Where is my Mind? What am I Thinking? I Can’t Do This!
Filed under: Admired Martial Artists Month, Guest Post, Tales from the dojo
When I was asked to be a feature Martial Artist of the month, I thought, ohh boy…what am I going to write about? My experiences with transmitting information during class have gotten me some blank stares, sleepy eyes, yawns, and inquisitive faces…but most of all, a sense that I pulled the rug out from under their feet.
So I pondered the question and looked for something common that all martial artists go through in the beginning and while advancing through the ranks, even well into the Black belt Dan’s, so maybe I can provide a little enlightenment and not try to bore you with too much Japanese Terminology by doing it.
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The class is milling about, the most Senior Black Belt or Sensei barks out the command " Narande" (line up) after Reishiki (Rei in and respects). The Sensei then tells the students what he is going to instruct in class that night, and the faces of students turn into that deep troubled look, like they left the stopper in the bathtub and forgot to turn off the water!
Whether it is Kata, Waza, Self Defense, or Weapons there is someone that is not going to like what’s in store for them that night. Mostly it is not that they dislike the techniques, it is that they have a difficult time executing what the Sensei wants them to do. So many times I hear, I can’t do this, I don’t how to move, I can’t seem to get any power, this manipulation escapes me, what am I suppose to be feeling, what should I look at, how should I react or act?
Lets look at one activity that makes many students cringe – Sparring. When Sensei barks out "pad up, Kumite," that demon opens the door and some cringe and mutter "oh no, not that," and some even start to make themselves ill, for they will have to deal with that one person or fear or the fact that they’re just not any good at sparring.
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Mushin (no mind), Zanshin (alertive mind, or Warrior Spirit) – these are the building essentials that will help you break through fear and mold you on your path in Martial Arts. Mr. Apsokardu had touched on them and defined them in his article "Where Will We Take the Martial Arts". But what is the foremost needed building essential and answer to that Demon that haunts most students in their progress of learning is: Kanjo! (Emotion).
Kanjo is a leading factor in why students fail to make progress. As soon as the student finds out what he or she is going to do, his mind starts a whirlwind and goes into a spin with all kinds of extraneous thoughts of doubt, anxiety, fear, nervousness, and depression. The battle of Emotion taking place in the Mind has already been lost and there is no room for making the correct, decisive, spontaneous movements.
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If you never had the fortunate pleasure to be an uke or attend a class of Hanshi Bruce Heilman 9th Dan Okinawa Kenpo Karate and Kobudo and Kyoshi William Hayes 7th Dan Shorin Ryu and Shobayashi Ryu karate at one of their seminars, I ask you to do so. There is not a better way to get the feeling of proper execution of emotion and technique than to feel it first hand. First you should know, that you are not going to get hurt. Next execute the attack they tell you to with proper speed and focused technique and leave your senses open to what’s going on. You will notice that both of these men are always smiling and humble in their way, and both have an excellent extensive background in the Martial Arts. Their stories of their experiences and of their teachers are an excellent learning experience in itself.
Now to continue on, the second you start to move, and as the attack is launched you will notice that their head tilts slightly with the chin getting near the chest to protect the neck. The grin is gone now, and their face turns to a stone like feature, the eyes narrow and the pupils dilate big and black that take up all the color in the iris, it’s like looking into the eyes of a Tiger or Shark, black and void of any emotion. One’s feeling seems to be that you just became the prey. As the attack resumes their hands move in a blur and part or parry and slice into the attack with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. Their grip becomes vise like and your nerves and muscles seem to tingle and spasm. Their motion and power of the counter technique moves through you like a thunderous freight train passing full speed at railway crossing. As you try to come to wits from the floor, a little disheveled but unhurt (this has all taken place in seconds), you try and compose what just happened! But as you’re helped up by them, you will notice that grin has returned again.
What you just witnessed was Kihaku (Intensity). It is a release of several mental factors such as self confidence and determination; a power focused not from sheer muscle strength, but using the subtleties of technique, in a dominating unrestrained fighting spirit that is an all out commitment, without the slightest hesitation to react naturally and an instinctive fluidity guided by the years of their training.
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Anko Itosu (1830 – 1915) Shorin Ryu Karate was quoted as saying: " During practice, you should imagine yourself on the battlefield. When blocking and striking make the eyes glare, drop the shoulders and harden the body. Now block the enemy’s punch and strike! Always practice with this spirit, so when you are on the real battlefield you will be naturally prepared."
Control of emotion is not easy. It takes one step at a time. In the case of kumite, you will have to resist playing the game of tag and resolve the ego from trying to win or beat your opponent in a competitive sport type environment. Concentration, focus, pinpoint accuracy to the target, that would in reality end the confrontation. This takes time and hard work to control the ego from just winning a game. The other area’s in your style, kata, weapons ,waza, self defense are just as important of a starting area and have to work with and around each other. Lets look at some steps to start to control your emotion.
Kihon – ( Basics) Yes, I know everyone knows basics, but there’s no better place to start! But try now to start again this time with just the simple punch.
It is said, "A Single Strike Decides the Outcome of a Battle."
1st, Kokyu – (Breath) breathe & exhale; relax and settle into your kamae (stance or posture).
Breathing serves to cleanse the body. Exhale out the negative thoughts of fear, worry, doubt ,indecisiveness, hatred; they are self destructive. Inhale positive thoughts of fresh air, confidence, faith, courage, bravery.
2nd Thought – empty the mind of extra thoughts that are not relevant to the task at hand by narrowing the eyes, not in a sleepy manor, but in a gaze that seems to burn out from the eyes toward the target.
3rd Intent – having the mind focus on its purpose, its commitment to complete the technique, no matter what the outcome, or what the other person does.
4th Bear Down Fear – it’s ok to have some fear, but try to harness this emotion to power – not power into the technique, but power projected toward the opponent or target through your motion. There is a saying from one of Japan’s great sword masters Yamoka Tesshu, "Don’t try to save your ass, dash head long into the battle, true spirit will always prevail!"
5th Confidence – be confident of your skills, they do work; all your training has amounted to more than the ordinary person can perceive. Kumite, fighting in class is very difficult. Everyone has roughly the same amount of skill and technique…after a while you start to rely on tricks just to suffice the ego. This is not true Budo, this is not the True Warrior Spirit. There is a saying from an old sword school Shinto Munenryu – "The Sword Follows The Hand, The Hand Follows The Spirit."
The last is Faith – Faith that in time, with diligent practice and your Sensei’s guidance he will set you on the right path and teach you, when you’re ready, the different levels of thought, power, technique, attitude, control, perseverance.
As a final thought, I would like to borrow something from another master of the Martial Arts. Have you ever heard the statement, " Karate, is a Way of Life! " by Gichin Funikoshi? Well what better way to get through life and ensure a good lifestyle other than to control one’s Kanjo (Emotions)!
Sayonara
Z san
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When the Daffodils Bloom. . .
When the spring flowers emerge, it’s generally a good idea to pack away your Christmas decorations. My Mom always taught me that proper etiquette called for Christmas things to be gone by the end of January (Hers are usually down by January 2nd). I strictly adhere to this policy. It looks lazy and tacky if you don’t. If I’ve offended you, please take a few minutes and put away your Christmas decorations before reading the rest of this. I thank you and so will your neighbors.
Today we had another Open House. With about an hour to go before start time, I hustled to Home Depot, bought a bunch of flowers and filled up the pots in front of my house. I made sure to buy some yellow flowers. Apparently that color puts people in the "buying mood." When I was finishing up planting and as Mr. BBM was about to suck up the last of the leaves in our front yard, we noticed that our neighbor still had not put away her rather large plastic light up snowman decoration. This tends to not put people in a buying mood.
Like clockwork, this happens every year. The local Britney Spears just can’t be bothered with undecorating from the holidays. I should mention here that Christmas is not even a holiday that her religion celebrates. A couple weeks ago, it was the box that had been growing appendages on her front porch. We let the Christmas decorations slide since it was still rather cold. This week is April. It’s time to let go of Frosty. It’s time for the yearly reminder, yet again.
Since she wasn’t home, Mr. BBM pulled her "BRRR" sign out of the yard closest to our walkway and stood it up in her doorway, concealed from would be house buyers. He also uprooted another Christmas sign in the yard. He left Frosty to me.
For years now, I’ve been saying that Frosty needs to meet the dumpster. His plastic colors have faded from being kept out in the sun until, usually the 4th of July, and he doesn’t even work anymore. When we get a little wind, he sometimes ends up blocking our path to our front door or camping out sideways in our front yard. I can’t blame him for trying to get away from her yard, but enough already.
I boldly walked into her yard, grabbed the tired old Frosty and concealed him deep within the untrimmed bushes in her front yard. Truth be told, she probably won’t even notice; and if she does, she’ll definitely be too lazy to retrieve him from his forest hideaway.
If our Open House traffic from today is any indication of how our home selling is going to go, this may be the last year I have to get involved with Frosty and "Britney." Here’s hoping.
Blood Letting
Lil C decided she’d wake me up this morning by stealing my nose. Mr. BBM does this to her frequently. It’s their little game and it works quite well when the two of them pretend to take each others noses and then put them back. It didn’t work quite as well with me.
Instead of grabbing my nose, Lil C stuck her finger so far up my nose that she scratched my brain and caused what can only be described as a gushing hemorrhage.
I have never had a nosebleed in my life. For a brief instant I grabbed my nose in pain and then I felt it, the hot gush that was filling up my hand, as I made my way to the bathroom. I guess that’s one way to wake up on a Saturday morning. I think Lil C got far more than she bargained for when she tried to grab Mama’s nose.
I also have a gash on my neck from Lil C’s daggerish fingernails. There are some days she’ll let me trim them and some days that she just won’t. Earlier this week, she grabbed my neck on one of the "won’t" days, dug her nails in and twisted. I dripped blood for a few minutes before it finally stopped. My two-year old is seriously kicking my butt these days.
Somebody put her in a ring. I think we’ve got the next UFC champion in the house.
Don’t let that innocent face fool you.
Seven going on 17
Yesterday, the day before Big I’s official 7th birthday, she curled up on the chair with her pen and notebook and told me there was a page in there that she didn’t want me to see.
"Why not?" I asked her. She’s forever showing me something new in her notebook.
"I wrote something about this boy," she said. "I think I’m fallin’ in love with him."
Flustered, I asked her for a name. She hesitated. She really didn’t want to tell me. I knew it could only last so long though. Thirty seconds later, she volunteered that he’s a new boy in her school and he’s in her grade (Thank God).
I asked her what was so special about him and she responded, "I don’t know. There’s just something about him Mommy."
I informed her that she can’t talk about boys and in the same sentence say "Mommy." I prefer that she loses the boy talk to be quite honest. I asked her if she just meant that they were friends and she said, "Nope, I think I’m gonna marry him someday."
Did she turn seven today or 17, because I don’t think I can tell the two apart?
Happy Birthday Big I, but please stay little for just a little while longer. Please?
A Giant Leap Forward
Spring has brought to the physical therapy room yet another new ACL surgery recoveree. I met him last week when he was at his first visit post-surgery. It was a very good reminder for me of how far I’ve come. When he found out how long ago I had surgery (December) he and his wife were shocked that I was still there at PT. It’s a very long road; I told him to prepare for it. I also told him to get himself some prune juice.
While he worked on some painful leg raises, I worked on getting my heel to greet my butt. I am so close now. It’s hurting a lot less and my extension remains good. Yesterday I pushed it past 150 degrees. I have less than five to go.
While he was working on pushing his flexion to 80 degrees, I was standing on one leg on a foam block playing catch with a weighted ball. I told him to go to his "special place" when I noticed the pained expression on his face. That first week was horrendous, and one I don’t wish to ever relive. I made it through that week by going to the beach in my head. Staying in that PT room while working on flexion was just too painful and difficult.
When I was finished celebrating from that little feat, I rode 4 miles on the bike in 15 minutes and then moved on to my other exercises. I bumped up my leg press to 80 lbs. and for the first time in weeks, I bumped my weight up on the leg curl machine as well. It finally felt easy. Yesterday felt like real progress.
Last night, Mr. BBM and I were filming an interview tape for consideration to be on a TV show (more details to come if we get chosen), and for part of the video I put my gi on. It felt so strange putting it on again for the first time since October. Mr. BBM retrieved my belt from my belt display and I tied it on like it had been only yesterday when the injury happened. I’m getting the itch to return like I’ve never had it before.
I was adding an appointment to my calendar for April this week and noticed that I have another post-op appointment with my surgeon at the end of April. This is the appointment where he’ll determine if I’m ready to be fitted for my sports brace. I am determined to push myself really hard this month to build up those muscles and get fitted for that brace. It’s just another forward step in the process of returning to what I love.
I’m focusing on taking it in small steps so as not to reinjure myself or take a step backward. Right now though, every degree in flexion and every pound I can bump up in weight feels like a giant leap forward. Real measurable progress feels so good.