October 26, 2009

Foreshadowing Different

Last week, we had a play date at our house. One of the Mom's saw a fleece blanket that was passed down to Lil C from Big I and she held it up and started telling me about the story the blanket is based on. Apparently, there's a book out there and the whole theme is that it's ok to be different. The Mom started saying some of the lines from the book. "It's ok to have crazy hair." "It's ok to wear glasses." etc. Big I received the blanket as a gift from her grandfather years ago, but I just thought it was a random blanket. I had no idea about the story behind it. I had no idea it was about to foreshadow our weekend.

Flash forward to this past weekend.

We had a birthday party to go to for a 5-year old on the street. She loves fashion so she had a fashion themed birthday party. The Mom went all out and created a dressing room and a run-way. There were two fashion shows during the course of the party. It was a lot of fun.

Both of my girls brought two outfits to change into and of course, they were both princess or fairy costumes. They were having a fantastic time.

It was after the second fashion show though, that I noticed that Big I was not being herself. I took her back in the dressing area to help her change and she was obviously upset about something. She didn't want to tell me, but I kind of forced it out of her. Apparently, she was being made fun of by a couple other girls who are around her age. She saw them pointing at her and laughing from the corner as she danced on the runway with another 5-year old friend of hers. She also heard them saying how "babyish" she was for dancing with the little kids and for wearing a Jasmine costume. This taunting continued throughout the party. Another kid told her she dances weird, but that didn't stop her from continuing to dance with her friends. She tried to shake it off and most people would not have known anything was wrong, but when we got home, she was clearly bothered.

The reason she was being picked on is the exact reason why Moms on this street love Big I. Although a 3rd grader, she can instantly transform herself into the perfect play date, no matter what. One day she'll be building an airplane out of tunnels, tubes and a play globe. The next day, she's a pirate on a play set ship. What's so cool about her is that she can get everyone involved in her different scenarios and everyone seems to have a good time. She plays with kids on our street that range in age from a couple months old to a 7th grader; and she gets along with all of them equally well. She is a neat kid, and I'm not just saying that because I brought her into this world. Ask anyone who knows her; they'll tell you the same.

I know how it feels to be picked on. What girl doesn't know this feeling at some point in their lives? And girls, they can be brutal. So I knew we had to talk about it.

I sat Big I on the sofa with me last night and put my arms around her. I told her about how much other kids love her, and how their parents do too. I told her not to get caught up in what other people think about her. I told her that the only thing that matters is what kind of person she is and how she feels about herself. I asked her if she had a good time, and she did. I asked her if she thought it would be more fun to dance with the little kids or sit in the corner and make fun of people. She picked dancing. I asked her if she thought it would be more fun to dance (even if you do dance a little weird) or sit in the corner and make fun of other people dancing. She chose dancing. I told her she has her whole life to grow up and act grown-up and that if she likes dressing up and playing with the little kids, she should do that for as long as possible. I gave her a hug that I hoped would squash all those yucky feelings and told her to think about what a good time she had with her little friends. Personally, I am thrilled that my daughter acts her young age of eight. Kids grow up entirely too fast these days.

This morning, I sent her off to school wearing a witch hat because it's crazy hat day. There wasn't a single other kid wearing a hat at the bus stop, but she walked up there with her two foot high hat on with a smile on her face. She loves spirit week.

When I came back inside, I found a little sign she had made last night. She took foam fish and dolphins and other sea creatures and made them look different. She drew hair on the one fish and lines on the one dolphin. She then wrote on it, "Different is Good!"

She is so very right. Different is good.