January 7, 2010

Twi-Curious

I feel like it's semi-necessary for me to explain myself. I should preface it by saying this: one of the very first dates I went on with Mr. BBM, back when we were in school at Pitt, was to the movie theater in Squirrel Hill to watch "Interview with a Vampire."

We walked home after that movie, through the park as the sun was going down and I was convinced that I would be devoured by a vampire. A few years later, one of my roommates handed me a copy of another Ann Rice book and I let it sit on my dresser for weeks before finally returning it to her. I had cracked it once. I was not at all interested. If I want to read something creepy, I'll read Poe, thank you very much.

Last year, I had a student in my writing class that started at 8 a.m. Apparently, the dude who plays Edward in the "Twilight" movie (see, I don't even know his name!) was signing autographs and she had set her alarm for like 4 a.m. so she could be in King of Prussia at 5 a.m. and hopefully meet him. When she saw that the line was already three miles long, she turned around and drove back to class. She didn't want to miss my class. This girl NEVER missed a class.

I heard some of my students talking about it, but I never had any desire to read it. The new Dan Brown book? Yes. It's sitting on my book shelf and I am saving it for a rainy weekend, because I want to devour it in two days, like I did all his other books. "Twilight"? No, thank you.

Then my neighbors started talking about it and I was feeling left out. Then my sister, who only usually reads stuff I've never even heard of, started reading it and when she was finished she offered me the book.

I let it sit, like the Ann Rice book so many years ago, but it was like it was calling out to me. "Come BBM, deliriously addicting vampire smut (which isn't even really smut because nothing happens people, NOTHING!!!) waiting, just for you. Come now."

And so I started reading it one night at swim practice.

I had the book sitting on my knees, not wanting anyone to see the spine or the cover for fear they would know I was reading it. I was embarrassed. Yet, after seeing a centimeter of the book, at least three other swim mom's inquired as to whether or not I was reading it. I sheepishly admitted that I had caved. Yes, I am reading "Twilight." To steal a phrase from my sister, I had to admit that I was Twi-curious. I also added that I had stuff to do so there was no way I was going to read it in two days the way everyone else I know did. No, I would take my time and savor it (or not).

That's when I started losing sleep. I slept only five hours the first night and didn't go to bed until almost 2 a.m. I had been reading straight since 5:45. I was exhausted but I did it again the next night. I was at a meeting that night until almost 10:30, yet I still came home and curled up with that book, which is obviously dripping with addicting vampire venom or something.

The next morning, while sipping my coffee and wondering how I could get more sleep, I finished it. I started reading, immediately, the first chapter of "New Moon" and then started making death threats to my sister, that if she didn't finish "New Moon" that night, I might just have to come rip it from her icy cold dead hands.

This vampire stuff is clearly getting to me.

Each night, since I started reading that book, I've had dreams about vampires, am suspicious of people with dark circles under their eyes (myself included thanks to no sleep), and I am focused only on obtaining the next book so I can dig in and read more.

It's not like anything really even happens in the book. But what it is, and the reason why the single biggest group of people reading this book is younger married women like me, is the teenage angst, the unrequited love, the memory of what it was like the first time those hormones fired up and you just wanted that boy to hold your hand or brush his lips against yours.

That feeling is addicting, and that is exactly why people who spend a ridiculous amount of time folding little laundry are the same ones who are falling head over heels in obsession with Edward.

I admit it. I am one of them. Hate me if you must, but remember, I've been learning a lot about vampires. I'm practically growing fangs.