Letterman Style Pro’s of Crutches
In the interest of being positive, I bring you the Top Ten Reasons Why Crutches are Cool:
10. I haven’t had to make dinner (minus reheating something up) in over two weeks.
9. I haven’t had to trudge out to the bus stop in the early a.m. in over two weeks.
8. Your husband will occasionally carry you around if you make that sad face and complain a bit about how bad the heels of your hands hurt from the crutches and how sore your knee feels.
7. People hold doors open for you (all except for the jerks who stand there and stare at you while they sit on their butts because they must think it’s amusing to watch you struggle and/or their mama never taught them any damn manners-oh wait, this is supposed to be a "pro’s" list).
6. No laundry, because how are you supposed to hold a basket of clothes while on crutches? Not gonna happen.
5. You get some really nice emails from people.
4. You get some "me" time at physical therapy (Yeah, I realize this one is grasping. . .).
3. Seriously toned arms from using your upper body to propel you around everywhere.
2. No cleaning.
And the number one reason why being on crutches is cool. . .
1. You get out of having to take Big I to birthday parties, which saves you from having to watch other kids be rude to your kid which makes you want to strangle certain 6-year olds, therefore saving you from the stress and irritation that seems to haunt you for weeks afterward.
That being said, I can not WAIT to ditch these crutches. Two weeks people. Two weeks-that’s the goal. Then maybe I’ll have another Letterman inspired post in the form of throwing my crutches in a river for my very own version of "Will It Float."
My New Motorcycle Friend
Although I was in good spirits before I went to physical therapy today, I was worried that I would get upset again once I was there. Thankfully, that didn’t happen today. I did enough "emotional release" (that’s how we’ll refer to the act of crying around here from now on) on Wednesday for a decade. I’m good now.
It also didn’t hurt that my table was right beside one of the most hysterical women I’ve ever met. From what I gathered, she hurt herself pretty badly in a motorcycle accident and is there for post-surgical rehabilitation. I brought a book to read today for the stims and heat part of the program, but I didn’t need it. She immediately engaged me in conversation.
We talked about her 40-something year old single son, and how she knows he’s not gay because of the "video selections" she finds around his house (We’re using "video selection" to keep the perverted googlers away). We discussed Hilary Clinton, and how if she becomes the first woman President, we’ll both be horrified. Along with the PT, we also discussed Flavor Flav. Don’t ask.
When we weren’t discussing controversial issues, she was begging the Physical Therapist for a leg massage. What she got instead were some crazy stretches where she had to use a strap around her foot to stretch out her muscles in her leg. While most people grab the strap with their hands to pull, she thought it would be funny if she grabbed the strap with her teeth.
The PT spent a lot of time playfully rolling his eyes at her, and I spent a lot of time laughing out loud. When the fun was over (the lady had to go to the other side of the room to ride the bike), I discussed my future with my PT.
I asked him if he really thinks I’ll be able to do this without surgery. He says that he thinks I’ll be able to walk normally and do normal things unassisted. He said that for karate, I will always need to wear an ACL brace. I’m guessing they are holding off on getting me one, for the time being, so that I don’t go running back to karate class right away. I guess they’re pretty smart in holding off, because I am missing karate something terrible right now.
The good news is that I got through all of my exercises and some new ones without any problems today. Here’s to hoping for drastic improvement very soon (and that my new Motorcycle friend sticks around for a while).
***There are two new reviews up at The BBM Review. If you’re a girl, or know a girl you’ll want to check out my review of The Daring Book for Girls. If you’re a martial artist, you don’t want to miss Ikigai108’s review of his brand new gi.
Tone Arms the Yamato Way
I went to see the most amazing show this week. A group from my dojo went to see a performance by Yamato. If you haven’t ever heard of them, they are a Japanese drumming group and they are incredible. If they ever come to an area near you, spend the money on the tickets to go. It is well worth it.
I expected the show to be traditional and rather solemn, but what I got was not that at all. It was downright fun! There were five men and five women who performed; and they got the audience involved every chance they had to do so. The interacting came in the form of making us clap in certain rhythms. They even added some shouts to the repertoire which had me feeling like it was a kiai training camp.
I couldn’t help but notice, while watching the show, how incredibly toned all of the arms were on the drummers. The men and women alike have enviable arms. It got me to thinking that maybe our dojo should look into starting Japanese drumming training. That’s something I could do from a sitting position at least.
I found one advantage to being on crutches when traveling with a group from my dojo. Since I’m unable to climb into the third row, I was able to avoid sitting with the three amigos (If you only would have seen the crazy moustaches I painted onto these guys. . . but then one of them was like "Yeah, sure, you can use my picture BUT NO PHOTO SHOPPING!" Bah! He wrecked all my fun!). Since these guys (in addition to a few others) acted as my body guards and blockers all night so I could maneuver around, (and since two of the three are black belts,) and since they’re all super nice guys as well, I reluctantly post the original squeaky clean smiley version instead.
The similarities are uncanny though, aren’t they?
In all seriousness though, a sincere thanks to the entire "posse" for a very fun and much needed night out!
Psych Consult: Day 1 at Physical Therapy
I don’t know how many times I’ve said, "I am not one to cry." It’s been said enough though, and has usually been followed with a "but." I’m soon going to have to change that statement, since if you use it more than a couple times, you are indeed a crier. Here I go again. . .
I am not usually one to cry, but that didn’t stop me from looking like a leaky faucet at physical therapy today. About a half hour before I left, I was feeling all positive and confident when I decided to forego the crutches and turn to get Lil C a drink. I felt the most awful pain, my knee shifted and it felt like I was going to fall. Luckily I caught myself and shifted my weight back over to my good leg, which is quickly becoming my "sick of carrying you around" leg. It hurt so badly and I was so devastated that it had gone out on me that I sat down in the middle of my kitchen and started to cry. Lil C wrapped her arms tightly around my head and said "Oh Mommy." She’s two and she just knew Mommy needed a hug. That made me cry harder.
The pain and instability rattled my confidence and I arrived at PT feeling down in the dumps. The Physical Therapist sat me down and started talking to me about my injury, how I did it, what it feels like now, how I’m getting around, etc. He then started talking about the anatomy of the knee, and how he’s going to fix me in hopes of avoiding surgery.
You know how when you’re upset and someone shows you they care or is nice to you and you just well up and want to sob? Yeah, well the tears welled up and eventually spilled. I felt like a total idiot. He casually handed me a box of tissues as I told him I’m not usually one to cry but that this morning’s events just rattled me and that I want to be able to pick up and carry around my daughter. . .
We finished talking and I gave the tissue box a break. He put heat and stims on my knee and left me hang out for a while. My company included three elderly people. One guy was there for shoulder rehab and he smiled this sympathetic smile at me as he was leaving which made me well up all over again.
We then moved on to quad sets where I pushed the back of my knee down into a towel while flexing my foot back and tightening my quad muscles. Then he made me do leg raises. They were ridiculously challenging. I can’t believe how much strength I’ve lost in my leg in only two weeks time. After that, he had me stretch all the muscles in my legs out by using a strap over my foot and pulling. Then he taught me how to walk better with my crutches and adjusted my hand grips, which were too low. He was super nice and that just kept making me upset.
When I walked over to schedule my three times a week PT appointments, the Cold Play song "Fix You" came on and I about lost it. I seriously think the guy is singing about preparing for a black belt test and blowing an ACL. Listen to the lyrics if you don’t believe me.
When I got home, I got even worse. I’ve been a blubbering fool on and off since I got home; and when Mr. BBM asked me what was wrong I couldn’t even articulate it. The PT was fine, good actually. My leg muscles are already feeling it, and my PT said the goal is to ditch the crutches two weeks from now. He said they’re going to teach me how to walk all over again, to trust my body to do it right, to do it in a way its never had to, and it’s going to work.
I think that emotionally, everything has been bottled up. I’ve tried to laugh about it and have a good sense of humor about it. I’ve been mad that it’s screwing up my life and my plans for the time being. I’ve been reeling from not being able to do the things I’ve been able to do easily before. I think I just need to have a good cry and let it all out. Then, I can go back to not being a crier.
Hopefully I can get it all out of my system before my PT calls for a psych consult, because if that happens I’m really going to cry.
Hines Ward and BBM: Two Peas in a Pod
I had an appointment with my surgeon this morning. Before I went, I fully expected this post to be announcing the date of my surgery. I won’t be doing that. It’s not because I’m afraid the papablogzi would track me down either. It’s because, at least for the time being, I’m not having surgery.
The MRI confirms the diagnosis of a torn ACL, but my surgeon thinks that I never had much of an ACL to begin with, and for 32 29 years my knee has done just fine. He feels very confident I will be able to PT my way back to normal. I asked him why I’m having the instability and pain when I extend and bend my leg and he said that he feels confident that when I hyperextended my knee while sparring, I irritated my knee cap. He went on to describe how it feels when your kneecap is all ticked off at you, and that is exactly how I’m feeling. He told me to take anti-inflammatories three times a day, crutch it around until that knee cap calms down and then the instability should go away and I should be able to walk.
Tomorrow, I start physical therapy. I will have a month of PT and then I’ll meet with him again. If I’m no better, then he’ll do surgery and reconstruct my ACL. I asked him what his gut was telling him about me and he said, "I really think you’re going to be able to rehab it without surgery." He even smiled. I’ve never met a surgeon who had a personality before, but he does and I like it (His good looks don’t hurt either). Am I right or what?
I reiterated that I don’t want to just be able to walk in a straight line, that I want to go back to karate and do it the way I did it before (Mr. BBM added here that my karate is hardcore-not Karate for Kids-ish), and he nodded with understanding and stuck to his guns.
He said he’s a surgeon and he likes to do surgery; but he does not believe I need it and doesn’t want to do it unnecessarily. I asked him a ton of "what if" questions and he answered everything to my liking. He said that if I do need surgery, he’ll be able to get it on the schedule quickly, that I won’t have to wait long to get on the road to recovery.
I am going into PT with a really positive attitude. I am going to bust my butt to get better without surgery. If I do end up needing to have surgery, I’ll be in great shape for it from all the PT beforehand. He said that he wouldn’t do ACL reconstruction surgery before things calmed down in there anyway, so this isn’t delaying my recovery by trying PT first.
I’m going to be the girl who comes back without needing surgery, and then Hines Ward and I are going to sit down and discuss our freak-of-natureness over drinks and nachos.
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