The Desire to be Better
Tonight there were only three of us in class, including the teacher. Allow me to let you in on a little secret. Even when you're a black belt, it's still possible to be the one on the training floor with the least amount of experience. It's still possible to feel like a complete and total beginner.
I had sort of hoped that the promotion would bring with it less self-doubt and that I'd catch on to stuff more quickly but that's definitely not true. Where are the black belts with super powers people? Mine was not pre-loaded! Tonight I had to resist the temptation to tap it and say "Is this thing on?"
We started off with simple moving blocking drills and then, as always on Monday night classes, things got a little more challenging. Soon we were working on off-balancing techniques. Then it was no longer in a straight line and it was free form. One attacker, one person working the techniques.
I found myself getting really frustrated at times. For the most part, I was able to get out of the way of the incoming attacks (besides the overhead strike that landed on my eyebrow and a few others that didn't repel away from me like I had sort of hoped they would. Oh yeah, and minus the time I went skidding across the floor on my butt like some cartoon character), but I was putting myself in such a position where I was eliminating any opportunity for a counter-strike.
Thankfully my teacher, who's been taking martial arts since he was practically in diapers, has super powers. He seems to have the ability to be able to read my thoughts, notice exactly what I'm doing wrong, and simultaneously figure out how to help me fix it.
It happens in baby steps, but at one point I was not moving on the 45 naturally and an hour later, without even realizing I was doing it, I was moving the way I was supposed to be moving. He mentioned that I was doing it right, at which point I probably thought about it and screwed it all back up again; but that's just me and the way I train.
Working drills like these can be so overwhelming. It's impossible to think about your feet, the way you move, your hands, keeping a point of contact with your attacker, figuring out a way to off-balance your attacker, and even just breathing, all at the same time. That's the whole point though. You're not supposed to think about it. You're supposed to feel it and just let things happen (Tell that to a control freak like me). Turning the mind off is perhaps the most difficult thing of all to accomplish.
By the end of the night I was far from perfect, but I was a long way from where I had been only two hours earlier. This is why people continue to train, because you are always learning something new and the desire to be better than you were two hours ago, two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago, two decades ago, is a constant pull on a martial artist who truly loves the martial arts.
The Beginning and No Super Powers
There have been two common questions when my family and friends heard that I was successful at my black belt test. Yesterday, my grandmother watched the DVD and then said, "Well now that you're a black belt, you're done so you can be at home more with your children, right?"
"No Grammom!" I told her, "this is just the beginning." I explained to her that most of my training time is in the evening, and that a good portion of it happened when my girls were already in bed.
"Well what do you do now? You're already a black belt."
"You keep going and you keep learning and training," I told her.
I've been absolutely shocked by the number of people who think that getting a black belt is the end. For martial artists, this is just the beginning. I was telling Mr. BBM about the conversation with my grandmother and said that it would be like going to the grocery store for a ton of food and then not cooking any of it, instead just letting it rot away. It would be like working hard to get a degree and then deciding to take a job that requires no education or experience. What's the point?
The other question I've been getting is "How does it feel to be able to kick anyone's butt?" That one just makes me laugh. My sister asked me the other day and I explained to her that the black belt does not hold super powers. It doesn't make you invincible. Anyone who thinks that is setting themselves up for a very rude awakening. I told my sister that what feels best about getting to Shodan is knowing how much hard work I put into it and reaching a goal that I thought was previously unattainable.
These videos are for John of Martial Views, by special request. The first is kata Wansu. Click here if you can't see it below.
Here is Seisan. . . If you can't see it here, click here.
Black Belt Means Starting All Over
Tonight was my first night back in the dojo since annual training and testing. There was a sea of black belts in attendance. I now know why people say when you get to black belt, then you're really ready to learn.
We wasted no time getting into black belt kata territory. I spent a lot of time being extremely lost. I kind of felt like a white belt all over again. In addition to several new open hand kata, we also worked a kama kata. For those who don't know what kama are, they kind of look like sickles, you know, those crazy hacking things for fields? Yeah those.
Experienced black belts often use bladed kama. Hanshi handed me wooden ones and I was grateful. I think I would have taken foam if available. I wasted no time dropping one of them. When you have to swing them around between thumb and pinky finger, it gets a little overwhelming, especially when you're also trying to get your feet and hands in the right location and direction.
Hanshi made a joke and had us all drop our right kama to the floor so we could get it out of our system. Then another black belt dropped his and I felt a little better. It's amazing how much less it bothers you when you drop a weapon when it's not black belt testing.
At the end of the night, we lined up to rei out. It was such a thrill to line up where the yudansha stand, on the side. There are three more of us now and I think I can speak for us when I say we're pretty excited to be there.
Tomorrow morning, I'm meeting one of the other new Shodans who will now be known on BBM as "Tree Trunk." "Tree Trunk" makes working wrist locks especially challenging, which is how he got his name. His wrists are about five times the size of mine and they just don't bend. It's really not fair, but that's another story. We're meeting at an embroidery place to have the kanji put on our gi jackets. Then we'll officially look like we belong in black.
Choun No Kun: BBM in Actual Real Video
I'm gradually getting my act together with all things media from black belt testing this past weekend. Today, I thought that I would show you some video. That's right, I said video.
In the past, I've had no problem showing my mad lip syncing skills, but kata? Well, you could all just imagine me doing kata. Video and I just don't mix.
Until today. . .
The first video is of the kata Choun No Kun. It's a bo kata and I doubt you'll have any trouble picking me out. Think blonde. Think ponytail. Think only girl on the floor. Sometimes it's difficult to see me, but it was the best angle Mr. BBM could get. If you can't see it below, go here to view directly.
The second video is of my kobudo bunkai. I did Choun No Kun. I thought it would be interesting to show you the kata and then my take on the bunkai (application, i.e. how it would really work instead of just fighting the air). There are a million different variations of bunkai for each kata. Featured in this video is "Ax-Kick Eric." I'm the one with the ponytail again, obviously. If you can't watch it below, you can go here.
Enjoy! I'll post more in the coming days.
***Speaking of video, why not enter the Summer Serenade contest? As Nike would say, Just Do It!!!