May 3, 2007

Backorder Bummer

I haven’t ordered anything from Victoria Secret in a long time, so I forgot how entertaining it is talking to the customer service people there.

Back when I was in college, I called to order a swimsuit. I placed my order and was ready with my credit card, but then the guy (because the VS customer service people are all guys it seems) says, "You know what would look really good with that swimsuit?" Like an idiot, I indulged him and before I knew it I got a box the size of Texas in the mail complete with my swimsuit, underwear, shorts, sweatshirt, cover-up and about eight other tops.

How did that happen? Easily. Take one customer service GUY who says things like "You’d look hot in that", add one insecure college girl and you’ve got a credit card disaster in the making.

This morning, I logged onto Victoria Secret and ordered my swimsuit and then the computer told me that it was backordered. Not only was it backordered in black; it was also backordered in emerald, red and pink. It will not ship until May 24th so Memorial Day weekend at the beach will be spent watching the festivities from the sidelines, unless I can dig in my drawer and find something suitable.

I hate that you go through the whole ordering process only to find out at the end of the process that your swimsuit is currently being harvested from some spandex field in Thailand or something. I started over several times with many different swimsuits and came to the conclusion that every swimsuit is backordered until about October, so it was pointless. I had no idea there was a worldwide shortage of appropriate swimsuit material. Someone should really be looking into this and making women aware in December so we could plan ahead. I’m just going to have to take my chances that the one I want will come in early or just deal.

I also had to call VS this morning to ask a question about sizing. I got a male customer service representative and he asked for the item number. Once he found my tankini, he exclaimed, "Ooh, that’s cute!" I mumbled something about hoping it would look as cute on me; and he saw an opportunity. "Oh, I’m sure it will. You’re hot! This is a camera phone."

Back in my college days, I probably would have blushed and then purchased about $300 worth of clothing and other crap I didn’t need and couldn’t afford. Today I said, "Yeah? Well if this was a camera phone, then you would know that I am still in my oversized pajamas, haven’t washed my hair in a few days, and I look and feel like crap." Then I coughed. I think he was convinced, because he laughed and then mumbled something about finding that sizing chart. He knew his cover was blown.

This morning, it may have taken me three hours to order my swimsuit, but at least all I ordered was a swimsuit and it might even be here by August.

This just in. . . Lindsay Lohan’s Mom is currently burning up the phone lines trying to get the co-host job on The View. Was there ever more of a reason to email Barbara for me????