December 31, 2008

Internal Dramalogue

This morning I was talking on the phone with my Mom when my Dad had a little outburst. He went from perfectly quiet to "Damn woman, why do you have so many towels?"

He was folding laundry for my Mom.

He then went on this whole conservation lecture kick, telling her that she uses too many towels (dish rags, drying towels, cleaning rags) and socks (work socks, work-out socks, etc.). So much for saving the world by not using paper towels to clean.

"I don't know what his problem is," my Mom said laughing.

This type of outburst is not unusual for my Dad. He can spend 15 minutes not saying anything and then completely freak out. I've just learned to expect this type of behavior from him.

"You know what's wrong with him?" I said. "He has these internal conversations in his head like this: 'I'm a big bad man. Why am I folding laundry? Why am I folding all these towels? Why are there so many damn socks? What does this woman do, use 15 towels and four pairs of socks a day?'"

And then it's all too much and he says something like, "Damn woman, why do you have so many towels?" I told my Mom he's having an internal debate, a dramalogue if you will, with himself. She lost it, and we were completely cracking up because it is so obviously what he does.

"Your daughter has you all figured out," she told him laughing.

Earlier in the conversation we had been talking about my grandfather. He got a bill in the mail today and instead of calling because he had a question about it, he got in his car and drove there. It's New Years Eve. I'm betting no one is even there. We were talking about how stubborn he can be and my Mom went on to say that if anything ever happens to my grandmother, she'd probably have to take my Pop-Pop in and she thinks she would go nuts.

"Remember what you said about your dad?" I asked her. "Ditto that for me," I told her.

They both must have been put on this Earth to provide humor for the women in their lives. It's the only explanation.