April 4, 2009

The Fastest Way to Black Belt

One would think that this site is the definitive guide to getting the fastest black belt possible. My search stats certainly tell that story. There are a ton of people out there looking for this information. They also tell me about all the people looking for "black belt essays." Of course, it's unfair for me to assume they're looking to find a pre-written essay to turn in as their own; but being a teacher who has seen a lot of plagiarism, I can't help but go there when I see people searching for those words and landing on my site.

Unfortunately, people searching for "fast black belts" and "black belt essays" are going to come up short on this site. If there's one thing I can't tell you about, it's getting a black belt fast. There have been lots of delays in that area when it comes to me, so I can give those people some advice of what not to do in order to get their black belt faster.

First, don't get whiplash. Whiplash equals a two-three month delay in training, easily.

Second, don't tear your ACL. ACL tears equal a minimum of 6 months to 17 months in order to get back on the floor. And some people don't come back at all. Tearing one's ACL makes people contemplate changing their web site's name from "Black Belt Mama" to "1st Kyu Forever." In other words, it's not the route you should take if you're looking to get somewhere fast.

It always cracks me up when people inquire as to how long it takes to get a black belt. The answer is simply, it takes as long as it takes. There's no magic number of classes or years of training. If someone gives you a number (or a dollar amount), then you should probably run the other direction.

The truth is that the belt doesn't have any super powers, so there's really no reason to need one quickly. You don't suddenly learn to run across the tops of trees. You don't instantly know how to throw a ki ball at an approaching attacker, or your sister if she happens to be on your nerves. You don't instantly bring people to their knees when you utter the words, "I'm a black belt." Come to think of it, the people who wear those black belts don't have super powers either. Unless, of course, you consider all the blood, sweat and tears they've put into their training. The dedication it takes to be a good martial artist is a true "super power."

So if one is truly looking for the fastest way to black belt, then one can go to any martial arts supply store and buy one. Unfortunately, you don't need a license to purchase those belts; but I can't guarantee it will give you happiness, make you invincible, or give you any super powers. It's just a belt, and you can find a bogus one with a matching certificate on eBay within minutes. After all, it's the person's journey that makes all the difference, not the belt or its color (says the girl who's been a 1st kyu since May 2007).

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