Kicking off the Summer
We decided to kick off the summer right this year, and spent Memorial Day weekend in Ocean City, MD. There are benefits to having a husband who traveled 24/7 for two years. . . hotel points. We spent the weekend in the new Hilton Oceanfront Suites and it did not disappoint. We had a living room, a bedroom with two queen beds, a full kitchen and a fabulous jacuzzi tub in the bathroom that made more bubbles than Lil C could have ever imagined. We also had some cool chairs that are Lil C approved.
We also had a fabulous oceanfront view that Lil C enjoyed immensely. I mostly just freaked out and continued to test the rails to make sure they were up to my standard.
In addition, there were two oceanfront pools. One had a swim-up bar that I did not get to enjoy despite the fact that I kept telling Mr. BBM that he was "on duty" and that I was going to go make some new friends at the bar. I’m all talk apparently.
The other was a kiddie pool where I spent most of our time getting splashed by some kid who thought my legs were pool toys. I started to seriously consider practicing some take downs, especially when he got his little hands all in order to splash Lil C again, after both of us and his Dad told him to knock it off. Mr. BBM and I also took about 3000 turns each catching Lil C at the bottom of a kiddie slide, when Mr. BBM wasn’t taking a ride himself. Lil C also cleared out her sinuses in the fountains that were just the right height for a good shock to the nostrils.
Lil C also enjoyed hanging out with her new buddy, the whale. That partially-transparent-because-she’s-so-white-girl is me, and that’s the most you’ll be seeing of my new swimsuit which was so delayed at Victoria’s Secret that I went out and bought a different one.
During our short stint on the actual beach, Lil C thought it was particularly funny to dump a bucket full of sand on my head. She also found the freezing cold waves pretty hysterical, especially when they splashed her "bum bum." The weekend was fabulous, minus the four hours it took us to get out of our actual room and down to the pool or beach each day. Putting sunscreen on children is completely exhausting.
Unlike North Carolina beaches where we go each year, Ocean City has a much younger crowd especially this time of year. A popular destination for Senior Week, I was reminded of the stark difference between my visit to OC MD 13 years ago compared to now, with two children. The difference is huge.
Thirteen years ago, I was partying with my friends after graduating high school. This weekend, I spent a large proportion of my time trying to get Lil C to sit in a high chair and/or just let me breathe for a minute. This is her idea of hanging out with Mommy, or "Me" as she likes to call me. We are officially in the "clingy" stage.
And then there’s my other kid who’s not clingy in the tiniest bit, which had me constantly scanning the pool and freaking out when I couldn’t find her and her cute little floral bikini.
So to those going off to Senior Week within the next few weeks, my message to you is simple: Enjoy it, because in 10-15 years you’re going to be a little less hot (a little people, not much), and a lot more busy putting sunscreen on little munchkins. You’ll trade your Coppertone oil in for SPF 50 minimum. Gone are the nights spent partying until 2 a.m. In fact, 10:30 starts looking like a pretty reasonable bedtime after a day at the beach. The good news is that you’ll spend a lot less money on beer in the future; and instead of laughing at your drunk friends, you’ll be laughing along with your kids who are having an absolute blast.
Meme Times Three
I’ve been tagged for about 400 meme’s over the past week or so. They are all below. Feel free to play along if you like. The first two are courtesy of Becky. I thought I’d add the details of my second munchkin behind the details of the first. The last one is from my fellow brown belt, the Blue Chair Karate-Ka.
Mommy Meme
1. WAS YOUR PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Big I: Yes and no. I remember crying in the car and talking to my husband about how badly I wanted to start our family because I wanted my kids to know my grandparents, etc. Turns out I was pregnant. At least it explains the tears. I’m not typically one to cry.
Lil C: Yes and no. After 14 months of no luck, I had given up. That’s when I got pregnant.
2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
Big I: Yes, for a little less than two years.
Lil C: Yes.
3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Big I: I was so excited, but I was sort of in shock too. There were just so many unknowns and not enough formulated action plans yet. Mr. BBM immediately put the date on the calendar and started calling family. I hit the books and freaked out about the possibility of hemorrhoids.
Lil C: I was so relieved that it had finally happened. I couldn’t wait to tell Big I!
4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Never.
5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
Big I: 25 when I got pregnant; 26 when I had her.
Lil C: 29 when I got pregnant; 30 when I had her.
6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
Big I: E-P-T and there was no doubt. I remember looking at the two lines only seconds after I started the test and thought, "well, I have to wait until the three minutes are up." I was just so shocked that it was positive.
Lil C: I took a First Response-Early Results test and got a faint pink line. The next day, I took another test and there was no doubt.
7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
Big I and Lil C: Mr. BBM
8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
Big I: No, I figured not knowing would be my incentive to push and get through the pain. Little did I know that because of the pain, the only thing I would care about is getting “it out” (Yes, that’s a direct quote.)
Lil C: I wasn’t going to, but then when I had to have an ultrasound I figured why not?
9. DUE DATE?
Big I: My first due date was March 10 (my Dad’s deceased Mom’s birthday). They later moved my due date to March 24th (Mr. BBM’s birthday); but like everyone else from my family, she was late and arrived on March 28th (but only after hours of double-strength pitocin and lots of Exorcist like action).
Lil C: October 3, 2005
10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
Big I: Hell yeah. I couldn’t even brush my teeth without gagging. Everything made me sick. I was teaching at the time and students would come up to me with brochures to buy different foods for fundraisers. I’d start gagging and heaving and would have to send them away until after lunch. Sometimes the sickness lasted all day long.
Lil C: Not really. I had two weeks where I felt sort of off and had to watch what I ate. Then I was fine.
11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Big I: Auntie Ann’s Jalapeno Soft Pretzels with cheese sauce, Cherry ICEE’s, red meat and cheese (I ate my first Prime Rib dinner while a few months pregnant), and later in the pregnancy, anything with apples (applesauce, cider, juice, cereal).
Lil C: Salad (because it was one of the only things I could eat without having to count carbs and watch sugar), hamburgers (no roll) and an occasional piece of dark chocolate when I had a low blood sugar.
12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
Big I: I had three 10th grade students in one of my classes who were all pregnant. What annoyed me was that they thought we were pregnancy buddies or something. I made it very clear that we were not. I also couldn’t stand what I like to call “belly rubbers”: people who tried to rub mine and people who couldn’t quit rubbing their own.
Lil C: All the appointments. . . having gestational diabetes got to be a real pain in the butt. I couldn’t wait until she was finally born.
13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD’S SEX?
Both: Girls
14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
Both: No, I just wanted a healthy baby.
15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
Big I: 30+ but I lost it all within four weeks of giving birth.
Lil C: 18, and it was gone after two weeks
16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
Big I: Yes, four to be exact.
Lil C: No.
17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I didn’t see the one coming from the science department (Mr. BBM taught science).
18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
Big I: No.
Lil C: Yes, gestational diabetes.
19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Big I: Christiana Hospital in Delaware
Lil C: A hospital instead of the birth center. Big bummer.
20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
Big I: 14.5
Lil C: 15
21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
Both: Mr. BBM
22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Big I: The doctor, an annoying nurse, Mr. BBM, my Mom, and although he didn’t actually watch, my Dad was also in the room staring intently out the window at the parking lot.
Lil C: My midwife, a nurse, and Mr. BBM.
23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
Both: Natural
24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
Big I: No epidural, but I did have a shot of stadol to help my muscles relax so she would move down already. That was about the only thing it helped because it didn’t do a damn thing for the pain except make me care less that I was in agony. It also made me swear. . . a lot.
Lil C: No, nothing.
25. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
Big I: 8 lbs 0 oz. with a head circumference in the 95th percentile. This came as a surprise to everyone but me. Man that hurt.
Lil C: 7 lbs. 10 oz. with a head circumference in the 95th percentile. Um, hum. Yeah.
26. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ?
Big I: March 28, 2001 at 1:29 a.m.
Lil C: October 4, 2005 at 1:05 a.m.
27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
Big I: Big I (Sorry folks that’s all you’re getting.) She has a fabulous first name and shares her middle name with both me and my Mom.
Lil C: Lil C has a great first name and beautiful middle name too.
28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? Six and Lil C is 19 months.
7 Random Facts About Me
1. I’m one of those people who get involved. When I was in college, some poor kid was getting beat to a pulp by a group of gang-banger types in a large dorm lobby. While a crowd of about 40 people stood around doing nothing, I cut through the crowd, grabbed the bloody kid off the ground, and walked him out of the circle of on-lookers to an office where the cleaning people locked the door behind us and called for help. The group of guys beating him stood there just looking at me with these stupid looks on their faces. I think they were just so shocked that some skinny blonde chick would just waltz into their fight fest and stop it. For me, there was no choice. I had to help.
2. The blonder I am, the more positive an outlook I have on life.
3. I took French classes for five years, but I mostly just remember the swear words.
4. I have terrible road rage.
5. I have even worse parental rage. When someone does something to one of my kids or says something about one of them, or hurts their feelings. . . I could just kill.
6. I consider myself to be very interested in politics; but as of right now I have absolutely no idea which candidate I like better. I do know the ones I don’t like.
7. Even though I can’t really sing, I still fantasize about being a big star, selling out stadiums, and making tons of money.
Five Favorite Places to Eat
Max & Erma’s: I have been writing this restaurant chain for years and begging them to open up a restaurant near my house. Right now, I have to drive at least 45 minutes to get to the closest one, but it is well worth it for the Tortilla soup and Santa Fe salad.
Stokesay Castle: I had my wedding reception at this amazing location on top of a mountain in the woods. The castle is a replica of an actual European castle and is amazing. The food was always decent (although not amazing), but you can’t beat the ambience. Sadly, the restaurant is closed and the castle is now for sale.
Panda Heaven: This is our local hibachi restaurant and although I haven’t been there for a long time, I absolutely love the food. The last time I was there, I was pregnant and had green tea ice cream. I was totally stuffed and haven’t gotten rid of that way-too-full feeling yet, so I haven’t been back in a long time.
Bruno’s Pizza: This pizzeria has been around forever. When I was a teenager, it used to be the place where all the hot guys hung out on weekend nights in the summer. Now, it’s just the place I grab a pizza and wings from when I can’t bear to think about cooking.
Emily’s: The last time I was there, I had crab cakes with a green olive tartar sauce that was out of this world. Their crab stuffed mushrooms appetizer was amazing too. I can always count on having a good glass of wine there too.
I am now totally meme’d out. I’m sure you are too! If you need me, I’ll be unpacking from a long weekend at the beach, and cleaning sand out of my ears courtesy of Lil C.
Sparring is Mental and Blood is Cool
I don’t suck at sparring.
One simple statement and it makes a world of difference. I feel like I’ve rounded a corner in my training. I feel like I had a major break last night. When I arrived for class, we were told to gear up. Instead of filling up with dread and doubt, I made a conscious effort to do the opposite. I gave myself a pep talk.
"You are going to go out there and spar. You are not going to apologize while sparring. You are not going to doubt yourself. You are not going to plan your moves. You are going to watch, react, and attack based on what your gut is telling you, not your brain. You are going to spar and you are going to do it well."
And then I went out on the floor and ran through some drills. I had a rare opportunity to work with another brown belt. We worked on some kicking and punching drills. After we were warmed up, we did tournament style sparring with three judges. Since I have never attended a tournament (and probably never will) I asked for clarification on the rules and what constitutes a point. And then, contrary to what I do every other time I spar, I made no action plans. I forced myself to stay open mentally and concentrated on just being there and being in the moment.
I first sparred against the other brown belt. I wanted to be nervous. She has sparred in tournaments and I know she has done well. I forced myself to not think about it.
I used front leg kicks and back fists to the head. At one point I got a kick up to her head. I sort of shocked myself. I got the first point; she got the second and then I got two more. My instructor and another black belt complimented me on my going in high and my front leg kicks. Those compliments felt so good.
At one point my instructor stopped the match and went in to spar with my opponent to give her some tips against my long arms. Both of the black belts told her that she wasn’t going to outreach me, so they gave her some tips on what to do instead. Apparently there are some benefits to having primate arms.
After sparring with her, they asked me to choose another opponent and I chose a second degree black belt who I’ve never sparred before. He gave me some good advice on how to further utilize the front leg kicks and turn them into combination moves.
Later I sparred against my fifth degree black belt instructor. In my early days of karate, I used to follow him around the floor and kick him in the butt. Please don’t read that as "kick his butt" because "kicking someone’s butt" and "kicking someone in the butt" are two very different things. His stance is completely sideways and there are no openings to be easily found. So, I would throw kicks up and just kick his butt because that’s all he gave me. It’s a pretty ineffective way of sparring. Last night I was better than the early days, but still not great. I definitely need to work on strategy for sparring against someone whose stance is sideways.
Mr. BBM tends to spar straight on and so I’ve come up with techniques to work against that. Sideways is more difficult because trying to open a person up tends to get me side-kicked. I’ll have to work on that.
What I don’t need to work on is my new attitude towards sparring. I was able to talk the nerves down enough to just go with it. I kept repeating "sparring is mental" to myself. And if my performance last night is any indication, I think my new mantra is dead on.
I’m not the only person who made progress this week. Big I’s progress was astounding to me. She still doesn’t have her kata nailed down yet, but she’s had a bit of an attitude adjustment too; and it’s one that I’m thrilled about.
At the BBM household, there is always a lot of laundry. Big I will get a small water droplet on her shirt and immediately go change. Piece of fuzz that doesn’t come right off? Outfit change. Tiny little dirt spot on her sock after playing outside??? Wardrobe malfunction! New outfit required immediately.
Last week, Big I got a brush burn on her knee. At karate this week, she bumped the healing scrape and a few little droplets of blood appeared on her gi pants. I was fully expecting a meltdown, complete with demands to let her change immediately. She showed me the blood and I shrugged it off with a smile.
"You have blood on your gi!?!" I exclaimed. "Yes," she answered with an unsure look on her face. "Wow! That’s cool. You officially have a cool gi now Big I." She responded with, "Since I have blood on my gi, does that make me tough?"
"Absolutely!" I said. She got the biggest grin on her face and spent the rest of class admiring her blood stains. It was another proud Mommy moment. . . one that didn’t end with an immediate need for laundry detergent. We have obviously both taken a positive turn in our training.
Sparring is mental; and blood is indeed very cool.
Mamasource: The Non-Abbreviation Zone
I’m not really a message board kind of girl. When I was pregnant for the first time I was teaching high school English. Unfortunately, I can’t count on one hand how many students handed in research papers or essays that included instant message lingo. Many of my students used "2" for "to" and I’m pretty sure that I had several "LOL"’s in essays when they obviously shouldn’t have been there. Laughing out loud, I certainly was NOT.
So, when I went looking for pregnant friends online, I found none. I had enough "lingo" to deal with in the classroom. Parenting and Pregnancy message boards left much to be desired. I assumed "DH" meant, well, nickname for Richard plus add "head". I never saw "Dear Husband" coming. "TTC" which I’ve since learned is "trying to conceive" had me scratching my head and thinking that the person maybe had some spelling issues? Trying to use the word tickle and took a very wrong turn? Tank top and capri’s? I had no clue. So I left them well enough alone.
When I was asked to do a review of Mamasource by Mother Talk, I fully expected to need a decoder key on the message boards. I was pleasantly surprised to find that most of the Mom’s online had no such code lingo, but instead use actual words and English.
The other pleasant thing about Mamasource is that when you sign up, you are immediately put into a "community" with other Mom’s from your area. Since I don’t live in San Francisco, NYC, or Philadelphia, I expected to be disappointed. Instead, I found a great many reviews of local attractions, restaurants, and things to do from real live Mom’s in my area. Apparently I have one less excuse for having no local friends.
I spent time reading reviews of parks, doctors, restaurants, etc. I also spent some time on the sight reading questions and posting answers on things I felt comfortable throwing my two cents in about. To test it, I posted a question myself but I haven’t received any responses as of yet. (I asked about a certain neighborhood and it’s reputation.)
Although many of the Mom’s in my area seem to be in their early to mid twenties, there were several I saw in their 40’s and beyond. Although I haven’t made any real connections from the site as of yet, I think that it’s entirely possible that I might. Of course, the demographics of Mom’s who actually take karate to those who just drive their kids to karate is probably a bit lacking, so I realize I probably just need to start being a bit less picky in choosing my friends. Of course, the single 23-year old with four kids and mascara issues and I are probably not going to become fast friends; but I’m sure there are other Mom’s out there like me who haven’t had a shower since Sunday and could care less about which brand of mascara makes lashes longer, y’all (totally her words, not mine).
Unlike many of the other parenting hot-spots online, Mamasource sends out a daily email that includes the latest requests and online reviews from Mom’s in my area. Although at first I was a bit annoyed at another intrusion on my inbox, I’ve found that the daily email has forced me to try to make connections. With all the blogs I read each day, it would be entirely possible to just skip visiting Mamasource. Instead, I have a daily reminder and can go visit the site if something piques my interest in the daily email.
Despite the daily email, your identity and email is completely protected since the site has a strong anti-spam stance. So, you can rest assured that no one will be asking you if you’d like to purchase some cialis. Mary Kay products? Entirely possible on the boards, but when it comes to enhancement drugs, it’s a safe zone.
There’s one last thing I’d like to add about Mamasource that I thought was pretty nice. A Mom posted a question about how she could get her kids to sleep later since they wake at the crack of dawn. One Mom responded with some snarky comment about her being selfish for wanting to sleep later. (My area is known for being pretty rude, and we like to live up to that label.) My response was that the sleep-deprived Mom should pull her daughter into bed with her and say "It’s too early" and then pretend to be asleep. It always worked for me, and was important because I likes me some sleep. The next day, I saw that I was given a "flower" for my response. Another random Mom out there liked my answer enough to award me a flower and I thought that was super sweet. A message board with flowers for rewards and no abbreviations is pretty cool as far as my standards go.
If you’re a Mom and looking for a community of other Mom’s in your area, Mamasource is the place to be. TTYL, DR. TTCM ("Talk to you Later, Dear Readers. Time to Check Mamasource" for those of you who are completely clueless.)
Worst Start to a Monday EVER
7:15 AM- Wake up Big I for school.
7:30 AM- Realize Big I is almost completely ready for school. She may actually be EARLY for a change.
7:45 AM- Wake up Lil C and prepare to leave.
7:47 AM- Go to my purse to get my keys and remember I left my keys in the diaper bag.
7:48 AM- Frantically realize that diaper bag is locked in the car.
7:49 AM- Call Mr. BBM, who is already at work, who tells me to point the phone at the car while he hits the unlock button from 45 minutes away in his office because he obviously thinks he’s McGuyver or something.
7:50 AM- Run outside with Lil C in my arms to double-check that car is indeed locked.
7:51 AM- Hear the front door slam behind me and see Big I standing outside the house. Do the slow "NOOOOOOOOO" scream. Realize that the three of us are now locked out of the car AND the house.
7:52 AM- . . . but I still have the phone. Hang up with Mr. BBM and call Mom.
7:53 AM- Mom is on her way. The three of us sit down and cuddle to keep warm because it is cool this morning. We also fight a losing battle with a family of mosquito’s who probably felt they had just discovered a buffet.
8:16 AM- Mom arrives, let’s us in the house and hands me her keys to take Big I to school.
8:25 AM- Pull into school and realize that the door Big I always goes in is now locked. (This is her first time being late.) She’ll have to go in the office, which means I’ll have to go in with her. Realize that I am wearing bright lime green capri pajamas with cats all over them, a t-shirt from college that now has paint all over it. . . . and no bra to the school with the best dressed Mom’s before 9 AM that I have ever seen. We won’t even begin to discuss the state of my hair.
8:26 AM- Explain to entire office full of school personnel and extremely well-dressed Mom’s why we’re late.
8:27 AM- Return to car and drive home.
8:40 AM- Mr. BBM calls from work and says that there’s a valet key in the house that would have worked in the car, and indeed it does.
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