August 16, 2010

Facebook and Mustard: The Answer Revealed

Today I got a call from a student on my cell phone, given to him by the registrar, I assume. First of all, he called me by my first name. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know what I normally go by in the classroom. Sure, there are plenty of people who use their first names in the classroom. However, I don't. Maybe it's the few years of teaching high school, but my students call me "Mrs. B." He should have assumed the more formal alternative. Right away, he went to the first name. Dude, we are not on a first name basis.

He then proceeded to tell me that he will miss the first week of class because he is going on vacation. He wanted to know, and I quote, if "I'll miss anything." Um, yeah, buddy, you're going to miss the first week of class. The first week of class is crucial. It's where I lay down the law, drive all that info on the syllabus into your head and then we get down to business and start working on first speeches. Yes, the first week. That's how I roll.

This reminds me of the student I had last year. In the middle of discussing my strict attendance policy, she shot her hand up in the air and said, "Um, yeah, I'm from far away. And if someone in my family gets sick or dies or something, I might not be here for like a whole week."

I'm not a fan of people who interrupt me to tell me their personal business, business that can be taken care of AFTER class, not during when it's wasting everyone's time including my own. I asked her if she had any sick and/or dying family members or friends. She said, "no." And then I told her that we should just go on and assume that everyone is going to stay healthy for now and that we'll deal with it, if and when that time comes.

I am fully aware that college students experience the death of a grandparent at least once per semester, every semester throughout their time at the university. But let's just deal with that when it happens. I can also now add that on the morning of my Grammon's funeral, I came and taught my class before going to the funeral.

Needless to say, I am a bit concerned about my students this semester. Each year I am a bit older and less tolerable. I always have some awesome kids; but the non-awesome ones can really overshadow those bright and shiny ones sometimes.

But, I've left you hanging enough. Here is how Facebook is like mustard. . .

"Yet it is paramount to understand that everything has its own pros and cons. Take mustard, for instance. It has barely any calories but that doesn't mean every dieter will find it delectable. While mustard is almost completely different from Facebook, my point remains solid. Facebook isn't for everyone."

I can't even begin to tell you how badly I want this student in my class. It is out of the box thinking like this that makes me think that there is hope. Bright, shiny, mustard-colored Facebooky hope.

How close were you to the right answer? I have to say, those ketchup responses were pretty funny.