January 15, 2008

Week 4 Torture Update

Pain wears you down and out. Physically you’re spent; mentally, you’re just completely gone.  I am exhausted from physical therapy today.

Here’s the knee before surgery and four weeks and one day post-op.  Looking at this picture, I can actually see the beginning of some minimal muscle tone in the thigh.  It’s about time! (No, it doesn’t take much in the form of improvement to make an ACL reconstruction rehab patient feel happy.)

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I don’t expect it to feel good, but I never anticipated wanting a piece of wood to bite down on during such a big portion of it.  My flexion was at 121 degrees before my PT decided he was going to stretch me a bit.  With me on my stomach, he pushed down on the back of my knee (since I’m having posterior knee pain probably due to a knee capsule that needs some stretching) and pushed my heel towards my butt. 

It’s excruciating.  He takes it to the point where you’re going to go through the roof and then he pushes it a little more.  I feel like my knee is going to explode or snap completely off the rest of my body.  Today I found myself burying my head in the pillows trying not to scream.  It got worse when my PT sat down and put my foot over his shoulder and used his whole body to lean in towards my body, forcing my knee to close the distance to my butt. 

I realized I was holding my breath so I asked him to just give me a second to "go to my special place" and that’s just where I went.  With Lil C, I got through bad contractions by going here:

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I spent a good deal of time at the beach today.  It hurt too badly.  I just couldn’t stay there in that PT room.  When all the stretching was done, my PT measured my flexion at 125 degrees.  Something tells me that I’m going to have to fight for every degree from here on out.  It’s ridiculously hard and challenging.  I’ve been working on flexion at home, but I have been taking it to the point that it hurts, not beyond.  I need to push it further and it’s a difficult thing to do to yourself when you know it kills.

While looking at my incision scars, I commented that it still feels like I have marbles under my skin, despite me torturing myself every night with cocoa butter pressure and massage.  "How hard are you rubbing the incisions?" he asked me, as he began to demonstrate the appropriate amount of pressure.  Judging from my subsequent squirming, it was quite clear that I am not pressing down hard enough.  I really am going to have a drink the next time I do this to myself.

This was all discouraging, annoying stuff.  There was some good news in the form of using the leg press for the first time with 30 lbs., riding the bike for 10 minutes, and getting about five more exercises including a prone stretch to aid with my extension, more quad building, and additional leg lifts.  I swear I’ll be spending six hours a day doing my exercises now.  As the mother of an ornery two-year old, I have no idea when that’s going to happen. 

This might help though.  I give you the official BBM torture device:

Bike   

Tonight, we bought a brand new exercise bike to help with my rehabilitation.  Getting on that bike every day is going to make a big difference.  That’s what I’m telling myself anyway, in the form of a new mantra: "This bike is going to help me. . . This bike is going to help me. . . This bike is going to help me. . ."

My goal is to torture myself enough at home this week that my PT doesn’t have to do it for me any more. Something tells me this is wishful thinking.

***The latest reviews are up at The BBM Review and more will be appearing soon!  Check out my new favorite book and some karate training bags.    
 

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  1. PT: Day Three
  2. Crutches and Goals
  3. Will I Ever Feel Ready?

Posted by on January 15, 2008 in ACL Hell | 7 Comments

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