Verdict
They love our house. We’re their favorite. Are you sensing a "but"? Because there is one.
They are first time home-buyers and they want to see every other possibility in the whole wide world before they decide we are the right house for them. This does not mean they don’t want our house; they do. They just want to be 100% sure and they can’t be if they’ve only seen eight other properties. While they continue to peruse the universe, they want to be notified immediately if another offer comes in on our house.
I might be slightly exaggerating about the number of homes they intend to see; but I am a woman on the edge here. I am a woman who is seriously sick and tired of vacuuming morning, noon and night and constantly putting dishes and clothes away. I am a woman on official bed-making strike. I am done. . .
. . .until we get another call for a showing and then I’ll turn right back into Martha again, spelling out "buy me now" in the carpet with the vacuum and baking perfect chocolate chip cookies that the girls aren’t even allowed to smell.
In the interest of completely changing the subject so that my breathing can return to normal once again, what does one wear to Tequila Con 2008? Because I have no idea, and somehow I’m imagining that asking Karl might be a bad idea.
What’s the what’s the what’s the scenario?
The agent who showed our home for the third time on Monday night has yet to make contact with our realtor. Despite it being their third time here, and taking pictures galore, nothing, still. My agent called today and he sounds as baffled and frustrated as we do. So in the interest of keeping my sanity, I’ve come up with some possible scenarios:
1. The buyers came and were disappointed by the brand new flooring in the kitchen and the new carpet. Apparently they like the "rustic" look of faded linoleum and 16-year old worn pink carpet was just what they were looking for. They also planned on making Lil C’s blue ocean room into an in-house beach so they were disappointed to see it painted so neutral and non-ocean-like. Because they must realize the work that we put into the place, they are trying to figure out a way they can ask us to retrieve the pink carpet from some landfill somewhere and put it back. They’re also trying to figure out how they can get us to repaint the ocean room.
Scenario result: Mr. BBM and I will launch empty paint cans at them from afar and tell them to kiss it.
2. The buyers are psychologists and/or have studied the psychology of buying a house. They want our house badly but they are being careful not to appear too eager. Instead they will wait and wait and wait to appear "neutral." Their agent has asked our agent to call him if another offer might be forthcoming so they are going to just wait it out until that happens hoping we might drop our price and they might get our place for a steal (which it totally already is losers).
Scenario result: This "psychology" is really starting to tick us off. So much so, that any offer that’s not full price and without contingencies will probably be scoffed at by the BBM family. Psychology doesn’t work on people like us. In fact, no psychologist would even attempt to try to figure us out. We’re just that weird. End result? We will probably tell the buyers to kiss it. Are you sensing a theme here?
3. The buyers were on their way to the office to write up an offer when a gigantic T-rex came storming out of the forest and devoured them whole, agent and all.
Scenario result: The BBM family will probably still talk badly about potential buyers because they should have written up an offer a long time ago, which would have helped them avoid the night of the dreaded T-rex.
4. The buyers are working on getting a pre-approval and haven’t had time to sit down and write up the offer because they are busy, busy people.
Scenario result: Waiting makes BBM’s unhappy so we will probably counter offer 10K above asking, just for stressing us out. Jerks.
5. Like in "Lost", the buyers and their agent have been whisked away to some planet that looks like Earth and feels like Earth, but it’s totally not. Perhaps in that world, they’ve already made an offer and our alternate selves have accepted it and they’re already moving in, so there’s no need to come back to this Earth and go through the whole process.
Scenario result: Locke is totally going to take one of them out and the surviving one will come crawling back to this Earth to try to get our house. We’ll be so sick of waiting that we’ll probably tell them to kiss it anyway.
Why can’t some other buyer come in and make us an offer we can’t refuse? I’m sick of dealing with these people and their lousy communication skills. Please take the afternoon off from crossing everything for us. At this point, I think it’s more likely that a T-Rex will buy our house.
No News is Good News?
No, not a question mark! No news is good news. Period. That’s my mantra and I’m sticking to it. . .
Oh, who am I kidding?
Today my stomach has been in knots for the entire day. We’ve heard nothing yet. Nothing. These people are seriously killing me. "Killing me softly with no word, killing my house hopes, with no word, killing me softly. . . make an of-of-of-offer." Yes, I do believe I’ve lost it. The cleaning chemical fumes, the stress of it all. . . I’d like to move into a new house at some point but I’ll probably just need the crazy house by the time this all happens. My family will need therapy too, from being yelled at one too many times for messing up my perfect vacuuming lines.
I know your muscles are all cramped up, but if you could just continue to keep crossing your arms, legs, eyes, eyelashes and private parts for luck, I’d really appreciate it. If you do, I’ll buy you a beer at Tequila Con this weekend. I’ll need photographic proof of course, that you held up your end of the bargain (eyes, arms, legs and eyelashes only. Please keep your private parts, well, um, private). But yes, I’m going to Tequila Con to meet some real live bloggers and that is seriously the only thing that is getting me through this on-edge week.
No news is good news. No news is good news. No news is good news.
***To kill the waiting time, head over to The BBM Review to check out the latest reviews and find out how you could win an IPOD Nano!
Fingers, Toes, Arms and Legs
From our spy cove across the street and behind some forsythia bushes, we took note of the time, 6:02 p.m. That’s the time our potential buyers arrived at our house for the third time. At 6:40 p.m. they finally emerged from the house, walked over to the garage, talked and then took pictures. They took pictures of the garage. Either they are going to make an offer or they are cataloging our items so they can steal them. They stayed until approximately 6:50 p.m., 20 minutes past their scheduled showing time had ended.
I’m going with the first explanation, that an offer will be forthcoming. Won’t you join me in crossing your fingers, toes, arms and legs for luck? I am on pins and needles.
All Appendages Crossed Fool
We had our third open house today, and I am now collapsed in a heap on the sofa. I am exhausted, and I’m hoping that we’ll soon have an offer. We had four parties walk through today. One person stayed for 45 minutes; and all of the people who came through "loved it." Since our realtor is on vacation, he had another agent sit this open house. It was nice to hear feedback from another person in the know. She said that our house is gorgeous and that she thinks it will sell very soon. She said that the real estate market has really been picking up over the past week or so and it looks like that trend will continue (at least in our area).
Tomorrow night, we have a third showing. The people coming through are the same ones who were here the first week we were on the market and after their second showing, they were going to "write it up" when someone in their family got very ill. Now they’re coming back. They’ll see fresh paint, new flooring, new carpet and a deck that looks brand new. We are hoping that this week will be the week. If it is, then we’ll still be able to get into our new house before the school year starts in September. If I wasn’t so tired from all this cleaning and creating, I’d have every appendage crossed for luck. It just has to happen and soon.
There is always something that can be done around the house, so Mr. BBM and I made our own headboard yesterday. It cost us less than $60 and I think it looks pretty fabulous. We made it out of plywood, 1′ foam padding, that batting stuff you buy in fabric stores and an on-sale curtain from Pier 1. I think it was the final touch that our bedroom needed.
Besides touch-ups with the vacuum and keeping things flowing (like laundry and dish washing), I am so done. Martha needs a rest; I am one house seller who is seriously burnt out.
Because Miss Chris is a long-time reader and blogging buddy and she requested it, I had to take this picture before I sent back this hideous piece of jewelry. Just call me "Mrs. T."
I pity the fool who doesn’t offer full price for my house!
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