December 17, 2006

A Bright Yellow Blip in an Otherwise Yucky Weekend

Friday morning my Dad was admitted to the hospital under emergent conditions again. The diagnosis this time? A blood clot, hanging by a thread, in his calf. He had a procedure done while completely 100% awake and aware to place a filter in a vein in case the clot comes loose and travels to areas where the harm could be devastating. I can not even begin to imagine being awake while someone threads a filter into your neck and down through your vein.

It has been a month since his craniotomy and now he sits in the hospital once again. We are hoping that the blood thinners start working and that they don’t cause harm to his already fragile brain so that he can come home soon. Needless to say, I am completely stressed, worried, and on top of all of that, I am getting sick like the girls (but that was written in the stars).

Adding to the stress, karate testing was on Saturday. Big I is now a 7th kyu yellow belt. She is super excited about her new color. She insisted on visiting her Pop-Pop at the hospital after testing so she could show him her new belt, something she had never really thought about before. She has been working really hard at home, actually asking me to help her with her kata and self defense.

Testing this time didn’t go much beyond kata (her weakest component) and waza, so she didn’t really get to show off her self defense and her Japanese vocabulary that she’s been working on faithfully. My only wish is that at testing she would do the things the way she does them at home. She gets very shy and tentative at the dojo, but at home her kiai can be heard by the neighbors. Testing was a full house this time and I think that was intimidating for her. I know that with time that will improve, I hope.

I also "tested" on Saturday but did not get my next stripe. I received the compliment of all compliments from the head instructor when he said that my nunchaku kata is "one of my best" and that he was surprised that I felt I had issues with it. I was floored and have to make sure to relay that compliment to the instructor who taught me that particular kata, because he probably would have liked to knock me unconscious with the nunchaku as he continued to patiently beat it into my head week after week after week for the past several months.

So back to the lack of stripe business, my instructor said that there are mandatory waits at certain belts and that I’m currently in one. I asked and he clarified that it was not at all a reflection on how well I did my material, only that I need to wait until March to get the next stripe. I’m fine with waiting. I wait now, test in March, test in June, and then start the six month cycle before black belt testing which will hopefully happen in December of 2007.

Was I disappointed? Sure I was, especially since as high rank I was there for a very long time on Saturday when a lot was going on in my family. It didn’t really bother me until I got home and was telling my husband about it. Then I started thinking that all the other students who were there and all the people who were watching testing may very well think that I failed my test when they don’t see a new stripe on my belt. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think, but the human flaw is that I do.

I’m going to try not to let it bother me if someone notices or says something, and instead concentrate on learning the material for 2nd kyu and tweaking the kata’s I already know. I’ll have to do that anyway before black belt testing. No time like the present to continue getting ready.

After all, a wait period is small potatoes compared to craniotomies and blood clots so I’m going to count my blessings and hope that 2007 brings lots of good health for my family and a black belt for me.