June 28, 2008

Open House Prep. . . Again

It’s been a beautiful day today, but I’ve spent almost the entire time inside cooking. I’ve made like 500 cream cheese mini cupcakes (how I wish I was kidding about the number), and then my personal chef neighbor friend is helping me make some kind of little rolled flatbread-type sandwiches with things in it that I’ve never tasted, chutney for example.

Our Open House has been advertised like crazy and there are signs directing people to my house from here to Alaska. We’ve had a lot of street traffic pulling in today and taking fliers. One couple in particular got a bit under my skin.

Earlier today, there was a kitten hanging out in our front yard. It was adorable and we were all out front playing with him. The girls were just loving him. Because it’s so hot today, Mr. BBM put a water dish out for the kitten. The kitten was super grateful.

However, when some potential buyers pulled in a little while later, I’m guessing they didn’t like the bowl being out front. As they pulled a flier out of the sign, they exchanged disgusted looks as they gestured towards the bowl. Maybe it’s because I’ve had it with stupid potential buyers (especially first timers), but it took all I had not to scream at them, "You know, the bowl is not a permanent fixture. It doesn’t come with the house and it’s not cemented to the ground. It’s not a pile of trash, a car jacked up on cement blocks, or a washing machine that doesn’t work anymore. It’s a bowl. It’s there temporarily to show some compassion to a thirsty kitten, jerks."

Instead of launching into my tirade, I delivered my trash to the dumpster and scratched my head with my middle finger. I don’t know if they noticed or not, but being passive-aggressive sometimes makes me feel better.

Something tells me they won’t be back tomorrow and I can’t tell you how happy I am about that. I’ll also be happy if the second set of low-ballers stay away. I don’t know what’s up with buyers lately but they obviously don’t know how this whole process works.

Step 1: Buyers make crappy offer.
Step 2: Sellers counter.
Step 3: Buyers counter back
Step 4: Somewhere in this process, an agreement is reached that is acceptable to all.

Instead, this is how it’s been going for us:

Step 1: Buyers make sucktastic low-ball rage-inducing offer.
Step 2: Sellers counter with a reasonable number and terms.
Step 3: Buyers walk.

This is a home, a very nice one at that, for sale. We’re not operating a charity here for ignorant first-time home buyers. All I know is this: we better get some serious traffic tomorrow because I won’t be able to fit in my front door if I have to get rid of all the stuff I cooked for it tomorrow.