May 11, 2011

Not the Result I Was Hoping For

This morning I went to my midwife’s for my 1-hour glucose tolerance test. I completely forgot how nasty that stuff is until I took the first sip. It made me shudder. I don’t ingest that many sugars ever, so it was a real shock to my system. I should have known the result would be high, because as I sat there, my head started to hurt and I felt miserable. At one point, shortly after drinking it, I started coughing and thought it was going to result in throwing up. It was fabulous fun.

While I sat there letting the glucola work it’s way through my system, I read my file. All the notes about Sassy’s birth were in my file. “Uncomplicated” was checked in all areas minus the pregnancy part, the previous gestational diabetes. I’ve been telling people I was in labor for over 15 hours with Sassy but it was actually 16 according to their notes. I pushed for all of 10 minutes though before she was born, a 7 lb. 10 oz. baby that was the picture of perfection.

At the one hour mark, the nurse drew my blood for both the sugar and an A1C. When she stuck me it hurt more than usual and it took a while for my blood to get flowing into the viles. She did something wrong because usually I’m not sore after having blood drawn but I’m wicked sore right now and anticipate that I’ll be bruised tomorrow. When I left the office, I sat in the car and used my own glucose monitor to prick my finger and get a reading. It came back at 155. It was probably over 160 from my arm and with the couple minutes difference.

I immediately felt deflated. Despite completely changing my diet over the last 5.5. years, despite entering this pregnancy 10 lbs. lighter than I did with Sassy, it’s likely I’m going to end up having to take the 3-hour test. It’s likely I’m going to have a lot more intervention than I want. I know I shouldn’t, but I let my mind go to all the bad places. . . diabetes that doesn’t go away, a birth at the hospital instead of the birth center like I desperately want. I know I’m getting ahead of myself but it’s difficult not to do that when you’ve been down this road before.

I drove home and ate some protein and washed it down with unsweetened tea. I felt a little better. I went to pick up Sassy at Preschool. She greeted me with a huge smile and we talked the entire way home about what she had done at school and about our upcoming vacation. I took a good look at her in my van spy mirror as she sat there in her lavender skirt, her shoes and headband sparkling, and I reminded myself that no matter what happens, it will all be worth it.

She was.