Of Hockey and Karma

June 3, 2008 by Black Belt Mama · 7 Comments
Filed under: Mental Strain for Mama

When I was in high school, I dated this total tool of a guy for a year. He went to a different high school, was two years older than I was, lied to me about graduating when he didn’t actually graduate, gave me a leather jacket for Christmas that had a cigarette burn on the sleeve, and cheated on me with some girl he called "Kissy." It wasn’t exactly a time in my life where I was oozing with self-esteem.

I did, however, dump him, which I consider one of my finest accomplishments. We won’t discuss that I got back together with him for a few weeks a couple summers later (also dumping him then), because I said so. Also because, if my Mom reads this she’ll relive those unfortunate days and possibly have a stroke or something.

Our summer dates were spent cruising the town in his Dodge Daytona, listening to the Fresh Prince sing "Summertime." Our winter dates consisted of watching hockey. He was a Detroit Red Wings fan. I should have known he was a loser the second he told me. My Dad certainly knew it and shared this fact with me, but I think my brain was damaged from one too many spiral perms. I had to find out for myself, and I certainly did.

I remember in vivid detail how I dumped his butt while he stood on my front porch with teary eyes. My best friend was standing behind the door enjoying every second of me telling him off. When I tossed his soccer jacket at him and shut the door, my friend and I celebrated by dancing on the coffee table to "Hate Everything About You." I’m sure my Mom wasn’t happy about the footprints we left on the table, but she never said anything because she was so relieved that I had finally gotten rid of him. I was so relieved that I wouldn’t have to hear anything else about how awesome Steve Yzerman was. He had this super annoying way of pronouncing "Yzerman" and would get in my face and say it over and over again. How I wanted that player to get his butt kicked, just to make my stupid boyfriend shut-up.

Last night, as I watched the Penguins defeat the Red Wings in a triple overtime event, I had this burning desire to call him up, and just gloat a bit. It was kind of like the battle of the past and present. The past-my icky boyfriend of days gone by versus the present-my super nice husband who loves the Pens.

Here’s hoping the "present" continues to win. How I’d love to see him and gloat, just a tiny bit. Sometimes karma takes a really long time to make things right. Go PENS!

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If Poison Ivy Doesn’t Kill You, The Stress Will

June 1, 2008 by Black Belt Mama · 15 Comments
Filed under: Mental Strain for Mama

This afternoon was beautiful. . . or so I heard. I spent my entire afternoon in Urgent Care, convinced that my poison ivy was not only back, but had also turned into a serious skin infection that was going to kill me momentarily. Googling images is a very bad thing to do when you have a rash.

I saw my favorite urgent care doctor and he took one look at the always expanding angry rash on the insides of my elbows, the insides of my biceps, both of my lower legs, across my stomach, and my growing-more-speckled-by-the second-neck and came to the conclusion that I needed lots and lots of drugs.

I’m back on prednisone for the poison ivy with a vengeance that just won’t quit. I was given my first large dose while in the office before I left. I’m also on a serious antibiotic because it turns out the doctor thinks I might be right about a nasty skin infection (although it probably won’t kill me momentarily).

I’m only able to say that last statement about not dying, because he also put me on some lovely drug that works as both an anti-histamine (for serious itching) and as an anti-anxiety drug. I told you people and the doctor that I was about to lose it, and I am fairly certain he believed me. He also told me to buy Tecnu and douse my clothes and self with it. He also recommended I purchase some paste stuff that starts with a Z that you rub onto your poison ivy and then rinse off. He told me it was amazing and he better be right because that 1 ounce tube cost me $39.99. I kid you not.

As of right now, the itching has subsided for the first time in days, but I can’t say the same for the exhaustion. This is one leper lady who needs some rest. Calmer writing to follow, says those little green pills.