August 17, 2010

Ke$ha Style Revenge at the Post-Op

I'll admit it. My pet peeves are plenty. But if there is one thing that absolutely drives me insane, it's waiting in a tiny room for a doctor forEVER. Today, my appointment with my ortho surgeon was at 1:45. I was the only person in the waiting room. The office staff was just back from lunch. There was no backlog of patients waiting to be seen. No emergencies busted in before me. And yet there I was, 20 minutes after my scheduled appointment, still waiting for a room.

When I was finally taken back to the room (with both girls in tow), I figured I'd be seen quickly. I figured wrong. At the 35 minute point, post appointment, I decided that if Lil C wanted to sing her heart out I was going to be ok with that. In fact, if Big I wanted to join her and if the two of them wanted to dance around, stomping like elephants, that would be cool too.

At 40 minutes post appointment time, the exam room concert began. Lil C started by standing in the center of the teeny room and clearing her throat. She then broke out in a near perfect version of Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold." When she forgot the rest of the words, she switched to her tried and true, Ke$ha's "Tik Tok." She knows every word to that song; she also knows that brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack is a bad idea. She has motions to go with each line. At the end of every other line, she threw up some crazy side kick/roundhouse business. It was loud and it was awesome.

I sat on the exam table bopping my head to the beat. I encouraged her to continue singing and louder. Any doctor who's going to make me wait that long should have his office graced with little girl concert. It's called the patient's revenge and it's my right as a human being.

When he finally entered the room about 10 minutes later, Lil C was on her 6th round of "Tik Tok" and she was getting more and more energetic with each round. He walked in the room, and she backed up into the chair, crossed her arms and said, "You took WAY too long." This is the second time she has scolded him; and it is times like this that I swear that kid and I have a mental connection. I think it; she says it.

A few minutes later, as he was consulting my surgical notes, Lil C leaned forward in her chair and said, "Ok, ok, ok, so I have to know something. Can Mommy swim now or what?" Once again, mental connection. What I love about this surgeon is that he totally gets my kid. He turned to me and asked me if this drama was the norm for her. I nodded that it was and he told her that I was going to have to call my plastic surgeon to get the swimming answer for her. She didn't like that one bit.

I also didn't like being told that I have to wait two more weeks to do anything. In addition, I have to start going to physical therapy again next week. Until my flexion is back to normal, I'm not allowed to do any treadmill walking or running. I'm at about 75% of where I should be, but it's the last 25% that is always bite-your-pillow-and-swear-a-lot killer. I need to be going to PT appointments three times a week like I need a hole in the head. I just don't.

Once I'm allowed to exercise again, I have to be careful so as not to get a stress fracture right through my bone thanks to the huge hole the screw being removed left. He said I have a Level 1 PCL sprain still happening. So, no knee extensions, no squats, no breast stroke (Ugh-how does he think I can survive???). Once I can go back to the gym, I'm going to find a good trainer and get this atrophied leg whipped back into shape. The problem is that there are so many limitations.

Here's the good news though. My surgeon had me sit on the table with my legs hanging over the side. He grabbed my left leg, twisted it a bit and held it tight and asked me to pull it back towards the table. This has always caused me a ton of pain. Today, he grabbed the leg and watched my face for the grimace I've had each and every time I'm there. Today, there was nothing. The screw is gone and so is the pain associated with it. I just need some more time to heal. I am starting to believe I will really be better. . . finally.

And that feels almost as good as the Ke$ha revenge.

Today, I am speaking out at Violence Unsilenced. Check it out. There are also some great winning opportunities on The BBM Review. Check them out too!

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Posted by on August 17, 2010 in ACL Hell, Mental Strain for Mama | 7 Comments

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