February 27, 2009

Another Incredible Hulk Moment

Yesterday Big I walked in the door from school and I could tell she was upset. Immediately the tears started.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"'J' hit me hard in the face and my ear when we were in the bus line."

"What?" I asked incredulously. "How? Show me? Hit me on the stomach the way she hit you in the face."

So she did, and it was hard. She hit her with a closed fist, a hook punch to the face and ear, her newly pierced ear. Thankfully the kid doesn't really know the proper way to punch. Still though, it was hard enough. Her cheek and ear were still red, even after the bus ride home.

"Why did she do that?" I asked her.

"I don't know. I was just talking to her about what we were doing in computer class that day and she hit me and ran away."

No teachers saw this because it was the end of the day. The bus kids were all in the gym waiting to be called outside. Right after it happened, her bus was called, so she never got the chance to tell anyone. This isn't the first time something like this has happened to Big I.

This isn't out of character for this kid. All year she's been a big behavior problem in and out of class. This particular child lives only a few doors away from us. Her family is super nice, but I'm not thrilled when she frequently comes here to play. She's loud, obnoxious, treats Lil C like crap and isn't even particularly nice to Big I. The past few times she's shown up, I've sent her home.

I felt like I was going to turn into the incredible hulk. I wanted to storm out of the house and down the street and go completely ballistic. Instead, I composed a very to the point email to the principal and to Big I's teacher. As of this morning, they're already on the job and taking appropriate actions. Because it happened at school, I think it's probably best that the school people deal with it, but it doesn't make me feel any less like going all green hulk and beastlike on that kid.

After the tears stopped, I asked Big I why she didn't defend herself. "You've had four years of karate classes! Why didn't you block the punch or at the very least get out of the way?"

"It happened so fast Mommy," she said.

"Punches don't happen slow Big I! They never do."

I understand that she was just talking to someone who hauled off and hit her, but still! We spent the next 20 minutes trading punches and working on simple things like getting out of the way all the way up to blocking that punching arm and restraining the person.

I really don't understand kids these days, especially girls. My kids would never dream of hitting someone, especially not Big I. Girls are incredibly catty at this age. Big I is always coming home and telling me how certain girls are trying to "steal her" away from other friends and how someone is always telling secrets and hurting feelings. Sometimes I feel like I am the only parent out there teaching my kids not to be like this. Why are some kids such jerks at such young ages?

I know what the casual reader is thinking too, that as a parent I probably see my child through rose-colored glasses, but this is simply not the case. Big I really is that sweet. She practically has a halo on her head. I would never claim the same thing for Lil C, so that's how you know I'm telling it like it is.

I gave Big I specific instructions for the day as she was getting on the bus.

"Play with the boys today. Stay away from the drama. If the girls start telling secrets and acting stupid, walk away."

She nodded in agreement; but I know she is extremely outnumbered when it comes to catty vs. non-catty kids.

The ironic part of this whole thing happening yesterday. . . last night was Big I's last night at karate. She's taking a break for a while. It made last night that much harder for me.