August 21, 2007

Fantasy Football: A Draft No-No

Last night was my first draft of the fantasy football season. There were ten teams and we had the sixth pick. We were doing just fine, despite the fact that Mr. BBM had a very last minute trip and had to be in North Carolina instead of sitting beside me in the "war room" (aka the family room). He got on his computer in the hotel. I got on mine, and we conference called our draft. My parents even came down to watch the kids so I could freak out in peace. Fantasy football drafts get me totally stressed. I’m just a tad bit obsessive about it.

We ended up with the following starters:

QB: Vince Young
RB: Willie Parker
RB: Laurence Maroney
RB/WR: Donald Driver
WR: Torry Holt
WR: Marques Colston
TE: Kellen Winslow
D/ST: Dolphins
K: Olindo Mare

We also ended up with some o.k. bench-goers (and some not o.k. bench-goers):

QB: Trent Green
WR: Deion Branch
WR: Chris Chambers
RB: LenDale White
TE: Owen Daniels
RB: Warrick Dunn

But the draft software was causing problems throughout. People were unable to choose and the auto picker would just do it for you. People were getting frustrated, but none more frustrated than Mr. BBM and I as both of our computers completely froze up and the auto picker chose for us. . . are you ready for this. . . because I almost threw my computer completely out the window. . .

Michael Vick.

WHAT?!?!? $%#^&^*)+@#$$@!@

This is why, my friends, you must always pre-rank your players and move dog-fighting idiots like Vick to the bottom of the barrel just in case you have a computer freeze up. So, we could have done a lot better if we hadn’t had to waste a pick on Vick, but considering the circumstances, I think we’ll do o.k. Or at least I hope we’ll do o.k.

Every team it seems, ended up with at least one or two players they didn’t want at all. Of course, most of those players will just suck or be sitting on the sidelines, not sitting behind bars, so we’ve already dropped Vick and will be picking up someone a little less. . . criminal, someone a little more available.

Fantasy Football Lesson #1: Move ALL criminals to the bottom of your pre-rank list because your computer will inevitably freeze at a crucial moment, if your luck is anything like mine.