PT for Everyone!
I once had to take the girls with me to PT, but it was only for about 10 minutes. Mr. BBM showed up and took them home before they had the chance to do any serious damage. Since then, they’ve asked if they could go along with me from time to time. It’s like they think they serve ice cream there or something. Yesterday, they had to go for the full almost two hours. It was as if I brought live entertainment to the PT room.
When we arrived, it was packed. Spring must be surgery season. Four tables were filled up leaving one for me. Several people were also circuiting through their exercise routines. I set the girls up on a low padded table that no one ever uses. Mickey Mouse Park came out of Lil C’s bag along with all of her Mickey Mouse Clubhouse characters. Big I got to work on her homework.
Lil C felt it necessary to unpack her entire entertainment bag so in no time at all the rather large table was littered with Dora diapers, Mickey characters and a random Teddy Graham or eight. Like the angel that she is, Big I was quiet and completed her homework without making a peep. Then there was Lil C.
Always needing to be the center of attention, she started talking and loudly right away. She had to confirm everything that was happening to Mommy’s knee. "You laying down now Mommy?"; "You putting heat on your knee Mommy?"; "You all done yet Mommy?" she asked me every 10 minutes or so. The other patients smiled with amusement at her boisterous and talkative manner. When my PT asked me if I wanted some reading material, I refused. "I left it at home for a reason," I told him. "She could turn into a little devil in no time at all."
Things got entertaining when Big I finished up her homework and got out her two new library books. One of them was a dinosaur book. Big I began turning the pages and showing the pictures to Lil C. It was super quiet at the time so Lil C’s very loud, "Oh Wow! Look at the Dio-Whore" echoed around the room. Everyone sort of stopped what they were doing and looked at her and then at me.
"Yes," I confirmed from the floor where I was doing some stretching, "she said ‘dio-whore’. That’s what she calls them." An eruption of laughter took hold of the room and even the poor guy fresh from surgery laughed until he almost cried. Realizing she was a "hit," Lil C continued to talk about "dio-whores" for the next 15 minutes.
Then she made friends. One of my PT buddies came in with her older daughter and they made the mistake of engaging Lil C in conversation. She spent the next hour talking to them loudly, telling them all about her Mickey guys, sharing the fact that she had burped with them, and even going so far as to make her Mickey characters use the one woman’s head as a sliding board.
She also played some April Fool’s jokes which she learned like a pro from her sister earlier in the week and told several people "you have a bunch of bugs on your head." She was a real hit.
With 15 minutes left in my routine, she decided she was bored and ready to go home. She packed the important things up into her bag, leaving behind her diapers and random Teddy Grahams and dragged her filled up bag towards the door.
"I am going home," she announced with a pout on her face. She spent the last 10 minutes of our visit to PT glaring at me as I walked backwards on the treadmill. When I was finally done, there was Teddy Graham carnage to be cleaned from the table, and two very bored kids. I highly doubt there will be much interest in accompanying me back to PT anytime soon. It’s certainly lost its allure for them.
It hasn’t for me though. I hit 154 degrees yesterday. Only one more to go.
The Truth about Working from Home
As I emailed a fee agreement to a potential new client this morning, Lil C whined in her booster seat that she had cinnamon on her jammies, that she wanted more cereal (even though she still had a bowl full), and that she was "sirsty" having just downed her cup of milk. When I asked her if she could just wait one minute for Mommy to finish emailing something for work, she yelled "NO!" at the top of her lungs and continued to whine. For all I know, I may have sent an email that says, "Attached please find the fee agreement as requested. Now sit down and finish your cereal!" It’s entirely possible.
I started working from home as a recruiter when Big I was about two years old. It was challenging. Although I made my own hours, I was learning a new industry from scratch. The fact that the job was commission only made it even more challenging. After five months of busting my butt and begging Big I to please watch a movie so Mommy could call a candidate quick, I got my first placement and paycheck. I was hooked.
For a stay at home Mom, recruiting was great money. . . if you had the time and effort to put into it. With one child, it was challenging; with two it’s downright impossible sometimes. However, the money that can be made with only a placement or two a year is much better than if I had a part time job out of the house. So, I do it. I work on my laptop from home, frequently with the Disney Channel as my background music. Instead of coffee breaks, we have diaper changing breaks and time to pick Big I up from school breaks.
This week, Mr. BBM has been away on business and it has been rough. I used to be accustomed to him traveling all the time. Now big trips throw us for a major loop. Mr. BBM takes care of getting the girls their baths and into bed each night. That’s my work time. When he’s not here, work doesn’t happen. This week, I have four new job orders to fill and a potential new client to make happy as well. Instead I’ve been falling asleep in cribs and just trying to keep up with the colossal mess that little girls make faster than you can say "fairy princess."
In the past few years, I have negotiated fee agreements in my bathroom with a locked door, knowing that might be the only peaceful place in the whole house that wouldn’t erupt in a temper tantrum at some point. Sometimes, one or both of the girls would bang on the door of my hideout and I’d have to negotiate faster. I’ve placed candidates with cats and kids on my lap. When people talk about their office jobs and the "distractions" that happen during the day, I don’t have much sympathy. Truly, they have no idea. I highly doubt they have a cat doing his daily duty in a litter box beside the desk, or a girl fight to break up over a Barbie doll. All par for the course with me and my daily life.
Mr. BBM works from home two days a week so that I can go to PT without the girls (I have to take them with me today which should be great fun). Often, when I arrive home, his hair is sticking straight up in the hair from rubbing his hands through his hair in frustration that the girls: can’t get along, can’t be quiet, can’t stop screaming, won’t leave him make a phone call, won’t let him get anything done etc. He gets just a small taste of why my job is extremely part time.
No office job has a demanding two-year old asking you to find her Donald Duck. There are no interruptions for french braids, Dora yogurts, or knock down all out temper-tantrums. So for all those who think that working from home is a cake-walk, I’m here to tell you it’s quite the opposite.
***The latest review is up at The BBM Review. Today is your last chance to enter to win a Turtle Press Ultimate Flexibility DVD or book. Just leave a comment at The BBM Review. Drawing takes place tomorrow night!
To Paint or Not to Paint
This morning our realtor suggested once again, that we paint the girls’ rooms. We poured our hearts and souls into those rooms and it kills me to even think about it. When he asked me what my objection was, I told him that paint is an easy fix for a new buyer, and that I don’t want to traumatize my girls. Moving is traumatic enough. He said he wants to help us remove every possible objection. Most people who are looking at our house are young professionals or older people looking for a house where they don’t have to mow the lawn. Neither of these demographics wants themed kids rooms (although no one has yet complained about the rooms).
I spent days choosing the exact colors I wanted to use. I hand made that ocean stencil, painstakingly added those little jumping dolphins, glued seashells onto the curtain rod and spent hours lounging on the floor as Mr. BBM used glaze paint to create clouds on the walls and vaulted ceilings. Some of them look like plain old clouds, but if you look closely you can see that some of them are shaped like seahorses, dolphins and starfish.
We painted this room when I was about seven months pregnant. It was a hot summer weekend and Mr. BBM and I spent the entire weekend working on it. When all was said and done, we added Big I’s baby furniture, bought bright-colored sea creatures to hang on the walls and put it all together.
Lil C loves her ocean room. She likes to pretend she’s Ariel in there. I realized today though, that it may be me who loves that room the most.
When we first moved in, it was a playroom/guest room. As 14 months of trying to have another baby went unanswered, it became this room that was supposed to be and just wasn’t. And then I took that pregnancy test and our Lil C and this ocean room became a reality.
Maybe painting it white is just the first step in letting go of this house that is our first real family home. Letting go of a place that gave you so many fabulous memories is really difficult to do. It may just be a gallon or two of paint, but it’s what that room represents that is the most difficult to just paint over. If we do decide to paint it, there will be tears and I’m betting that they’ll be mine.
An Unlikely Nap Locale
I know people who have spent an absolute fortune on baby cribs. Our crib is from IKEA and was purchased for $99. It’s pretty basic. You can adjust the height to two different levels. You can also make it into a junior bed by taking one of the sides completely off. Last week, I took the one side off of Lil C’s bed and she’s been sleeping like a "big girl" ever since. . . once she’s asleep that is.
IKEA has been the store of choice for much of our furniture. My living room is entirely IKEA, as is my bedroom and Lil C’s room. It’s affordable and functional; but visiting the store can be a bit frustrating. My parents once stood in line for hours waiting for a toy chest for Lil C’s room. We have already taken things home to find out that we were missing screws, special IKEA screws that only IKEA people manufacture and you therefore can not find them at Home Depot, requiring a repeat trip.
When all is said and done though, I must admit that my IKEA furniture can take some serious abuse. . .
Lil C insisted that I get in bed with her tonight to "cuddle for a minute," and I figured if only for a minute, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Tonight, I feel asleep in Lil C’s crib/junior bed with her. I woke up an hour and a half later.
Can’t find Mommy? I’ll be napping in the crib. It’s really quite comfortable.
Where is my Mind? What am I Thinking? I Can’t Do This!
Filed under: Admired Martial Artists Month, Guest Post, Tales from the dojo
When I was asked to be a feature Martial Artist of the month, I thought, ohh boy…what am I going to write about? My experiences with transmitting information during class have gotten me some blank stares, sleepy eyes, yawns, and inquisitive faces…but most of all, a sense that I pulled the rug out from under their feet.
So I pondered the question and looked for something common that all martial artists go through in the beginning and while advancing through the ranks, even well into the Black belt Dan’s, so maybe I can provide a little enlightenment and not try to bore you with too much Japanese Terminology by doing it.
* * *
The class is milling about, the most Senior Black Belt or Sensei barks out the command " Narande" (line up) after Reishiki (Rei in and respects). The Sensei then tells the students what he is going to instruct in class that night, and the faces of students turn into that deep troubled look, like they left the stopper in the bathtub and forgot to turn off the water!
Whether it is Kata, Waza, Self Defense, or Weapons there is someone that is not going to like what’s in store for them that night. Mostly it is not that they dislike the techniques, it is that they have a difficult time executing what the Sensei wants them to do. So many times I hear, I can’t do this, I don’t how to move, I can’t seem to get any power, this manipulation escapes me, what am I suppose to be feeling, what should I look at, how should I react or act?
Lets look at one activity that makes many students cringe – Sparring. When Sensei barks out "pad up, Kumite," that demon opens the door and some cringe and mutter "oh no, not that," and some even start to make themselves ill, for they will have to deal with that one person or fear or the fact that they’re just not any good at sparring.
* * *
Mushin (no mind), Zanshin (alertive mind, or Warrior Spirit) – these are the building essentials that will help you break through fear and mold you on your path in Martial Arts. Mr. Apsokardu had touched on them and defined them in his article "Where Will We Take the Martial Arts". But what is the foremost needed building essential and answer to that Demon that haunts most students in their progress of learning is: Kanjo! (Emotion).
Kanjo is a leading factor in why students fail to make progress. As soon as the student finds out what he or she is going to do, his mind starts a whirlwind and goes into a spin with all kinds of extraneous thoughts of doubt, anxiety, fear, nervousness, and depression. The battle of Emotion taking place in the Mind has already been lost and there is no room for making the correct, decisive, spontaneous movements.
* * *
If you never had the fortunate pleasure to be an uke or attend a class of Hanshi Bruce Heilman 9th Dan Okinawa Kenpo Karate and Kobudo and Kyoshi William Hayes 7th Dan Shorin Ryu and Shobayashi Ryu karate at one of their seminars, I ask you to do so. There is not a better way to get the feeling of proper execution of emotion and technique than to feel it first hand. First you should know, that you are not going to get hurt. Next execute the attack they tell you to with proper speed and focused technique and leave your senses open to what’s going on. You will notice that both of these men are always smiling and humble in their way, and both have an excellent extensive background in the Martial Arts. Their stories of their experiences and of their teachers are an excellent learning experience in itself.
Now to continue on, the second you start to move, and as the attack is launched you will notice that their head tilts slightly with the chin getting near the chest to protect the neck. The grin is gone now, and their face turns to a stone like feature, the eyes narrow and the pupils dilate big and black that take up all the color in the iris, it’s like looking into the eyes of a Tiger or Shark, black and void of any emotion. One’s feeling seems to be that you just became the prey. As the attack resumes their hands move in a blur and part or parry and slice into the attack with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. Their grip becomes vise like and your nerves and muscles seem to tingle and spasm. Their motion and power of the counter technique moves through you like a thunderous freight train passing full speed at railway crossing. As you try to come to wits from the floor, a little disheveled but unhurt (this has all taken place in seconds), you try and compose what just happened! But as you’re helped up by them, you will notice that grin has returned again.
What you just witnessed was Kihaku (Intensity). It is a release of several mental factors such as self confidence and determination; a power focused not from sheer muscle strength, but using the subtleties of technique, in a dominating unrestrained fighting spirit that is an all out commitment, without the slightest hesitation to react naturally and an instinctive fluidity guided by the years of their training.
* * *
Anko Itosu (1830 – 1915) Shorin Ryu Karate was quoted as saying: " During practice, you should imagine yourself on the battlefield. When blocking and striking make the eyes glare, drop the shoulders and harden the body. Now block the enemy’s punch and strike! Always practice with this spirit, so when you are on the real battlefield you will be naturally prepared."
Control of emotion is not easy. It takes one step at a time. In the case of kumite, you will have to resist playing the game of tag and resolve the ego from trying to win or beat your opponent in a competitive sport type environment. Concentration, focus, pinpoint accuracy to the target, that would in reality end the confrontation. This takes time and hard work to control the ego from just winning a game. The other area’s in your style, kata, weapons ,waza, self defense are just as important of a starting area and have to work with and around each other. Lets look at some steps to start to control your emotion.
Kihon – ( Basics) Yes, I know everyone knows basics, but there’s no better place to start! But try now to start again this time with just the simple punch.
It is said, "A Single Strike Decides the Outcome of a Battle."
1st, Kokyu – (Breath) breathe & exhale; relax and settle into your kamae (stance or posture).
Breathing serves to cleanse the body. Exhale out the negative thoughts of fear, worry, doubt ,indecisiveness, hatred; they are self destructive. Inhale positive thoughts of fresh air, confidence, faith, courage, bravery.
2nd Thought – empty the mind of extra thoughts that are not relevant to the task at hand by narrowing the eyes, not in a sleepy manor, but in a gaze that seems to burn out from the eyes toward the target.
3rd Intent – having the mind focus on its purpose, its commitment to complete the technique, no matter what the outcome, or what the other person does.
4th Bear Down Fear – it’s ok to have some fear, but try to harness this emotion to power – not power into the technique, but power projected toward the opponent or target through your motion. There is a saying from one of Japan’s great sword masters Yamoka Tesshu, "Don’t try to save your ass, dash head long into the battle, true spirit will always prevail!"
5th Confidence – be confident of your skills, they do work; all your training has amounted to more than the ordinary person can perceive. Kumite, fighting in class is very difficult. Everyone has roughly the same amount of skill and technique…after a while you start to rely on tricks just to suffice the ego. This is not true Budo, this is not the True Warrior Spirit. There is a saying from an old sword school Shinto Munenryu – "The Sword Follows The Hand, The Hand Follows The Spirit."
The last is Faith – Faith that in time, with diligent practice and your Sensei’s guidance he will set you on the right path and teach you, when you’re ready, the different levels of thought, power, technique, attitude, control, perseverance.
As a final thought, I would like to borrow something from another master of the Martial Arts. Have you ever heard the statement, " Karate, is a Way of Life! " by Gichin Funikoshi? Well what better way to get through life and ensure a good lifestyle other than to control one’s Kanjo (Emotions)!
Sayonara
Z san
***Last chance. Comments on these posts will remain open until the end of the week. Leave a comment here or at The BBM Review for your chance to win a martial arts book or DVD from Turtle Press.
Copyright
© Copyright 2006-2019 blackbeltmama dot com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Follow Me
Blog Designed By
My Creations
Things You Could Care Less About
