A new “baby”
My Mother’s Day gift arrived in the mail last week. When I opened the box and unpacked all the styrofoam peanuts, what greeted me was a miniature tree, a bonsai tree. The card was from "your karate kids" and it was a sweet and thoughtful gift. Once I had the delicate tree out of the box, I saw a sheet of paper at the bottom of the box.
The sheet was single-spaced, and typed on both front and back. . . the instructions for my bonsai tree’s care. For most plants, the care instructions can be fit on something the size of a small bookmark, but for the bonsai. . .
-Watering is crucial, but don’t over-water and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don’t under-water.
-Sunlight is crucial, but not too much direct sunlight and you better have a window that faces south or else the Bonsai Police are coming to take you away!
-Bonsai tree’s do best outside, but ONLY when there is no threat of frost. Bringing the plant inside once it starts to get cool again is a gradual process. You actually have to bring the tree in for a few hours at a time to reacclimate the tree. Talking to the tree to let it know it’s going to be o.k is highly recommended (o.k. I added that last part).
After reading the entire two pages, I started wishing the box contained a massage therapist instead, and started feeling like I now had three very temperamental children to care for. And then, right at the end of the second detailed page? A recommendation to buy the book about the complete care of the bonsai tree, because really, these two pages are just the basics.
I’m including a picture of my bonsai tree now, because this is probably the best it will ever look.
Mr. Miyagi, where are you????
Renaming blog
I think I need to rename my blog. Lately this place has been less about karate and more about sickness. I’m thinking I should rename it "Barfed on Mama" or "Co-pay Blues" or something. I was unable to make it to class again.
We got back from the hospital about two hours ago. Lil C is very sick. She spiked a fever of 105.4 today after her nap and had me an absolute wreck. The doctor couldn’t see her until this evening. He checked her out thoroughly and decided to do a blood count. No big deal right? A finger stick and done, except Lil C’s finger stick turned into two finger sticks. When they wanted to do a third after she had thrown up all over the exam room, my husband and I said "NO!".
The doctor came in, agreed with our decision and sent us to the hospital to rule out pneumonia. The x-ray process was a nightmare. Imagine a 19 month old baby being strapped into a plastic tube with her arms straight above her head. I almost cried, but I knew I had to try to keep her from being a complete wreck. My efforts were futile, but the x-ray came back negative.
Tomorrow, we fill a prescription to combat the beginnings of an ear infection and hope that the rest of this stuff is just viral.
Of course, you know what that means right?
You’ll also be able to label this blog, "Black Belt Mama Barfs". One thing is for sure; I’ll either be cleaning it up or throwing up at some point this week.
And note to self: In the future, skip feeding ill child spinach. . . and I thought spaghetti was bad.
Backorder Bummer
I haven’t ordered anything from Victoria Secret in a long time, so I forgot how entertaining it is talking to the customer service people there.
Back when I was in college, I called to order a swimsuit. I placed my order and was ready with my credit card, but then the guy (because the VS customer service people are all guys it seems) says, "You know what would look really good with that swimsuit?" Like an idiot, I indulged him and before I knew it I got a box the size of Texas in the mail complete with my swimsuit, underwear, shorts, sweatshirt, cover-up and about eight other tops.
How did that happen? Easily. Take one customer service GUY who says things like "You’d look hot in that", add one insecure college girl and you’ve got a credit card disaster in the making.
This morning, I logged onto Victoria Secret and ordered my swimsuit and then the computer told me that it was backordered. Not only was it backordered in black; it was also backordered in emerald, red and pink. It will not ship until May 24th so Memorial Day weekend at the beach will be spent watching the festivities from the sidelines, unless I can dig in my drawer and find something suitable.
I hate that you go through the whole ordering process only to find out at the end of the process that your swimsuit is currently being harvested from some spandex field in Thailand or something. I started over several times with many different swimsuits and came to the conclusion that every swimsuit is backordered until about October, so it was pointless. I had no idea there was a worldwide shortage of appropriate swimsuit material. Someone should really be looking into this and making women aware in December so we could plan ahead. I’m just going to have to take my chances that the one I want will come in early or just deal.
I also had to call VS this morning to ask a question about sizing. I got a male customer service representative and he asked for the item number. Once he found my tankini, he exclaimed, "Ooh, that’s cute!" I mumbled something about hoping it would look as cute on me; and he saw an opportunity. "Oh, I’m sure it will. You’re hot! This is a camera phone."
Back in my college days, I probably would have blushed and then purchased about $300 worth of clothing and other crap I didn’t need and couldn’t afford. Today I said, "Yeah? Well if this was a camera phone, then you would know that I am still in my oversized pajamas, haven’t washed my hair in a few days, and I look and feel like crap." Then I coughed. I think he was convinced, because he laughed and then mumbled something about finding that sizing chart. He knew his cover was blown.
This morning, it may have taken me three hours to order my swimsuit, but at least all I ordered was a swimsuit and it might even be here by August.
This just in. . . Lindsay Lohan’s Mom is currently burning up the phone lines trying to get the co-host job on The View. Was there ever more of a reason to email Barbara for me????
A Certainty of Parenthood
If there is one thing you can count on as a parent, it’s this: When you plan to get your child/ren’s pictures taken, they will inevitably take a header on the sidewalk and end up with a brush burn on the forehead and a bruise on the nose.
I had Lil C outside for hours yesterday. She flicked dirt into her eyes a couple times while "helping" me plant "flowfers". She fell down on her knees a couple times and did some minor damage to the backs of her little legs as she was doing the sit, scoot, boom down concrete stairs because she was in too much of a hurry to wait for me to take off my dirty gardening gloves. Over all, the damage was relatively minor.
But Mr. BBM takes the child outside for all of five minutes tonight and the screaming erupts. I don’t know. I think Mom’s must have this built-in ability to sense when their child is about to fall. She fell many times yesterday, but beside a few bumps on the knee, it was nothing that was going to deter me from having her pictures taken. Tonight’s injury is a whole different ball game, so her 18 month pictures are quickly becoming her 19 month pictures. Either that or I just accept that I have a bruiser for a child and just go through with it anyway with a pink bow in her hair and a welt on the head to match.
Edited to add: Two days later, this is where we’re at with these boo-boo’s. . .
I think my only hope of getting her pictures taken before summer is to put her in a hockey jersey. Now if Big I could just lose a tooth. . . that would be a picture.
No Karate=Momzilla
Filed under: Mental Strain for Mama, Tales from the dojo
I can not ever miss an entire week of karate again. I become a Momzilla when I don’t get my fill of punches, kicks and kata. I went to karate tonight after a week hiatus; and I feel like a new woman.
My instructor looked at most of my open hand kata’s tonight. After she found so many things to fix in Nai Hanchi Shodan, I was worried. My worry was unnecessary, because some kata’s got a nod of approval without needing to change a thing. I have my problem kata’s and I have some things to work on, but I feel like I’m in pretty good shape at this point. I haven’t felt like that in a long time.
I need to learn my last two kata’s (Seisan and Nakamura No Sai), and then I will know most of what I need to for black belt testing.
Of course, don’t ask me about bunkai (application). That’s an entirely different story.
And since I mentioned it, an entirely different story. . .
I took Big I to a birthday party this weekend. I ended up hanging out with some of the other Mom’s while the kids were off doing what kids do at birthday parties. One Mom was telling me that her daughter is unable to have play dates during the week because she doesn’t get home until 3:30 in the afternoon. Most of Big I’s classmates are in full day Kindergarten. Big I is half day, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, I casually agreed with this Mom that full day is a long day and that it would be next to impossible to have any play dates during the week. I said that it hadn’t even occurred to me that full day kids couldn’t really have play dates, because Big I is half day. It was a friendly, casual conversation.
This is when another Mom, who wasn’t part of the original conversation started blurting out things like, "My daughter was ready for full day" and "She likes being in school all day long" and "When she’s at home she tells me how bored she is" and "She likes to be able to spend all day with her friends because they get more time to play" and "Even when it’s the weekend my daughter tells me that she wishes she was in school."
What she really meant was, "I chose full day Kindergarten and full day Kindergarten is THE BEST!"
What I want to known is why these Mom’s feel it’s necessary to do that. I think half day Kindergarten is the way to go, but do I tell the full day Mom’s that my decision is the best and only decision to make and that they’re wrong? No. It’s an individual choice. Some mothers have to work all day long or choose to do so. I am fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with my kids. I have not once ever made a comment to any of the other Mom’s about half day being better. Yet every time I am around many of the full day Mom’s, they do this to me. It’s almost like they feel that it’s their duty to let me know that by not sending my child to full day Kindergarten, I’m basically neglecting her.
As this Mom was on her manic tirade of "full day is the BEST" crap, I felt like interrupting her and saying "I’m so glad you don’t have any guilt about sending your kid off for the entire day, because Man, I totally would." I should have said it and walked away to let her put that in her pipe and smoke it. I just don’t understand why they feel they have to justify their decision constantly if they truly think that full day is the best way. They’re not going to convince me I chose the wrong option for my child.
Last week, Big I had a play date with another half day kid and she had a blast. While she was playing games, making cupcakes and playing dress-up, the full day kids were in school doing what they always do.
I know I made the right decision for our family. Why can’t the other Mom’s feel confident enough in their decisions to just leave me alone with mine?
Maybe if I had my normal dose of karate last week, those comments wouldn’t have irritated me so much. Then again, comments like that tend to turn me into an instant Momzilla anyway. I doubt it would have had any impact.
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