Second Showings and Death
Today we had another second showing at our house. It was our realtor showing our house. When his assistant told me that he was bringing a woman who had been at our Open House a few weeks ago, I got excited. One of the women who came to our open house told our realtor she loved this house and said, "I could definitely see myself living here." I thought it was her.
It wasn’t.
The woman who visited our house today is 62 years old and came to our Open House with her 91 year old mother. While her mother explored our house with the assistance of her cane, the 62-year old woman, proceeded to tell our realtor that she was looking for a house for her and her 68 year old friend. There’s a catch though. She’s not buying a house for herself and her friend until her mother dies. She said this in front of her 91 year old mother.
So you can imagine my shock when it was this woman getting out of her car today. My realtor had called ahead and told us to not even bother leaving for the showing. As he walked this woman down the stairs to our front door, he mouthed the words, "Just stay. No reason to go. This woman is NOT going to buy your house."
As he finished mouthing these words to me, the woman introduced herself and asked if I minded if she video-taped my house so she could show it to her would-be roommate. I gave her permission. I figured, what are the chances of her showing it to some 60 year old thugs who might come rob my house? While she walked around the house, our Realtor told us the story again, about how she’s waiting for her mother to die. Then he added that her mother currently has pneumonia and is in the hospital. I refuse to wish for someone’s death in order to get an offer on my house.
As the woman left our house, she reiterated that our house is her favorite and the circumstances under which she would buy it. I’m imaging this sales agreement with a contingency that the sale will take place "on the date of the buyer’s mothers death." How insane is that? I mean, why is she even out looking for homes? I can’t believe I cleaned all morning for that.
Our Two “Moms”
Filed under: Admired Martial Artists Month, Guest Post, Tales from the dojo
By William R. Hayes, Maj., USMC (Ret.)
“Old Student” of Shorin-ryu Karate-do
This is not a piece written with regard to a social dilemma faced by some. Rather, this is an article designed to touch upon a very real challenge experienced by more and more students of traditional martial culture – especially those who have spent considerable time in their training halls.
At the outset – for the sake of clarity – let me define the “TWO ‘MOMS’” mentioned in the title. “MOM #1” – the first (and sometimes only) “MOM” we meet in the dojo, stands for “Mastery Of Motion” and encourages the development of what might be called “Martial Science”. As for “MOM #2” – well, that “MOM” stands for “Meaning Of Motion” – and is seen less and less in dojos these days even though the presence of “MOM #2” can provide the effective “Martial Arts” we seek in the first place.
For the sake of discussion, let’s say a prospective student drops by a dojo and observes a class before seeking admission or being asked to enroll. What that person gets to see may well be martial arts displayed by experienced practitioners, however, what he or she undoubtedly gets to do, for at least the first several years of training, will be something completely different – martial science.
Let me start with the first MOM – Mastery Of Motion – “martial science”. That term includes what we are told to do and what we actually perform in a dojo over an extended length of time (sadly, in some cases, for the entire length of time we study a particular ryu-ha). “Martial science” involves stretching, calisthenics, breathing, stance work, striking, kicking, “blocking”, drills, kata, fixed bunkai, kumite, and other assorted methods and routines designed to bring us to the point where we are judged worthy of moving up in a system’s hierarchy. In other words, “martial science” training primarily describes and involves body mechanics – the kinesiology we undertake during our studies.
During “martial science” training we are exhorted to “polish” our movements for the sake of precision, snap, power, martial spirit development, style, competition, tradition, and so forth. Operating within and exemplifying that model is fine as long as we are, at some point, introduced to the other MOM – MOM #2 (Meaning Of Motion). MOM #2 is quite a bit older than MOM #1, and is a bit more complex and difficult to come to know, however, MOM #2 is truly worth meeting. If the meeting is delayed too long due to a comfort zone-created fascination with MOM #1, a misunderstanding of the original intent of the art – or – worse yet – never takes place at all due to either the limitations of the instructor, the style, or the organization propagating the style, then the practitioner may never reach full potential – and, perhaps more importantly, may not possess true self-defense or Life Protection skills should that never-hoped-for “moment of truth” ever arrive.
MOM #2 (Meaning Of Motion) is the comprehensive enabling factor which gives vitality and utility to MOM #1. When utilized in conjunction with a system’s concepts and principles MOM #2 leverages our basics, our kata, and even the seemingly street-impractical analysis (bunkai and yakusoku) we are taught during the various martial science stages of our training. MOM #2 moves us from the study of “martial science”, where the goal is to become “Brilliant At The Basics”, to an understanding of the processes that comprise “martial arts”, where the dedicated develop Intuitive Competence; where rational creativity is fully unleashed; where practitioners are not separate from their martial culture; where they master themselves, their opponents, “the moment”, and their arts through the unified, simultaneous acts of understanding and doing.
The transition from “martial science” to “martial arts” begins with ones mindset – how one is “fed” and “sees” ones art and its many component parts. Take the fundamental “middle block” learned early on during “martial science” training. “Martial science” training leads us to believe that the end of that motion (the fully formed “block”) expresses the full function of that motion. We “perfect” the “blocking” motion with repetitive drills which allow us to know ahead of time that a particular punch is on its way and that we must block it (and possibly counter it in some way). Partners eventually gain the ability to do all of that by employing well-timed choreography and safe stances, making it almost impossible to injure one another in the process. With “martial arts” we learn that a great deal more is going on when it comes to the movements involved in the “middle block” beginning with the fact that the timing and functions of the motions involved are not what they seem to be at all.
With “martial science” the object of the “middle block” is to indeed block the opponent’s punching arm in such a manner as to keep it from striking you – for many this exercise then becomes a well-oiled speed drill on the part of the “blocker” wherein mere anticipation arises as the hallmark of “successful” blocking. With enough anticipation and a slightly cooperative training partner some build great confidence in their supposed ability to “block” an attacker’s punch. Such drills can evolve to the point where the “blocking” arm is in action before the cue (the moving punching arm), is given (we’ve all seen it happen and perhaps done it ourselves). That’s a sure way to build great false confidence in our budding abilities, especially when we keep in mind that, by it’s very nature, a reaction cannot occur before an action takes place. Allowing just such a contradiction to not only occur but embed itself in our training as a “fundamental skill” is one of the ways in which “martial science” moves us further and further away from the real world of Life Protection (but closer and closer to MOM #1).
MOM #2, on the other hand, takes a different view of and approach to the notions of “timing”, “attacking hands”, “middle blocks”, and so on. Using “martial arts” perspectives/mindsets/training we learn to “cover and change body” (protecting and altering the angle of our body) in such a manner as to make a “block” both inefficient and unnecessary. With the MOM#2 approach one varies: heights, distances, angles, stances, and timing, (the five fundamental elements of movement) so as to place the defender’s body in the least vulnerable position while exposing kyusho mato (vital points) on the attacker’s body. With “martial arts” we learn to respond instantly to the psychological, physiological, and physical cues the attacker gives us prior to or just as their attack gets under way, allowing us a bit more time to reposition ourselves, redirect (not block) the attacking hand with our “front side motion” (the other hand usually not very involved in blocking drills), and counterstrike or manipulate a joint with the “back side motion” (what would have been the blocking hand in the “martial science” model) to a meridian, nerve plexus, ligament, or other target – all done near simultaneously, thereby overwhelming the opponent’s ability to deal with the situation he or she created by attacking in the first place. The Okinawa Ko Hoshin (Old Okinawan Principle) of Ti Chi Ki (What the Hand is Doing) is what is employed here by the Life Protection practitioner and it amounts to a decision cycle akin to the “O.O.D.A. Loop” (Observation, Orientation, Decision, Action) made famous by a now deceased U. S. Air Force fighter pilot named John Boyd.
A great deal changes when we get to know both of our “MOMS” – especially MOM #2. On the way to practicing and applying the processes which constitute MOM #2 we may be beset by periods of confusion – sticking points in our training during which we get to “rewire” our brains. Okinawan masters remind us that such confusion is intentional – it is part of the way ahead. For instance, take a moment to consider the habit of breathing in on a “block”. With a martial arts Life Protection mindset in operation one might breath out on that same movement since it may now be a strike and not a “block”.
Meeting, training, understanding, and integrating MOM #2 can be a martial culture-altering experience which brings us to understand why the Uchinajin no Bushi – the great warriors of the Ryukyu Islands – took extraordinary care and invested extensive amounts of time in an effort to develop and gift us with what is now our heritage.
Lastly, understanding the differences as well as the links between “martial science” and “martial arts” can allow practitioners to make personal sense of the last two lines from Robert Frost’s wonderful poem, “The Road Not Taken” – –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
With high regard for your many achievements,
Bill Hayes
Bill Hayes has written an award-winning book titled, “My Journey With the Grandmaster”; publishes a quarterly martial culture newsletter; is a “warrior wellness” product consultant; and conducts seminars in the U. S. and Europe. You can contact him regarding any of the above by writing to him at: 1105 Walker Drive, Fredericksburg, Virginia, 22401-2625; or by e-mailing him at: oldstudent1 at cox dot net.
***This is the final week to enter The BBM Review contest to win exciting books and DVDs from Turtle Press. Please visit The BBM Review and leave a comment on any post in the month of March for your chance to win! One of the giveaway books has just been reviewed! Don’t miss it!
Taking a 2-year old to Church
I’m a Chreaster. I admit it. I rarely attend church unless it is either Christmas Eve or Easter. We’ve got the dual church thing going on in our house, with Mr. BBM being one denomination and me another which makes things even more difficult. It’s not that we don’t want to go to church. It’s just that we have a 2-year old, the same 2-year old who used to be a 1-year old and before that a baby. Did I mention that Lil C is rather loud?
Big I has always been an angel at church. She sits quietly, listens to what’s going on and gives us not a problem. Then there’s Lil C.
On Sunday, we attended a packed church service (arriving 10 minutes late because it’s even fashionable to arrive to church late. . . because I said so). Lil C started jabbering away right away. She brought with her a small Minney Mouse stuffed toy and spent much of the church service trying to attract attention to her new toy and herself. Thankfully the people in the pew in front of us thought she was adorable. When they asked her what her name was during the offering, the little comedienne proudly announced that her name is "Minney Mouse" and then collapsed in a fit of giggles. Of course all the attention only encouraged her.
During hymns, she loudly sang along. Of course her words were, "Go Pop a Weasel; Go Pop a Weasel" since that’s her song and created lyrics of choice lately. She may have thrown in an Old MacDonald or two as well.
But it was shortly before communion finished up that she made her biggest "impact." After the entire church had gone up for communion, our Pastor asked if there was anyone else who would like to come forward for communion. There is always a brief and very silent pause as the organist/pianist leaves her station and heads to the front for communion. Lil C decided she’d give the Pastor a very loud answer for everyone in the form of a boisterous and elongated, "NOOOOOOOOOO!" followed by an equally loud "I don’t VANT to go a church."
It echoed through the tall ceilings of the church and bounced off the front wall and back to us. Mr. BBM, Big I and I were all briefly shocked silent before the bubbling of laughter threatened to turn into a full eruption. We watched as the shoulders of the people in the row in front of us started shaking, almost violently. We tried to shush Lil C but she erupted into a loud conversation about Minney Mouse and the Easter Bunny. There was just no keeping her quiet. Even as Mr. BBM carried her down the stairs to the social hall, her banter was quite audible.
There is definitely a good reason why we’re Chreasters as this point in our lives. I think that after Sunday, pretty much everyone understands.
The Turn Around
When I arrived at PT today, I put my leg down flat on the table and it actually went flat for the first time in. . . well, months I guess. My PT came out with the heating pads and looked shocked before a huge grin spread across his face. That earned me one of our Wonder Twins fist hand-shakes and I knew it was going to be a good day.
After the heat, stims and exercises, my PT measured my flexion. I’ve been fluctuating between 145-148, and have been frustrated to not break into the 150’s. 155 is the goal. I worked it today and pushed myself through the pain, to hold that position longer each time and to pull that foot closer and closer to my butt. When my PT measured, he asked where we had been last week. "145," I mumbled. Usually, when he asks me, it’s because I’ve gone backwards.
"Well, you just hit 150," he said. Not believing his own eyes, he looked again. "That’s 150. It’s a good day," he said. A good day indeed.
I wanted to leap off that table I was so happy. My PT also added some new exercises today. With a harness attached to a weight machine, I took five steps away from the machine and then balanced on my bad leg. I did this facing the machine and facing backwards and had no problem at all. I’m also now standing on a piece of balancing foam for my trampoline/weighted ball exercises. This is one karate-ka who won’t be having balance issues.
Tonight, we got a call requesting a house showing tomorrow afternoon. After a two-week drought of showings, we are back in action. Things are turning around, each and every one of them, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
We are off to the beach for a few days to celebrate Big I’s GASP 7th birthday. Have a great Easter holiday!
Don’t forget to check back on Monday for another Admired Martial Artist post that is going to blow your socks off. Also, head over to The BBM Review to leave a comment on any post in March and enter for your chance to win a Turtle Press book or DVD. Six prizes will be given away!
Oh, and speaking of turn-arounds, if you’re interested in turning your life upside down or at least publishing it for all to see but don’t know where to start???? Head on over and sign up for the next round of the Black Belt Blogger course. Our first group of grads is just fabulous. You can be too!
The Underwear Issue. . . Again
This is just one of the many reasons why I wanted to wear underwear during my ACL surgery. Seriously. Thank God I got a new ACL and not a new. . . go see for yourself.
Today I was relaying this story to my PT while on the leg press machine. One of the surgeons walked by and asked what we were talking about. My PT deferred to me and I told him. I told him that I was telling my PT to explain why I was so obsessed with being able to wear my underwear before I went in for surgery.
The surgeon stood there stone-faced, then asked me, "Who’s your surgeon?"
I told him my surgeon’s name and he said, "Ahh, well, then you didn’t need to worry. He doesn’t operate on assholes."
Good to know. I felt like it was a compliment.
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