And then there was one. . .
I arrived at physical therapy today expecting to be set back again; but that didn’t happen. I increased my leg lift weight up a pound and did them without a problem. I was able to do my quad sets without a rolled up towel underneath my knee. This was the first time for that. I was excited about that alone.
When I got off the table for my weight-bearing exercises, I was able to move all of my weight onto my left leg and lift my right foot off the ground. My PT’s eyebrows went up a bit in surprise. He asked me if I could stand on my left leg and bend my right leg at a 90 degree angle, totally lifting my foot off the ground. I could and I did. I held it for 10 seconds. I did it again.
He asked me if I could do it without holding onto the table, and I did it eight more times. I wasn’t completely stable. I wobbled a bit inside the knee joint, but I concentrated on squeezing my leg muscles tightly and that seemed to help. My PT exclaimed "AWESOME!" and told me I could ditch a crutch.
One down, one to go. . .
I rode the bike for seven minutes, added five more pounds to the leg press machine, and then moved on to some new exercises. During the last set of the new exercises, that awful wobbling inside my knee happened and it shot pain throughout my knee again. I gasped.
My PT heard me and asked me if what I had been trying to describe to him had happened. It had. He told me that hopefully, those incidents will occur less and less as I get stronger and feel better. If not improved by the time I see my surgeon, my PT said my surgeon will probably scope my knee to take a look to see if it really is the torn ACL causing me the pain and problems or if I maybe tore my meniscus a bit or am just having issues with a floating foreign body or scar tissue.
He said that frequently, people go into surgery thinking they’re having their ACL reconstructed and they come out of surgery having only had their knee "cleaned out" or a small tear that didn’t show up on the MRI repaired instead. Sometimes, people wake up, and as they thought, they have had an ACL reconstruction. My PT said that if the surgeon does scope my knee, and nothing else is going on in there, he’ll probably reconstruct the ACL, but if there are other issues, he might just leave the ACL alone.
So, we’ll see. I have a little less than three weeks of physical therapy left before my appointment. I made great improvements today and only having to use one crutch is a nice little gift. I can’t wait until I can say, "and then there were none."
***The latest review is up at The BBM Review. If you were curious as to how the new Super Mario Galaxy Wii game is, then you don’t want to miss it. Keep watching in the weeks to come because The BBM Review will be giving away some prizes!
Patience
Filed under: ACL Hell, Mental Strain for Mama, Tales from the dojo
Last week, I watched Big I’s karate classes from the sidelines. The desire to get back out on the floor again is so strong that I began daydreaming about whether or not I’d be able to balance by putting most of my weight on one foot in order to do drills where you don’t have to move your legs much. I thought about putting a chair out on the floor so that I could sit there and do the arm movements. I thought about what good exercise it would be to just balance on my right leg during class for all the drills. I could do cat stance, I reasoned with myself.
My daydreams were then interrupted by Big I’s one instructor. He asked me if I could work with one of the little girls on her punch from the sidelines. Her punches were not going to the solar plexus. Instead they were being thrust out there at about shoulder height in a very haphazard fashion. While the instructor continued with the other kids, this little girl sat beside me and we worked on punches.
I told her to watch herself in the mirror and aim for her belly. The punches were still going up to her shoulders and beyond. So, I showed her how her gi comes to an "x" almost right at the perfect punch spot. I told her that was her target, and to look at herself in the mirror and punch that "x" every time. It seemed to click; and I sent her back out on the floor to practice the next skill.
It was a nice little distraction from my daydreams, and it felt good to help someone else instead of having everybody help me all the time. I’m not playing the role of the injured girl very well. I’ve been trying to walk around without my crutches entirely too much, because it’s so frustrating to not be able to do things for myself. It’s impossible to carry a drink up to the living room when both hands are holding onto the crutches. Although being waited on was initially nice, it’s now very annoying to have to rely on other people all the time. For my independent thinking in the form of walking without crutches around the house sometimes, I paid for it yesterday.
My knee hurt terribly. At the end of the day, I sprawled out on the floor on my stomach to have Mr. BBM inspect the back of my knee. The back of my knee is SO sore. It’s sore to the touch and some of the exercises were really hurting it too. Mr. BBM said I was a little swollen. I asked him to get me some ice and attempted to get off the floor without asking for help. My knee shifted and that horrible pain shot through my knee. It hurt so bad that my eyes teared up. It’s moments like this that I’m very skeptical about being about to rehabilitate my knee without surgery. It just feels so wrong in there.
I have three more weeks of physical therapy, and then I see the surgeon again. He said that if we decide to do surgery he will get me in within a week or two. Let’s do the math: appointment on the 7th, surgery by the 14th or 21st. Christmas is the 25th. If that’s the case, I am going to have one incredibly miserable Christmas. Not knowing what’s going to happen is also driving me insane.
I told Mr. BBM that I feel like my life is on hold. My plans to test for Shodan, that had been so meticulously mapped out in my head, are now completely up in the air. With the way I’m feeling now, I can’t even imagine going up for testing in February; and if I do have surgery, summer is probably out of the question too.
Lil C is two years old and when Big I was this age, I used to wear holes in the knees of my jeans all the time. I spent so much time crawling around with her and playing with her; and I absolutely hate that even sitting on the floor to play with her is uncomfortable right now. I hate it even worse that carrying her around isn’t an option. She’s only little for so long; these years fly, and I don’t want her early memories to be of her Mommy on crutches.
I was feeling all sorry for myself last night after I twisted my knee, and I asked Mr. BBM why he thought this was happening. Is there a reason for this? If everything has a purpose, then what is the purpose of this? Mr. BBM said, when I first did this to my knee, that this is the perfect piece of "drama" for my eventual book. You know, the part in the book where people’s jaws drop and everyone wonders, "Will BBM get her shodan? Will she be able to do the martial arts again?" and so they keep turning the pages faster and faster to find out. I wish that I could skip to the end chapter and know how it’s all going to work out. For now, it’s just a work in progress and the ending is very uncertain.
As I was getting ready to leave the dojo the other night, one of my instructors said to me, "Injuries teach us patience." I’ve always believed that there is more to the martial arts than just the physical aspects. If the martial arts isn’t just about kicking, punching and technique, then maybe that is why this is happening. Apparently, I’m getting a very well-rounded martial arts education. Lesson #58: Patience.
***The latest review is up at The BBM Review. In the weeks to come, look for more book reviews, toy reviews, website and learning software reviews, and hopefully some cool new video game reviews as well. If you like the reviews, please consider adding us to your blogroll, and bloglines subscriptions. We appreciate your support as we continue to receive growing interest from many companies.
***In case you’re looking for the comments, I closed them on this entry. Just because I’m feeling sorry for myself doesn’t mean I expect you to.
Shameless Gloating to Follow
Last year I joined Blog Burst. You register your blog with them. If accepted, they find big online publications to publish your posts. Exposure is the name of the game. The Houston Chronicle has been loving me for some time and publishing pretty much all of my entries (I’m loving them back because of it); but lately I’ve noticed some new places. Check me out!
The Sacramento Bee
Reuters, yeah THE Reuters. (I should mention here that I totally think it was a mistake. Someone probably lost their job over it. I’m on the "investing page" and I can almost guarantee you it’s because of the name "Bill Gates" that was included as part of an end note. I’m taking it any way I can get it though.)
Now if I could just get Bill Gates to notice me and my tip jar. . . (Oops, there I go again.)
Christmas List
Filed under: ACL Hell, Holiday Fun, Mental Strain for Mama
It’s my blog so I can say "Christmas" not "Holiday." Any complaints can be emailed directly to yourself, because I don’t care to read them so there.
Yes, I’m a little cranky today. Not that I really needed to state that. We are less than a week away from Thanksgiving and I am still on crutches. Know how sick you are of hearing about it? That’s how sick I am of using them. (If you’re a new reader and want to know why I’m on crutches, start here.)
In addition to Lil C’s crutch injury the other day, I almost killed myself while going up the stairs to Big I’s teacher conference yesterday. The steps in the school have this little lip on the end of them and as I moved up one by one, I kept getting caught, which made me lose my balance and teeter backwards a bit. Thankfully I made it up without injury, but coming down was a nerve-wracking experience as well. Luckily, the conference itself was nothing short of wonderful and glowing so that was at least good.
After the conference I went to PT and sadly, had to report to my PT that after my workout on Wednesday, I felt very sore. It wasn’t my muscles either; it was the knee joint itself. Because of my report, he cut out one stretch, and cut my bike time in half. I hate set-backs. He said that much of PT is trial and error so that’s the way it works. He also said that I can cut down to twice a week since he knows I’m doing my exercises at home, and primarily because my co-pay is going to be the end of us.
When I got home, Big I wanted me to write out her Christmas list. I thought it would be a good idea to write a list for all of those that I buy for, 20 total, two additions from last year. My choices as far as Christmas shopping goes are as follows: crutch it around the mall and die of exhaustion and irritation (at all the rude you-know-whats that don’t hold doors for injured people), allow Mr. BBM or Big I to push me around in a wheel chair (NO WAY! What? I have pride issues.), do all of my shopping from the comfort of my own couch via the internet, or make a detailed list including item numbers, prices and descriptions and send Mr. BBM on what will still be a wild goose hunt.
I also wrote a list for myself since I rarely ever do this and after Christmas, I’m always like "Oh man, why didn’t I ask for. . .?" Right now, my list is markedly longer than anyone else’s list and includes the following items: gift cards or clothes from Ann Taylor loft or Ann Taylor, zip-up hoodie and matching pants from ATL or Eddie Bauer (I need cute PT clothes; I’m running out), that military book by Eric Haney (the one that show "The Unit" is based on), Shureido sai (sob, sob, sob-I could at least hold them and look at them), a brand new intact ACL, gift card for Victoria’s Secret, a new Vera Bradley purse, stationary for letter writing, kanji paint set from craft store, thin socks (blacks and blues), a pale yellow Pitt sweatshirt, ginger salad dressing (the kind they serve at hibachi restaurants). . .
You get the idea. I went a little nuts; and I admit that I’m sort of unrealistic about some things.
In contrast, here is Big I’s list: Wii Princess game, Pirates of the Caribbean III movie, unicorn webkin, Littlest Pet Shop Teeniest Tiniest Pet Shop (dear God, help me!), Littlest Pet Shop Electronic diary, and a computer (more our idea than hers), and sparring gear.
Lil C’s list? Puzzles, Ratatouille movie, Brio train accessories, oh and chocolate.
I think I need to remind myself that Christmas is for kids. . .
***If you’d like some ideas for Christmas yourself, make sure you check out the reviews on The BBM Review. From books, to martial arts products, to video games, there are plenty of reviews there and there are many to come in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Our review schedule is getting booked up quickly. If you have a product or website that you’d like The BBM Reviewers to review, please contact me as soon as possible.
How to Find a Wii
Every day, multiple searches land people on this site, people who are still looking for a Nintendo Wii. A year after my quest for a Wii, I can’t believe that people are still having trouble finding them for Christmas. Instead of just reading about how I was one of the lucky ones who found a Wii, I thought I’d give you googlers some advice about how to find one. Here goes:
- Investigate all the local stores that sell Wii’s. Where are the people most friendly? Where are the managers or sales associates who are most like you? I made "friends" with the Electronics Department Manager at my local Walmart and it worked wonders for me. Don’t waste time traveling all over looking for one. You only need one manager/sales associate who likes you. Make that the store you’re determined to get a Wii from. In my area, the Walmart received weekly shipments and they usually received more Wii’s than the other stores did, 15 to the other stores’ three or four.
- When I say "make friends," I mean, talk to the manager instead of just barking "Did you get any Wii’s today in their face?" I was the master of schmooze. I always asked her how she was doing, when she thought another shipment might come in, how many she thought she might receive, and I always thanked her for her time and help. It really paid off.
- Do some investigating about when your chosen local store receives their shipments. My Walmart received shipments on Wednesdays around noon, which means I arrived at the store at around 11:45 and hung out around the incoming boxes.
- Be persistent, but don’t be annoying. Obnoxious people don’t get Wii’s. A Mom, toting two kids, who looks incredibly depressed every time the manager says "Sorry, we don’t have anymore" gets the gold.
- That being said, it doesn’t hurt to tote your kids along when you’re looking for a Wii. Think empathy factor: a mom trudging through crowds of people with children in each arm. . . you get the idea. If you don’t have two of your own, borrow your nieces or nephews, with permission of course.
I firmly believe that the manager saw my perseverance and "awarded" me with a Wii. One had been returned unopened, and she snuck me back to the layaway area so that I could buy it in peace without some lunatic swiping it from me (because last year, someone totally would have done that). She had seen me arrive at Walmart on all the shipment days, with a heavy one-year old in my arms every time and I was rewarded for my efforts.
That being said, Good luck finding your Wii!
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