they didn’t want at all. Of course, most of those players will just suck or be sitting on the sidelines, not sitting behind bars, so we’ve already dropped Vick and will be picking up someone a little less. . . criminal, someone a little more available.
Fantasy Football Lesson #1: Move ALL criminals to the bottom of your pre-rank list because your computer will inevitably freeze at a crucial moment, if your luck is anything like mine.
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