August 14, 2009
A Boatload of Drugs and Death Threats
Yesterday I went to see my allergist. He walked in the room, said "hello" to me and Barry White said hello back. He knew I needed help.
He examined my popping ears, my blocked by the Great Wall of China sinuses, and my itchy throat and said I looked "very allergic." I assured him I've been taking all my meds and then some regularly. Pataday eye drops once a day, Patanase nasal spray twice a day, and half an Allegra because if I only take half I just get cranky. If I take a whole tablet, I get cranky and want to wrap my car around a tree.
He said he wasn't sure what the problem was, but when he checked my allergy testing results he nodded. It's late summer pollen time people and I'm living next to a weed filled lot. That can't be helping things.
He told me we'd hit this foggy head with everything possible and if I'm still miserable in a week, then my only other option is going to be allergy shots. He prescribed Prednisone, a Z-pak, Veramyst and told me to take Mucinex too. That's on top of my crank-inducing Allegra, Patanase and Pataday. I cracked up laughing when he said he was prescribing Prednisone. The last time I took that I was suffering from a serious case of poison ivy and Prednisone did not make for a pleasant me. I was irritable to the point that my family pretty much avoided me and I believe it was days before Mr. BBM even dared to enter the same room with me.
Combining Pred with Allegra? Someone is probably going to have to die. It's also likely I'll gain about 20 pounds. Here's hoping the extra weight opts for the chest area and leaves my butt alone.
He told me I should have Mr. BBM talk to me from behind a door for a couple days and that Mr. BBM should also mow the empty lot.
So I weed wacked half of it before all three of my batteries died, came inside, blew my nose 1000 times and it seems to me that the Great Wall of China is starting to crumble. I'm finally starting to be able to breathe a little bit.
Here's hoping the side effects from all these meds don't kill me (or make me kill someone else) first.
August 13, 2009
A Threat that Works
Yesterday I was going through a stack of papers on my counter and came across an envelope from U.S. District Court. Mr. BBM received a jury summons a couple weeks ago and he was supposed to fill it out and send it back within 10 days or else he would be deported or something.
I cautiously opened the envelope to find that he had yet to send it back. Fantastic.
So, before I left to take Big I to ju-jutsu I wrote him a note with a couple post-it's and a black Sharpie and left it on the middle of the kitchen island. The note said:
"Fill this out NOW before I'm a single Mom and you're trying to avoid picking up the soap in the community shower."
It's in the mail today.
August 12, 2009
754 Reasons To Hate Your Inbox
754.
The number of antihistamines I'm currently taking? Not quite.
The number of times I've told the girls to stop fighting? Close.
The number of times I've hit Mr. BBM with a knife hand and told him to roll over and stop snoring? Actually I believe this number is nearly 1000, so no.
754 is the number of spam emails I had this morning in my recruiting email inbox. Are you kidding me?
Here's what I don't get. How do these people make any money? Who does this for a living? Is their primary goal in life to waste people's time?
This morning I had emails saying I needed to update my bank accounts at three different banks where I don't even have accounts. Nice try schmucks.
I also had emails telling me I can improve my performance in bed and "rock her all night." Um, no thanks. People who have girl names generally don't need drugs to harden certain appendages and I'm definitely not looking to rock any "her."
Maybe it's the Allegra in me that's making me particularly cranky today, but I am so sick of this spam crap. And for the last time, I don't have any relatives who left me lottery winnings in Nigeria. Not buying it.
Today I have more important things to do than delete spam. I need to psych Lil C up to get a very much needed haircut. I need to quit procrastinating and finish my syllabus for my class that starts in just two weeks. I need to open my jaw really wide every five minutes or so to reestablish hearing capabilities in my left ear.
Take your penis products elsewhere people. Not interested.
August 11, 2009
Give me my Meds or I’ll Cough on You
Yesterday I woke up to find out that I was completely out of my allergy eye drop and nasal spray, and trust me when I tell you that I desperately needed them and now. I immediately got on the computer and plugged in my refill info at my pharmacy. I did this at 10 a.m. It said the earliest I could pick it up would be 2 p.m.
You've got to be kidding me. It takes two hours to drop an eye drop bottle in a bag?
I then realized that my nasal spray was a doctor's sample and that I hadn't yet filled that prescription. So we got in the car and went to the Rite Aid drive-through. It was noon.
"When would you like to pick this up?" the girl asked me.
"I'd like to come back in an hour," I told her. I had to go suffer through a visit to the grocery store anyway. I figured an hour was plenty of time to drop both an eye drop and a nasal spray in a bag.
I guess they're making the drugs there because the girl told me there was no way it would be ready before 2 p.m.
I drove off in a huff, possibly screeching my tires out of the drive-through aisle and called Mr. BBM to tell him how outraged I was that my clogged up head was going to have to wait another two hours for my meds.
I went into my grocery store and realized for the first time, that there was a pharmacy in the back. A polite young guy was working there and I told him I wanted to ask him a hypothetical question.
"What if I brought you a prescription for a nasal allergy spray? How long would it take you to fill it?"
"About five minutes," he said.
"Ok, what if I also need an allergy eye drop prescription. How long then?"
"About five minutes," he said, grinning ear to ear instead of scowling at me like the Rite Aid girls.
I figured I'd throw him for a loop. I have walked into Rite Aid with very sick kids, barfing sick kids and they have told me I'd have to wait a good hour for the medicine. When that happens, I usually either take the prescription elsewhere or stand there and make my children look as if they're about to barf right now. It's amazing how that works to make them move faster. Unfortunately, I don't think they were feeling very threatened by a congested Mom in the drive-through. So, I asked the grocery store pharmacy one more question. . .
"Well, what if I also have a sick kid and you actually have to mix the medicine for them. Add to that my eye drop and nasal spray. How long then?"
"About five minutes," he said, then added, "Wait! Have you been here before?"
"No, does that change things?" I asked him.
"Yeah, it would add about two minutes, but only for the first time," he said grinning so brightly I practically needed sunglasses.
Then he smiles even bigger and says, "Let me guess. . . you just came from Rite Aid right?"
"Yeah you would be correct," I told him, "but this is the last time I'll be coming from there."
August 6, 2009
Self Defense-Getting People Through the Door
During our annual training camp, I took the first part of training to become certified in teaching self defense classes. We wasted no time scheduling a couple free sessions at the dojo. I used my email address book and mass mailed to everyone I knew. I posted about it on Facebook for the local people and pretty much everyone who goes to the dojo printed out fliers and hung them up at work.
Last week we had four people show up (one under duress as her black belt parents made her come). This week, we had two people show up.
The head of the program was at a conference this week, so it was up to me and two other black belts to teach it. Through a series of emails and craziness, it was determined that I should take the lead and teach it. It felt like the first time for anything. I was a little nervous and felt kind of stupid and awkward, but I made sure to hand it off to the other black belts plenty and that took some of the pressure off of me.
When all was said and done, we had one married couple that was feeling pretty empowered and thanking all of us for our time and asking if they could come back and do another session. Last week, many of the women there seemed unsure of themselves and you could tell they felt awkward when asked to yell in another person's face and put hands on them. This week, you could just see the one woman in attendance gaining confidence. It was exciting to watch.
We have another free session on Saturday and then it's time to regroup and figure out when the best time is to offer classes, how often we should do it, and how to get more people in the door! I spent time contacting the local newspaper, local TV stations, women's groups, etc. and our attendance was still minimal.
So without spending big bucks on advertising, how can we get more people in the door? Why aren't they coming? Are they afraid? Too intimidated? Not thinking anything will ever happen to them? A combination of everything? If you've taught self defense classes, what have you done to get people in the door?
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