December 23, 2007

Going mobile

Hi. Papa Bradstein here.

I’m not a black belt. I did receive a green belt in Tae Kwon Do, and I might be a brown belt in smart assedness (assifying?). The closest I come to having black belt skills is likely in biking, even if I can’t always keep my head up and the wheels down.

Also, I’m not a Mama. However, I am a Papa, although I’ll never be a black belt Papa, since fatherhood is a daily mobius-strip journey of 1,000 miles, with most of the miles being racked up in a loop that runs between 3B’s crib, changing pad, diaper pail, toy chest, Barky’s water dish, with detours to any heavy, sharp, dangerous, or toxic items 3B can get his little mitts on.

Even though I’m still a white-belt Papa, BBM was kind enough to ask me to guest post. And, despite the fact that I store bleach on the coffee table behind 3B’s high chair every so often someone writes to me with a parenting question.

Recently, I got one from Samantha that touched on several pet peeves of mine, including the bee-boopification of childhood as well as the Calderification of cribs, changing tables, and strollers. After further consideration, however, I do amend my original answer below. (Over on my blog, I also finally replied to her follow up question about babies sleeping and diaper changes, because really, who can talk enough about poop?)

Question: Crib mobiles. I don’t get it. Like, the kid goes in there to sleep. Why turn one of those on to further stimulate him? And he can’t do it himself as a self-soothing thing–it’s gotta be parent operated. Is there something I’m missing? Clue me in. Do you have one? Do/did you use it? Like/hate? Help. Same with crib toys. Don’t understand. I would think that would just keep them awake when they wanted to play? Or as a parent as long as you don’t have to get them in the middle of the night, that’s a good thing?

First–I’m so excited for you. I’m glad to hear that everything is going well with you and baby.

OK, on to mobiles…I don’t understand crib mobiles–or changing table mobiles, for that matter–for the reasons you list. I suppose that the thinking goes like this…baby has to be on his/her back, and to sleep, baby needs to be distracted from all the distractions in the room. I suppose that this works for some babies, but I suspect that mobiles are mostly for those who need to give parents gifts.

Also, mobiles are a pain. You may recall my post about setting up the g.d. crib, which would have only taken an hour if it weren’t for the g.d. mobile.

Here’s a few other things to consider about mobiles:

The kid can’t see great distances, like, over eight inches, for several weeks, which puts the mobile–and any distractions that it’s supposed to be distracting him from–out of his focal range for several weeks.
The music that comes with the mobiles can be grating, irritating, infuriating, and bad in every other way imaginable–and every song is an earworm.
You will bump the mobile every time you’re laying your kid down to sleep–after having spent hours, days, and months trying to get him to sleep, at which time you will be hallucinating from sleep deprivation, your shoulders will be aching like a stevedore’s, and your spine will be irreparably hunched over in the shape of a shepherd’s crook, and at which time the mobile will make a sound, play some music, brush his face, whatever–it will wake the baby up, at which time you will light it on fire and throw it off of your balcony–the mobile, that is, not the baby.
A mobile over a changing table is nothing but a cute, fuzzy poop magnet…don’t ask how poop would get up there–it just would. Since you’re having a boy, it will get peed on too–ever tried to put a mobile in the washing machine?
By the time the kid can see the mobile, the music will engage him enough to keep him awake.
By the time the kid is moving and agile enough to interact with the mobile, he’s going to be up on his hands and knees, at which time you have to take the mobile down, since it’s now a hazard.

I’ve never understood crib toys, although at 3B’s current age–17 months–I could see how they would perhaps give him something to do when he wakes up. But, they would also be something to step on to help him escape–something he would love to have, but that we’re not so keen on.

Also, he doesn’t need anything to distract him when he wakes up. He’s perfectly happy chattering away to himself, looking around the room, sucking his thumb, playing with his lovie, and rolling around until we come in. If he’s really upset, he’ll stand up and let us know, but that’s a rare event. We do have a Curious George doll in there for him, but he almost never gives George the time of day. The one thing we did consider was a mirror, you know, because our son is as smart as a parakeet, but we never got our act together to find a nonbreakable one.

Amendment: All that said, we did have a wonderful mobile next to our glider that amused and engaged 3B. We would pivot it away whenever we were rocking him to sleep there, so there might be a place for a mobile somewhere in your home.

Also, I’ve heard mobiles can help pass the time if you’re laid up with, say, a just-repaired knee. Because what better to do than watch fuzzy sheep float by and listen to the bee-boop version of Brahms’ lullaby for the 63,476th time?

Hope you feel better soon, BBM, even if only to keep me from ever besmirching your name with a guest post again.

Posted by Papa Bradstein on December 23, 2007 in Guest Post | Leave a Comment

December 22, 2007

Introductions

Hey everyone! This is my first post on Black Belt Mama so let me introduce myself though you may have seen me lurking in comments here and there. My name is Bush Mackel – Though I sometimes go as Da Mack Daddy. Now that’s not to claim that I am every woman’s dream, but only to make reference to fatherhood which I am now very well acquainted with thanks to my 7th month old son, Little Mac.

So even though you now know me through this little introduction, don’t think that the title of this post was entirely self serving… You see, last night I had a holiday potluck at my house. (Yes, I can be PC at times). Well at the potluck, I had a rare chance to talk to some of my friends (none of whom are parents) and one of them started a very interesting conversation with me on the subject of introductions and more to the point what should you introduce your kids to.

At first, the discussion started with talk of religion and whether or not to introduce Little Mac to religion. Arguments on both sides of the fence ranged from, "What right do you have to force something as important as religion on the young mind of a child?" to "Well, if you don’t introduce your kid to the church, how would they NOT hate going when they were older?" Then the talk moved to other things like chess and sports. It was at this time that I piped up and said if there was any two things I would probably introduce my kid to, it would probably be music and the martial arts.

I probably can’t put into words why I feel so strongly about music. Though as far as martial arts go, I can AT THE LEAST speak to what it did for me in my youth. In a nutshell, I was a nerd when I was younger. And I mean a nerd. Now I’d probably be more of a geek as I’ve been able to successfully straddle the fence of nerdom and social normalcy. But back then it was tough going – As it is for most young people. Weird hair, big buck teeth, tacky Christmas sweaters everyday of the year… But despite this, I always felt like I could talk to anyone because my dad got me involved with the martial arts.

I think looking back at it all, (not that I have one foot in the grave or anything), confidence is a precious commodity in life. Without it, basically everything is a nightmare. Talking to women, getting a job, making friends, negotiating better rates on your loans… Without confidence, life is just that much tougher. And I think one of the best things I’ve had going for me has been being confident in just about everything I’ve done.

Add to that all the other great benefits from martial arts… Athleticism, friendship, the ability to defend yourself – Well for me, that makes it a no brainer.

Posted by Bush Mackel on December 22, 2007 in Guest Post | 3 Comments

December 21, 2007

The Dreaded Christmas Letter

Hello, BBM Readers! I am delighted to be writing my first blog entry ever while BBM recovers. I have to be honest and tell you that I think this whole "ACL" thing is just a ploy by BBM to get me to start blogging. She’s been ~~harrassing me~~ suggesting to me to write for awhile now. Because she knows I will help her in any way I can, she conveniently "tore her ACL" and needed "surgery." Then, she begged me to help fill the blog void while she was gone. Good one, BBM! You finally got your way! Seriously, though, I’m excited to be writing here. Be gentle with me, dear reader; it is, after all, my first time.

The Dreaded Christmas Letter

by Tkddaughter

It is that time of year when you finally are excited to go to the mailbox. In between the thousands of credit card offers, magazines and bills, you actually get fun mail. You know the kind with cute stamps and little snowmen on the envelopes. It is the time of year where you can reconnect with friends you haven’t seen in years and years. But along with that fun mail comes much controversy…da da DA!!!!! THE DREADED CHRISTMAS LETTER!

You know how it goes…Little Susie started preschool this year and she is already working on quantum phsyics. Johnny Jr. is the starting quarterback for his peewee football team and we hear the Steelers are looking to sign him. Our dog, Snickers, just landed his 10th doggie commercial! Blah blah blah. By the time Christmas finally gets here, you feel incompetent, unworthy, and simple. I’ve already felt the stress of it myself. It’s annoying. At times it’s painful. And you know what? I’m glad they sent the letter.

I’m glad they sent the letter because what I dislike even more than the dreaded Christmas letter is the beautiful Christmas card showing no signs of a human’s touch. Or one that only bears the inscription, "Merry Christmas from the Smiths." I haven’t seen you in 17 years and the best you can come up with is, "Merry Christmas from the Smiths???" Are you kidding me?! I want to hear the growing your family has done during this past year. I want to know a little bit of what you do each day and how you’ve changed. Who is this person you’ve become? I can’t get that from a photo card printed out for you.

So while so many people dread the family Christmas letter, I say do it. Send it out. Tell your Christmas card list what you are up to, what the last year has shown you, and how you’ve grown. Send less cards if you have to, but write a little hello to each person. And a little advice: be honest. Don’t exaggerate to make your family sound like the perfect family. Tell it like it is because let’s face it…we’re all in the trenches here and it’s nice to know we are not alone.

That being said…well, I didn’t send a Christmas letter this year, but I did hand-make all 75 of our Christmas cards. While I didn’t write about our past year, I did put my own personal touch on it. But I bet there are still a few people out there who got my card and thought, "Gee, that’s nice, but what have they been up to this past year?"

Posted by TKDDaughter on December 21, 2007 in Guest Post, Holiday Fun | 6 Comments

December 20, 2007

For BBM, From the Okinawa Kenpo Side

Hello BBM Readers! It is my privilege to write for BBM today while she is going through her recovery. I’m sure all of our well wishes are with her!

Just as a quick note – this post will not contain any information about underwear or pimped out crutches; those things are specialties of BBM and I couldn’t possibly encroach on her territory (not to mention I might incur the BBM wrath). But what I WILL try to do is offer something useful in the karate realm.

Holding True with a Wandering Mind
Matthew Apsokardu

One concept I keep running into during my training is balance. Some say yin and yang, others say in and yo. But basically it boils down to giving two opposing forces their fair share. If I train my right hand, I should train my left hand. If I practice punches, I should practice kicks. If I develop my body, I should develop my spirit. You can see how infinite these little examples can be (10,000 conflicts, the Japanese might say). But there is one kind of balance that has struck me lately and I would like to investigate it………

Have you ever found yourself puzzling over a tough math equation, but continuously getting stuck? How about trying to brainstorm an English paper (especially when it’s due the next day), but suffering from crampy writer’s block? I think we’ve all felt the hair tugging frustration these situations invoke. At these moments, it’s likely you do what most people do – get up and give yourself some breathing space. Let your brain air out. And when you sit back down, the problem at hand looks completely different, and not so terrible.

I believe the same can be true for karate.

In general, martial arts training is very gung-ho. We tend to go full-out, 110%. And that’s a good thing. Without that kind of commitment it’s impossible to become truly great at anything. But in karate, just like with the math equation, it’s very easy to run into seemingly insurmountable problems. However, UNLIKE the math equation, many karate practitioners have a hard time stepping back. They feel discouraged at their lack of progress and try to push their material harder and harder.

Consider this visual –

This unfortunate karateka keeps running headlong into that beautifully crafted brick wall. He’s a karate man, so he should be able to pound through it, right? Well…maybe, but what happens if he relaxes for a moment and let’s his mind wrap around the situation –

Look at that! Ohh he’s a quick one.

Seems silly and intuitive, I know. But I actually poke fun at MYSELF with these pictures because it wasn’t until recently when I took a step back from karate that I began to see it in a whole new light. I noticed many awkward, unnatural things I was doing, and how easily I could improve myself. Also, certain solidified concepts in my mind began to merge with floating ideas that I developed outside the dojo. Such combinations would not have occurred without a little bit of distance.

My budo instructor has a saying – "Sometimes martial arts can be like rolling down a train track with blinders on. It’s very easy to chug along, always straight ahead."

I’m tending to agree, more and more. I believe a practitioner should train hard and chip away at all their imperfections, but also take time to step back. Refocus. Reconsider things, especially after they’ve become stagnant with repetition. I’d like to quote another great instructor who has a newsletter called Okinawa No Shorin-Ryu Karate-do Kenkyu-Kai Shimbun. In it, he says – "When the young study karate it is ok for it to be recreational, but, when more mature practitioners train it should be re-creational."

MA
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A Final thought – Some people are given bad situations like BBM – she is forced into a training hiatus due to surgery. But just imagine the amazing opportunity she will have to really examine the way she learns and the way her body changes (especially in mobility) as time passes.

Posted by Ikigai 108 on December 20, 2007 in Guest Post | 1 Comment

December 19, 2007

I’m Alive

I just wanted to pop in and say hi. I came home from the hospital around dinner time last night. They almost kept me another night, but I fought to go home. Monday and Tuesday were easily the two worst and most painful days of my life, but today I felt a little better.

When I’m feeling up to it, I’m going to write it all up for you. Since I know you’re dying to know, I went "commando" for 36 miserable hours, and I couldn’t have cared less who saw my butt. Plenty did; few will live to tell about it. (O.k. that last part’s not true. I’m on heavy pain meds so cut me a break.)

Keep up the great work guest posters! I’ll be back to my blathering self next Monday. Thanks for all your well wishes and emails. They mean the world to me.