March 28, 2007

“I’m too big”

Dear Big I,

Today, at 1:29 a.m., you will turn six years old. This is not news to you because you’ve been counting down the days since about December. Tonight at the grocery store, instead of climbing into the truck shopping cart with your sister, you stood back and watched her climb in before saying, "I’m too big to get in there." Daddy said he felt his heart break a little bit, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that mine did as well. This is nothing new for either of us because each year of watching you turn a new number has brought excitement mixed with a bit of sadness. You’re growing up so fast.

This has been such a year of changes for us. You went from being a stay-at-home kid to being a Kindergarten girl. It wasn’t a transition that was easy for either of us; but you weathered it like a pro and have made Daddy and I so proud. You’ve learned many things over the past year: how to tie your shoes by yourself, how to sound out words, and count to 100. You’ve also learned that sometimes kids can be mean. But along with that, you’ve learned to let things roll off your shoulders and to stick up for yourself when necessary. That was a lesson I was hoping you would wait a few more years to have to learn.

I’ve watched you grow from a little girl into a big girl this year and saw your independence like never before. I’ve also seen the struggle you’ve gone through between wanting to remain a baby versus growing up. I don’t blame you on the days you’d rather stay little.

Today was a beautiful day and we spent much of the day outside playing together, you, me and Lil C. It was an ordinary day except that I kept thinking about the fact that on this day six years ago, I was in labor anxiously awaiting your arrival. Six years later, you stand tall enough to be on a collision course with my elbows on a daily basis, but I am still your number one playmate. I don’t know how many more years that will be the case. So, today will be one of the many days that I lock away in my memory for safe keeping.

When I think about the fact that Kindergarten is quickly coming to an end, and that you’ll be leaving me to go to school all day next year, I could just sob. There are some days that I just can’t wait until you get home from school. But I’m going to try not to get ahead of myself and instead think about the whole summer we have to spend together.

You are a beautiful young lady, inside and out. I can’t wait to see what "6" brings. Happy Birthday Big I!

I love you,

Mommy

If you’d like to read Big I’s birth story, you can do so here.