July 31, 2007

The Ultimate Snub from “The View”

I don’t even know where to begin. I woke up this morning with a positive outlook on life, and then I saw it. Have you seen it? Can you believe the news this morning? Is it really possible?

The headline reads, "Goldberg, Shepherd to Join ‘The View’"

Huh?

What?

Are you kidding me?

I don’t know what I’m more upset about: the fact that I haven’t been chosen, or the fact that I wasn’t even considered along with Mario Cantone, Kathy Griffith, and Roseanne Barr. I mean they’re great and all, but we’re talking about BLACK BELT MAMA here. To not even get a nod of consideration is just plain insulting.

I’m thinking that maybe the other major networks scared them off, and that I’ll be approached soon about having my own show. Or maybe the idea of facing off against a brown belt karate-ka was just too scary for the remaining co-hosts. Joy Behar may have been just plain scared. I don’t doubt that.

Regardless, the outcome is certainly not a good one. Although I’m sure Goldberg and Shepherd will do well enough, both of them were expected. Black Belt Mama would be unexpected and would probably boost their ratings ten-fold. But apparently I’m not part of the recycled celebrities list so there was never any hope, not even with all of your help.

Readers wrote Barbara Walters emails and posted my button on their site in support, and I can’t thank you enough. It was a fun ride while it lasted.

Of course, maybe they just want to save me for when Elisabeth goes on maternity leave in the fall. I won’t totally snub their calls if they decide to give me a shot. But wearing the gi on screen in non-negotiable, I tell you!!! NON-NEGOTIABLE!

And I’m going to need a personal masseuse in my dressing room. . .

And a heavy bag for when Joy gets on my nerves. . .