Back to Class
Are you old enough to remember the whole break-dancing craze? If you’re reading this blog, chances are that your answer is "yes." I don’t know about you, but I always watched my friends (mostly guys) who could spin around on their backs for what felt like the entire song and do all kinds of other crazy stuff in absolute awe. I was a Roger Rabbit pro for sure. Need some Vanilla Ice, Ice Baby moves? Got those too. But break dancing completely escaped me. I had no clue.
If only I had a capable karate person to help me back in the day. . .
I spent lots of time spinning around on the floor tonight. There were many bunkai questions and after a two week break from being the "attacker", I definitely got my share of wrist locks, take downs and other fun tonight. We spent a lot of time on bunkai and self defense tonight and it felt great to get back in the dojo for the first time since returning from vacation.
Whenever we have a class heavy on self defense, I always come home and try things out on my husband. He’s 6’4" and a fairly big guy. He’s got a lot of upper body strength, especially when compared to my spaghetti arms so it’s always a good test for me when it comes to whether or not I’m using good technique.
I’ll be honest. Many times when I come home and try things out on him, I am discouraged. I get very frustrated with not being able to get it quite right. It is a completely different thing to practice with a person your size at the dojo and then go to someone much bigger at home.
Tonight was not one of those discouraging nights.
While in the course of going through a particular scenario, a question came up as to what to do if a person approaches you and grabs you or your shirt with both hands. Instead of trying to get out of the hold, my instructor took a bigger guy, put his hands over top of the attacker’s hands, held on tight, stepped back and sent the "attacker" flying onto the floor. It was an absolutely awesome move that I haven’t seen before.
I came home, told Mr. BBM to grab my shirt and then I proceeded to take him for a ride.
"That was awesome!" he said. "Man, that really works!"
He was so excited about that move that we ended up working on different things, taking turns as the attacker, for about an hour. And then, towards the end, Mr. BBM asked me to show him some blocking drills again to get them back in his head.
I didn’t think it would happen, but maybe, just maybe, Mr. BBM will come back to karate at some point. I guess he’ll have to if he wants to keep up with me, right?
More Motivated Than Ever
Lately my blog has been more about the "mama" and less about the "black belt". It’s because my training has taken a more introspective turn as of late. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to apply my kata’s and I’ve been spending a lot more time training on my own.
Over the past two weeks, I have worked hard to dust off the kata’s that I haven’t done in a while, both weapons and open hand. You know what they say. . . if you don’t use it you lose it. I’ve been running through all my open hand kata’s every day and trying to make sure that I’m applying proper technique while using good power. I have learned the last two kata’s I will need for black belt, and now just need to work on making them all look great and work well when it comes to bunkai. I’m definitely getting there.
I have a three day training camp coming up this summer. This will be the last one before I’m supposed to test for black belt, so I want to make sure I am polished and sharp for that. There will be lots of important people there and I want to make a good impression.
In addition to kata, I’ve been working a lot on sparring techniques. Sparring becomes a lot easier once you’ve looked thoroughly at the bunkai (application) for kata. You start to see combination moves that are useful for sparring as well as for a real attacker on the streets.
Most of my neighbors know that I take karate, but this week I surprised one of my neighbors when he saw me wielding sai and whipping them around in the backyard. I’ve been getting lots of questions about what exactly those things are and how you use them since then. Several have told me they feel more secure in the neighborhood knowing I’m around. That’s me. Who needs ADT Security when you have BBM right?
I wish I was as confident in my abilities as some of my neighbors are; but I have to say that my confidence has been improving greatly over the past few weeks. The extra time each day spent running through kata’s and learning how to apply them has been of great value, both physically and mentally.
In addition to the karate, I’m going to make it a goal to continue with the pilates training which will definitely help with flexibility and core muscle strength. I’m also going to make it more of a habit to do some light weight-lifting.
I’ll be leaving for my annual trek to the beach, and I’m thinking that I might try to run a bit while I’m at the beach too. It’s always easier to run at the beach than it is at home, so if I start there, maybe I can continue the habit once I return home.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this motivated to train, and the hard work feels really good. . . bumps, bruises, sore muscles and all.
Sparring is Mental and Blood is Cool
I don’t suck at sparring.
One simple statement and it makes a world of difference. I feel like I’ve rounded a corner in my training. I feel like I had a major break last night. When I arrived for class, we were told to gear up. Instead of filling up with dread and doubt, I made a conscious effort to do the opposite. I gave myself a pep talk.
"You are going to go out there and spar. You are not going to apologize while sparring. You are not going to doubt yourself. You are not going to plan your moves. You are going to watch, react, and attack based on what your gut is telling you, not your brain. You are going to spar and you are going to do it well."
And then I went out on the floor and ran through some drills. I had a rare opportunity to work with another brown belt. We worked on some kicking and punching drills. After we were warmed up, we did tournament style sparring with three judges. Since I have never attended a tournament (and probably never will) I asked for clarification on the rules and what constitutes a point. And then, contrary to what I do every other time I spar, I made no action plans. I forced myself to stay open mentally and concentrated on just being there and being in the moment.
I first sparred against the other brown belt. I wanted to be nervous. She has sparred in tournaments and I know she has done well. I forced myself to not think about it.
I used front leg kicks and back fists to the head. At one point I got a kick up to her head. I sort of shocked myself. I got the first point; she got the second and then I got two more. My instructor and another black belt complimented me on my going in high and my front leg kicks. Those compliments felt so good.
At one point my instructor stopped the match and went in to spar with my opponent to give her some tips against my long arms. Both of the black belts told her that she wasn’t going to outreach me, so they gave her some tips on what to do instead. Apparently there are some benefits to having primate arms.
After sparring with her, they asked me to choose another opponent and I chose a second degree black belt who I’ve never sparred before. He gave me some good advice on how to further utilize the front leg kicks and turn them into combination moves.
Later I sparred against my fifth degree black belt instructor. In my early days of karate, I used to follow him around the floor and kick him in the butt. Please don’t read that as "kick his butt" because "kicking someone’s butt" and "kicking someone in the butt" are two very different things. His stance is completely sideways and there are no openings to be easily found. So, I would throw kicks up and just kick his butt because that’s all he gave me. It’s a pretty ineffective way of sparring. Last night I was better than the early days, but still not great. I definitely need to work on strategy for sparring against someone whose stance is sideways.
Mr. BBM tends to spar straight on and so I’ve come up with techniques to work against that. Sideways is more difficult because trying to open a person up tends to get me side-kicked. I’ll have to work on that.
What I don’t need to work on is my new attitude towards sparring. I was able to talk the nerves down enough to just go with it. I kept repeating "sparring is mental" to myself. And if my performance last night is any indication, I think my new mantra is dead on.
I’m not the only person who made progress this week. Big I’s progress was astounding to me. She still doesn’t have her kata nailed down yet, but she’s had a bit of an attitude adjustment too; and it’s one that I’m thrilled about.
At the BBM household, there is always a lot of laundry. Big I will get a small water droplet on her shirt and immediately go change. Piece of fuzz that doesn’t come right off? Outfit change. Tiny little dirt spot on her sock after playing outside??? Wardrobe malfunction! New outfit required immediately.
Last week, Big I got a brush burn on her knee. At karate this week, she bumped the healing scrape and a few little droplets of blood appeared on her gi pants. I was fully expecting a meltdown, complete with demands to let her change immediately. She showed me the blood and I shrugged it off with a smile.
"You have blood on your gi!?!" I exclaimed. "Yes," she answered with an unsure look on her face. "Wow! That’s cool. You officially have a cool gi now Big I." She responded with, "Since I have blood on my gi, does that make me tough?"
"Absolutely!" I said. She got the biggest grin on her face and spent the rest of class admiring her blood stains. It was another proud Mommy moment. . . one that didn’t end with an immediate need for laundry detergent. We have obviously both taken a positive turn in our training.
Sparring is mental; and blood is indeed very cool.
Surprise Promotion
When I arrived at karate class tonight I was expecting some kata, waza, and maybe some self defense. After a two week hiatus due to the cess pool of germs that is my house, I was feeling rusty and anxious to get back in the swing of things. What I wasn’t expecting was a promotion, but that’s just what I got.
1st kyu feels very surreal. Surreal because I wasn’t expecting this until June or September, and surreal because my next test will be for black belt. It just doesn’t seem possible because I feel like I have so much more to learn.
I envisioned my testing for 1st kyu as very polished and a step-up from my other testing performances. But truth be told, I’ve been working on my own to learn the last two kata’s I need for Shodan and the three I needed for 1st kyu felt like they needed to be dusted off a bit.
Testing was a bit informal this time around and promotions were moved up because two of our instructors are injured enough to require surgery within the next few weeks. They didn’t know if they would be up for testing in June, so it happened now.
The only problem with tonight was Big I. We have been working on Big I’s material at home with a hopeful promotion in either June or September to green belt. With t-ball and end of the year Kindergarten activities, she hasn’t been practicing as much as she should be and she was not at all ready for green belt.
Big I has been taking karate for three years now. Tonight she watched other students who have been there for much less time get promoted to her rank and beyond. I talked to her during class, as did my instructors, and told her that she has time to learn this kata the way it should be learned and that they will test her this summer. Her response was that she didn’t want to wait; but really, that was the only thing that made sense. She’s simply not ready.
I thought she was o.k. with this right up until we got in the car to come home. Before she was even buckled she began to sob. "I really want my green belt," she cried, and I felt horrible for her. But then I told her what one of my instructor’s told me a few weeks ago. She said that when I go to black belt testing I will "take my black belt" instead of "testing for black belt" meaning that I will walk in there knowing my stuff so well that the only option is to promote me to Shodan.
I asked her how she would feel if she was given a green belt without earning it. I asked her to think about how good it will feel to get that belt after she’s tested and done everything right. After a good long cry she came around, but still insisted she was very sad.
I told her to turn that sadness into motivation to learn, so that she can go into the dojo in another month or so and "take her green belt." It was horrible as her Mom to see her so upset; but I think that she will look back on this disappointment as a very good lesson for life. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, or how quickly anyone else is being promoted or moving along in this world. The only thing that really matters is where she’s going and how she’s going to get there. Although she didn’t necessarily choose this path for herself, in the end she will have learned about discipline, determination, and eventually, how good it feels to succeed. And that is certainly a lesson worth learning.
No Karate=Momzilla
Filed under: Mental Strain for Mama, Tales from the dojo
I can not ever miss an entire week of karate again. I become a Momzilla when I don’t get my fill of punches, kicks and kata. I went to karate tonight after a week hiatus; and I feel like a new woman.
My instructor looked at most of my open hand kata’s tonight. After she found so many things to fix in Nai Hanchi Shodan, I was worried. My worry was unnecessary, because some kata’s got a nod of approval without needing to change a thing. I have my problem kata’s and I have some things to work on, but I feel like I’m in pretty good shape at this point. I haven’t felt like that in a long time.
I need to learn my last two kata’s (Seisan and Nakamura No Sai), and then I will know most of what I need to for black belt testing.
Of course, don’t ask me about bunkai (application). That’s an entirely different story.
And since I mentioned it, an entirely different story. . .
I took Big I to a birthday party this weekend. I ended up hanging out with some of the other Mom’s while the kids were off doing what kids do at birthday parties. One Mom was telling me that her daughter is unable to have play dates during the week because she doesn’t get home until 3:30 in the afternoon. Most of Big I’s classmates are in full day Kindergarten. Big I is half day, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, I casually agreed with this Mom that full day is a long day and that it would be next to impossible to have any play dates during the week. I said that it hadn’t even occurred to me that full day kids couldn’t really have play dates, because Big I is half day. It was a friendly, casual conversation.
This is when another Mom, who wasn’t part of the original conversation started blurting out things like, "My daughter was ready for full day" and "She likes being in school all day long" and "When she’s at home she tells me how bored she is" and "She likes to be able to spend all day with her friends because they get more time to play" and "Even when it’s the weekend my daughter tells me that she wishes she was in school."
What she really meant was, "I chose full day Kindergarten and full day Kindergarten is THE BEST!"
What I want to known is why these Mom’s feel it’s necessary to do that. I think half day Kindergarten is the way to go, but do I tell the full day Mom’s that my decision is the best and only decision to make and that they’re wrong? No. It’s an individual choice. Some mothers have to work all day long or choose to do so. I am fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with my kids. I have not once ever made a comment to any of the other Mom’s about half day being better. Yet every time I am around many of the full day Mom’s, they do this to me. It’s almost like they feel that it’s their duty to let me know that by not sending my child to full day Kindergarten, I’m basically neglecting her.
As this Mom was on her manic tirade of "full day is the BEST" crap, I felt like interrupting her and saying "I’m so glad you don’t have any guilt about sending your kid off for the entire day, because Man, I totally would." I should have said it and walked away to let her put that in her pipe and smoke it. I just don’t understand why they feel they have to justify their decision constantly if they truly think that full day is the best way. They’re not going to convince me I chose the wrong option for my child.
Last week, Big I had a play date with another half day kid and she had a blast. While she was playing games, making cupcakes and playing dress-up, the full day kids were in school doing what they always do.
I know I made the right decision for our family. Why can’t the other Mom’s feel confident enough in their decisions to just leave me alone with mine?
Maybe if I had my normal dose of karate last week, those comments wouldn’t have irritated me so much. Then again, comments like that tend to turn me into an instant Momzilla anyway. I doubt it would have had any impact.
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