Not There Yet
I hate to write when I’m in a mood like this, which is obviously why the posts this week have been few and far between. On Friday, Lil C got a DTaP vaccine shot, which made her arm swell and her personality much too much like mine, so that hasn’t helped things either. Plus, I still itch a lot. Hives suck.
At PT yesterday I was just miserable. My knee has been really bothering me lately. It’s sore at my lowest and largest incision area. Some days, I’ll get waves of pain just shooting through that area. Other days, it’s a dull but annoying ache that tends to stick around and intensify especially when I’m doing stairs or lowering my leg after having it propped up. I’ve been complaining to my PT about it on and off. I thought it was only on rainy days that the pain was bad, but this week it’s been nice and I’ve been having a lot of pain.
We talked about doing incision massage to break down scar tissue and I’ve done that. It hasn’t really changed anything. This week, my PT looked at me, walking miserably on the treadmill, watching others come and go while I stay and stay and work out some more, and he said, "I think you really need a break. I think your body is telling you to rest. I think you need a mental and physical break."
I think he’s right.
I left PT, got in my car and started to sob. I have cried more through this ACL ordeal than at any other time in my life and I’m sick of myself. I’m sick of always having an issue. I’m not the girl who has issues. People who always have problems get on my nerves, but I think I’m becoming one of them and that only serves to make me feel more miserable.
After my appointment with my surgeon next Friday, I am heading out for vacation. My PT told me he doesn’t want me to exercise at all. I’m supposed to completely relax and see if the knee issue resolves itself.
I wanted to be ready to go back to karate; but the truth is, I’m just not. And right now, I don’t know when I will be ready.
But Wait, There’s More
On Friday, I saw my surgeon about my wrist and thumb. My wrist has been bothering me for years on and off. While playing a spirited game of capture the flag, I fell and jammed my wrist while at church camp. I was in the 5th grade and the injury was a real problem because holding the hair dryer while hanging upside down to create that big hair look was pretty much impossible. I looked like crap for the entire weekend and when I returned from camp, my Mom decided it was a sprain, wrapped it and that was that.
For years now, I’ve had issues with it being sore on and off and a few weeks ago, it ramped up considerably and began affecting my thumb. Holding the bottom of Lil C’s jacket while trying to zip it up became near impossible because my thumb had that numbing pain kind of feeling. I decided I should have it checked.
The x-rays came back normal and my surgeon came to the conclusion that I must be starting to miss him. Also, I have general wear and tear in my wrist (tendon issues) and the beginnings of a "trigger thumb." I burst out laughing. How does a girl get a trigger thumb anyway? Although it’s not "catching" yet, he told me that if it gets worse, it will start to catch and feel even more icky (my word, not his) than it does now. He prescribed ice and ibuprofen and told me that if it gets worse, he’ll inject it. He said that it’s common after using crutches and that mine is not permanent and will stop bothering me. He’s right because it already feels a little better.
We also had a nice conversation about how poison ivy was going to kill me. He probably wrote in my chart that I am totally falling apart and sort of mental, and that would sort of be accurate.
Over the weekend, the poison ivy was getting insane. The blisters were getting larger and the itching was uncontrollable so it was prednisone for me. Within a few hours, the poison was already drying up and I was getting some relief. I have a day left of the prescription and yesterday, I started breaking out in hives. They’re random, one on my finger, one on my palm, a couple on my legs, a cluster of them around my elbows, and I have just about had it. So, now I think that I’m probably itching from the prednisone (or one of the many concoctions I put on the poison to help it dry up and go away) which makes me wonder which is worse: poison ivy or hives?
Can a girl catch a break already? Please!?!
Packed Full
Two cook-outs, a bonfire, prednisone for the poison ivy (ahhh sweet sort-of relief), one random couple who thought we were having an open house and so just walked right in our front door on Sunday, one potential buyer turned off by the fact that we have two dedicated parking spaces out front (apparently she prefers a free-for-all. . . weird), another interested couple who is still trying to figure out if it really is time to downsize or not, one first time hair-cut for Lil C (I didn’t cry and neither did she), a much shorter ‘do for Big I (which looks super cute). . .
. . . and one very exhausted BBM who still looks sort of leper-ish but is finally starting to show some improvement in the itchy-scratchy department.
More to come when I’m not so exhausted, but until I am back, go wish my good friend Adam a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY (especially since his gift from his friend in the states is running a wee bit late)! Happy Birthday Adam!
Apocalyse Now
Lately I feel like screaming at the world, "What did I ever do to you?" I feel like the signs of the apocalypse are occurring on my body. Gestational diabetes with Lil C which has left me with a serious carb-counting complex that prevents me from enjoying dessert pretty much ever, whiplash which marked the descent into karate injury hell, messed up wrist (an old church camp injury) and thumb (for which I am seeing my orthopedic surgeon tomorrow-oh joy), torn acl and subsequent surgery, and now poison ivy that is spreading on my body like California wildfires after a two year drought.
That’s my forearm. Fabulous.
It started on my forearm, moved to my bicep, jumped to the other arm, made friends with my elbow and then I noticed two more bumps. One is on my leg, the other on my neck. I made a bee-line for the natural foods store as soon as I noticed the new bump on my elbow today. They gave me some kind of herbal homeopathic stuff that I have to dissolve in my mouth every two hours and also some seriously smelly soap with jewel weed in it. The only problem is that I now smell like jewel weed and so does my entire bathroom. So, wouldn’t you know it. . .
Two showings tomorrow, one of them a second showing.
Not that I’m complaining, because I’m not. But I can not catch a break to save my life. Not one.
Tomorrow both of the girls have well visits with their doctor, which is always a big event for the BBM family. Big I exaggerates everything and Lil C doesn’t know whether she should be her laid back self or jump on the paranoia train with her sister. And if the doctor isn’t fast enough, I’ll have to leave to get to my appointment and PT, which will end just as our first showing is about to start.
My PT told me that my surgeon may give me a cortisone shot in my wrist, and right now, I’m thinking that sounds like a little slice of heaven. It will serve dual purposes and maybe, just maybe I can stop working on my mental itch restraint, because I’m seriously about to get out a rake and take the top layer of my skin off.
Despite all the crapism that has been going on lately with low-ball offers and nasty skin rashes, I refuse to admit defeat. Tonight, a beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky. Our house was directly under the highest point, and I took it to be a sign. The rash will go; the offers will come. The apocalypse that is my body will be tamed and calmed. It just has to be.
Restored Faith in Humanity
I haven’t written about it at all this year. But now I’m going to in true Paula style. . .
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHO WINS, DON’T READ THE REST OF THIS POST!!!
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