Of Bruised Butts and Egos
I've had ER visits for myself while on vacation in the past. I've had ER and Urgent Care visits for one particular daughter as well. I've been stung by jellyfish en masse while trying to windsurf (that was pre-blog). I've hurt my back while playing volleyball on the beach. But until today, I've never made a complete and total idiot out of myself. . .
Wait. . . I used to do karaoke while on vacation.
Ok, let me rephrase. I've never made a complete and total idiot out of myself while also injuring myself on vacation. . . until today.
We went to the aquarium this morning and the girls had a blast. After, we stopped at a restaurant for lunch. Located back on the bay and as part of a condo area, it's not ever busy and the food is always fantastic. We chose a table overlooking a marina and had a rather uneventful lunch.
Then Lil C started getting antsy. She was out of her chair and back in her chair. The chairs were very flimsy and light and I kept warning her to be careful. One wiggle in the wrong direction and she was going to knock the chair completely over. At one point, Mr. BBM tickled her a bit and she went flying backwards. I caught her by her nose and gave her two scratches on her face with my fingernail. I figured it was better than her landing on her head and knocking everything over. I think she agreed.
While we were waiting for our desserts, Lil C announced to the four occupied tables in the restaurant that she had to go to the bathroom. I took her and left my purse behind, hanging over the back of the chair. We returned to the table and Lil C was bouncing all over the place; and I was worried that she was going to knock her chair over or fall.
"Be careful Lil C. You're going to knock your chair over. Please just sit down. Your dessert is coming."
And then it happened. Apparently I have entirely too much crap in my purse because the weight of it knocked my chair backwards just as I was surrendering to taking a seat. There was no hesitation, not even a "whoops" moment as I had committed to the sit, didn't realize the chair was already on its way over, and I was going to go with it.
Mr. BBM says he looked at Lil C, heard a "woah!" come from me and looked up to find I wasn't there anymore. Instead I had taken a hard sit on the floor landing on my right butt cheek. My lower back had a brief, although painful, encounter with the jagged wooden edge of the seat of the chair on the way down and I landed in a heap of hurt.
A table of women behind me started having a fit, asking me if I was ok and telling me I needed a bag of ice. I gingerly rubbed my back and told them I think I needed a glass of wine instead. No one laughed (at least not at the time) because I think they were more concerned that I was hurt. It caused quite a bit of commotion. Truth be told, my butt was throbbing and my back was killing me. I lifted up the back of my shirt and asked Big I if I was bleeding. She said "yes" and I went off to look at the damage in the bathroom. There was no blood on the surface. It was all underneath, a three inch long by one inch wide mark on my spine that was already painful to touch. We won't even discuss my butt. I'm just glad I landed on one cheek and not my tailbone.
Our waitress delivered my coconut cream pie with a ganache bottom on it just as I was reestablishing myself in my chair.
"Here" she said, "this will make it better."
I came home, fell asleep on the beach in my chair and woke up in a world of pain. My whole spine hurts and my neck is all messed up too. And man does my butt hurt. I can't imagine tomorrow is going to feel good.
I've spent the entire week swearing off tennis, refusing to play in the waves, and being super careful about not walking into a ditch in the sand while on the beach. This just goes to show that if the universe has it out for it, it's going to get you, one way or another.
If you're not afraid to make an idiot out of yourself for public consumption, then consider entering the Summer Serenade contest! It's simple. Lip sync or actually sing a song, record yourself and send the video to me. See details and participants on the Summer Serenade page in the sidebar!
Relief
Filed under: Mental Strain for Mama, Tales from the dojo
Last night Big I auditioned for a play. She did one of these productions two summers ago and it was grueling. They practice Monday through Thursday, 6-9 and the director is very serious about the play. Although the kids love her when it's all over, during the actual process of getting ready, even the parents are sometimes on edge. It's a lot of work and it's a lot of stress.
When Big I did it before, it felt like our summer was gone. After five weeks of non-stop rehearsing and then a weekend of performing, we had a month left before school started. Still, if Big I enjoys acting and singing, then I thought I shouldn't deprive her of the opportunity.
Auditions started at 6 last night and after dancing, singing, and acting portions, she was finally finished at 9 p.m. It was a very long night.
I took her to the audition and they started with dancing. The only thing I could compare this part of the audition to, would be like someone showing you a kata two times and then asking you to do it on your own. The poor kid had trouble following along and I wanted to just whisk her off the stage and erase her memory of it. Fortunately she wasn't the only one having trouble. Dancing like a marionette isn't going to happen after a mere 10 minutes of instruction.
Then came singing. I stayed for half of it and then headed out to the dojo. Mr. BBM said her group of four did well and for that I was relieved. Mr. BBM said she also did well reading her lines for the acting portion. He said she read every word perfectly and you could hear her, but she didn't really "act" it out so much. Keep in mind that the youngest allowed to audition is eight. Big I is eight.
On the way home from auditions, she told Mr. BBM she had a dilemma. She knows that if she does this play, she can forget leisurely evenings at the pool. She can forget doing tennis or swim lessons; and she's going to have to miss a week of ju-jutsu too. She decided that she's not going to do it this summer. Instead she thought she'd audition for the spring play. To say I'm relieved would be the understatement of the century. The month of June is already packed for us; rehearsals every night would just about kill us.
I have to give the kid props though. I doubt I would have had the guts to get up there the way she's done twice, once when she was only 6 years old!
I'm relieved that we'll have our summer back, but now I'm looking for relief of another kind.
Yesterday, I was looking for something in the basement, moved a box without moving the ones in front of it and tweaked my lower back. If I'm standing I'm fine. If I lay down I'm fine; but sitting is a different story.
I walked in to karate last night and told Big I's Danzan Ryu Ju-Jutsu instructor who was teaching downstairs that I was hurting and he disappeared outside to his car. He came back in with a chinese analgesic that you rub on your sore spot and wait to dry. He gave strict instructions for me to pass along to Mr. BBM when putting it on me, "Don't touch your eyes and don't 'adjust' yourself until after you wash your hands." I woke Mr. BBM up last night when I rolled in from the dojo around 11 p.m. to put it on me.
Today I feel slightly better but not much. Sitting is still killing me. What I love about Big I doing ju-jutsu is that Danzan Ryu practitioners learn how to hurt people, but they also learn the healing arts. It's an interesting combination and one that Big I's Sensei takes very seriously. He told me that if I'm not better soon, he'd work on my back a bit.
In Kyoshi Bill Hayes' book "My Journey with the Grandmaster" he talks about training hard and then going to get fixed back up with long soaks and massage. I can't help feeling like this should be a crucial part of modern day training. Maybe those sore spots wouldn't happen as often and maybe that was the key to longevity in the arts.
If I could just convince Mr. BBM to go get certified in the healing arts. . .
Why You Shouldn’t EVER Give Your Little Ones Hard Candy
After a sweaty but productive morning at karate, we went to the country club across the street from our neighborhood today and joined. As we were heading to the car after joining and talking about going home and changing into our swim suits, Lil C put a hard candy in her mouth that the woman had given her inside.
The next thing I knew, she was choking.
At first she was coughing a bit, but I could tell she was having trouble. Then she stopped coughing and there was no sound, only the startled look on her face that was also now on my face. I grabbed her and gave her the heimlich maneuver and she started making sounds again, managing to get out a little cough here and there. But it was like the candy would get lodged in her throat and then come up a bit, and then get lodged back in there again.
I was starting to really panic, and Mr. BBM ran around the car to help. She stopped making sounds again and Mr. BBM grabbed her and gave her the heimlich again. This time she started making choking and coughing sounds accompanied by some gagging. The only thoughts going through my head during this short ordeal that felt like it was hours, was "What if it doesn't work? What if we can't get this candy out?" I started to think that maybe I should grab my cell phone and call 911, but I knew that no ambulance would be able to get there on time. We either got it out on our own, or she was going to choke and die. I was going to become the poster Mom for not giving your kids hard candy.
I picked her up because she was making sounds and I thought that she had swallowed the candy instead of spitting it back up. The next thing I knew, she burped this horrible burp, gagged and threw up the complimentary potato chips and pretzels and along with it came the bright red hard candy that I thought was going to take my little girl.
With the candy glaring at us from the parking lot, I cleaned Lil C up, and then started shaking. My heart was racing and now that she was ok, I felt like I needed to sit down. Instead, I knelt down and hugged her like I never have before. It was truly one of the scariest moments of my life; and I hope I don't ever have to repeat it.
Lil C and I have decided that there will be no more hard candy for her ever again. After spending the rest of the afternoon watching her play at the pool and not letting her out of my sight, and stopping to hug her constantly, I now know there is no such thing as a harmless piece of hard candy. She's had it a few times in the past few months, but she won't be having it anymore.
And Mommy? Mommy needs a martini. Stat.
The Nun and the Bomb Disabler
This week, Big I came home with a big announcement. A couple weeks ago, all the 2nd graders took a writing test. It had something to do with the state tests. The other day, they got their scores. Most of the students scored either "basic"or "proficient" but Big I's test didn't have a score on it. Her teacher made an announcement that there was one student who had a writing test so perfect that it had been shared with all the other teachers. She asked Big I to stand up and told her that she was the only one who had scored "advanced." Apparently, she didn't have a single mistake in the story she wrote. Not one.
To say I'm proud of her is the understatement of the century. I can't for the life of me figure out where she got such awesome writing genes though.
On the same day, Lil C brought me a Mickey Mouse movie she wanted to watch. There was only one problem; she had snapped the DVD in half. Later, when I went to put a different movie on for her, I picked up the DVD remote to find that she had also snapped off the battery cover so that it will no longer stay on. She was definitely in one of her destructive modes; and I was scared to see what would be next.
I didn't have to wait long. I opened up the powder room cabinet to get a box of tissues out and saw that half a box of tampons had been completely unwrapped, and pulled apart into their varying pieces. They fell out of the cabinet in a rush as if there had been a tampon explosion or something.
She is forever taking things apart; and Big I is forever trying to put the pieces back together. When the girls color, Lil C sits there taking the paper off of each crayon, while Big I freaks out and tries to put them back on. Lil C wants all the dolls undressed and rearranged. She likes to take their pony tails out too, which drives Big I to near hysteria. Lil C will take paper, tissues, whatever and shred it until it looks like there's been a ticker tape parade in the house, while Big I has a fit that there is stuff everywhere. Lil C is forever loosening knobs on drawers, and taking pens completely apart so she can examine the springs and guts of the pen. There isn't a remote or toy in the house that hasn't been taken apart and then put back together in some crazy way.
If someone were to ask me what I think the future holds for my girls, I would probably say that I think Big I will either be a nun or a writer/artist or both.
With skills like Lil C has, I'm thinking she will probably have a future disabling bombs.
***Do you have mad lip syncing skills? Even better, can you sing like an American Idol? If so, consider entering the Summer Serenade contest! Entries are due by 7/1 and more details can be found by clicking here.
Leaving the Door Cracked
On Monday, I gave one of Lil C's car seats to a neighbor whose son had barfed all over his seat. We had been outside playing on Sunday and the words, "you can have ours" just blurted out. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but for me, it's monumental. I have a basement packed with baby things that I can't seem to part with. I have every onesie, stained or not. I have every toy and every shoe that either of my kids ever wore. I have, on occasion, given things to my cousin, but only to borrow. I've always asked for my baby things back.
Since I got married, I always wanted to have three kids. My husband is one of three in his family and I like the slightly bigger family. If one sibling is weird, hey, you still have another right? My family has always done things in two's and I wanted to break out of that trend.
After the way Big I came into this world, violently taking my body apart, one stretch mark and tear at a time, it's amazing I didn't decide to stop right there. But as she grew up, I knew I wanted a baby in the house again. The first time around, you're so busy worrying that you're not doing everything right that you don't truly take the time to relax and enjoy it.
I didn't think Lil C was ever going to happen. Mr. BBM was traveling all the time and it takes two to tango. After over a year of that dreaded word, "trying" I figured it was a lost cause. When I gave up, I got pregnant and I was so excited. I decided to eliminate all the medical drama and have a midwife deliver her at a birth center.
Then, half way through the pregnancy, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. My joyful pregnancy turned into one of worry. I cried all the time and prayed for two things: a healthy baby and that the diabetes would go away when it was all over. My Mom's never went away when she had her second baby. She has an insulin pump and a blood sugar sensor on her person at all times. There have been low blood sugars and subsequent ambulance calls and car accidents. I spent a lot of my childhood terrified because of those few times I came home to find my Mom unconscious. I didn't want that for my kids and I didn't want that for me.
Lil C's birth experience wasn't exactly where I had hoped it would be (the Director of Maternal Fetal Medicine scared me into having a hospital birth), but the experience my midwife made sure I had was an amazing one. She kept the medical business out of the experience for me as much as possible. She left me push in the dark without making my knees touch my ears. I practically delivered Lil C myself. Although during the contractions, I swore (literally) and swore I was done; after that amazing experience I wasn't so sure. I've kept the door cracked all these years, terrified to try and find out I can't. Terrified to get pregnant and then get diabetes again; maybe this time for good.
I've had two good friends of mine lose babies in recent months during varying stages of pregnancy, and the weight of that has been crushing. However, my entire street in our new development is in baby making mode and two neighbors have given birth to healthy baby boys in the past three months. The one baby and I have become particularly good friends.
When he wakes from naps on nice afternoons, he spends some time smiling at me while hanging out on my lap. The other day, as I dropped the car seat off at my neighbor's across the street, his daddy was frustrated that he wouldn't take his bottle or stop crying. I gave his Dad a break, cradled him and got him to take his bottle on the first try, while he patted my back with his little fist and held onto my pinky with his other little hand. For the first time in a long time, I thought to myself, "I could do this again." It's just the getting through the pregnancy in one piece that I doubt I can handle again.
I like the freedom that having older kids gives you. I like being able to go out when I get a babysitter and I'm happy to have my body back to myself. After about four years of combined pregnancy and nursing, that's one part I wouldn't be anxious about going back to again.
Over the weekend, we took the girls to see the movie Up. It was a fantastic movie and it was preceded by a short movie that was absolutely adorable. In it, there are storks delivering human babies and animals. I couldn't help to think to myself how nice it would be if one could get a baby delivered like that, without 9 months of being scared you'll end up with the disease you've watched your Mom deal with for years, and without thousands in adoption costs and worldwide travel.
For now, I'm going to borrow my neighbor's son when I'm feeling the baby itch, and I'm still keeping that door cracked, even if just a bit. After all, if a stork happens to drop a baby on my porch, I need to be ready.
***This summer there are some exciting things going on here at Black Belt Mama. Please consider entering the Summer Serenade contest. Details can be found by clicking here. While you're at it, mark the weekend of June 26th on your calendar. Big announcements and changes are coming soon!
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