March 16, 2007

In the beginning

Thanks to Dani and Becky for submitting questions. Man, either my blog is an open book and you know everything you ever wanted to about me, or you just don’t care to know any more. Either way, it’s all good. I answered Becky’s question via email. Dani’s could be an entire book. . .

Dani posed this question: What inspired/motivated you to start karate, and what inspires you to continue?

When I was growing up, I always thought it would be cool to know karate. I thought that you went to a karate school and you learned all kinds of secret things, like if you push your finger on a person’s knee at just the right spot, they would fall over in pain and die.

The problem was that I was so busy with field hockey, softball, athletic training, student council, french club, ping-pong club (yes you heard me correctly), lousy boyfriends, playing the saxophone, etc. etc. etc. that I really didn’t have time to even look into the possibility of taking karate classes. I didn’t know a single person who took karate and I knew next to nothing about it.

When I went to college, I was required to take physical education credits. Karate was an option and I was very interested in taking the course. But then I heard that the final exam for the class was walking through the streets of Pittsburgh and being randomly attacked by people they had throughout the streets and that scared the living daylights out of me. Instead, I took a life guarding refresher class so I would be able to have a cool job the next summer, and then followed that with a dance class that I failed (That’s an entirely different post).

As a volunteer PEER Educator on my college campus, I spoke to many people about rape and sexual assault through those years. Every once in a while we would have seminars on campus where we would bring in these awesome martial artists who would do demonstrations on fighting off knife attacks, gun attacks and other unpleasantries. I thought it was so cool, but I was really busy with college classes, work, and Mr. BBM. So, I continued my years in college hearing about these karate classes and wanting to take them so badly, but I was just too busy and honestly too afraid. I bought a big can of mace instead.

There were a great many years that followed college: grad school, moving to DE, moving to PA, moving to NJ, moving back to PA and I never even gave karate a thought.

Then I had Big I.

I always had these things I like to call "action plans." I think about a potentially bad scenario like a fire in my house or an attacker in a parking lot and I create a plan in my head as to what I would do. Some people might call that a mental illness; I call it being prepared. For as long as I can remember, I have always thought about these types of things.

I began thinking about them more and more after I had my first daughter. What if someone attacked me while I was putting her in her car seat? What if someone tried to take my daughter?

Then my husband took a job where he was traveling constantly and my ~~mental illness~~ action plans took on a whole new life. I walked through parking lots with my keys sticking out between my fingers; I formulated plans for a break-in when I was by myself with the baby. I felt scared and powerless and I didn’t like it one bit.

When Big I turned three she wanted to go to Princess Camp. It was a summer full of princess activities and her friend/neighbor wanted to go as well. Each week, we would go early and watch Big I’s friend take karate classes before we would eat dinner and the girls would take Princess Camp. Big I loved watching her friend wear sparring gear and learn to kick and punch.

It was at the end of one of these classes that the instructors came out and started talking to all the observers and parents. Apparently, the dance school was growing and they didn’t have room for the karate classes anymore. I was disappointed because Big I had just started expressing an interest in starting karate and I was more than happy to switch out Princess Camp for Karate.

To make a long conversation short, I found out about my dojo through the instructors and a group of us decided that we would enroll our kids in the karate school and that we, the parents, would also start classes. We began as a great group with three families, each with one kid taking karate. Now, Big I and I are the only ones left from our group.

Karate sort of fell into my lap. I’d always had this interest, but it wasn’t something I sought out. It sort of found me at just the right time. Karate helps me create workable action plans, feel more confident, and it keeps me centered in a way I never imagined it would or could. I wanted to take karate for so many reasons, but the reason that I continue to go and be motivated today is because karate has become such a huge part of who I am and who I want to be.

I get lots of hits on this site from people searching for the fastest way to a black belt and the styles with the least amount of requirements to get to black belt. It really surprises me because when I started I never imagined I’d be anywhere close to getting a black belt. That was never why I started. When I first started going I thought that it would be really cool if I could become a green belt some day. I didn’t know what being a green belt meant. Heck, I didn’t know what being a white belt meant. All I knew is that I felt pretty cool when I ran in to the pizza shop to pick up a pie wearing my gi.

It’s funny because as a white belt I knew how to get out of a basic wrist grab and I thought I was invincible. I wanted to flaunt that I took karate. I remember that when our group got our yellow belts, we wanted to wear them out in public. We felt all big and bad. Now, I don’t wear my gi anywhere unless it’s just to run into the store quickly. And I never wear the gi jacket, only the pants. I figure most people probably just think I’m wearing scrubs anyway. I don’t flaunt it because I don’t want to invite trouble, and because I don’t have to wear my gi to show my karate anymore. It comes from within, and the knowledge and confidence that I’ve developed from karate is just a part of me now, not defined by some exterior uniform or color on a belt.

When I miss a class or two (like this week since I’ve decided to keep my germs to myself), things don’t feel right. Even when we’re working on something intimidating like blindfolded self defense, I leave the dojo afterwards feeling refreshed and calm. I can’t imagine not doing karate. I think I will probably be one of those 80-year old women still doing kata and showing kids how its done. At least, that’s what I hope I’ll be some day, a long time from now.

I started karate to calm the action plans; but I continue because it’s who I am and I can’t imagine my life without it.