They Found Me Out
I’m going to go backwards in my karate recap this week, because it was the end of class tonight that was so mind-blowing. It all started with a simple statement by one of the new black belts:
"By the way, I like your blog," she said.
"You read my BLOG," I blurted out in surprise. "Which one?" I asked her. "Both," she responded. "I like your writing style," she said. Oh, Good GOD! I don’t know how I expected to remain anonymous. My hometown newspaper publishes a stripped down version of my blog on their website. It’s easily accessible to people who want to read the newspaper online. I just kind of figured that people in my hometown didn’t read blogs. I guess I was wrong. Then she says:
"Mrs. "D" told me about it." ACK! "Mrs. D" is the mother of two new junior black belts at our dojo. One of her students is the 10-year old who completely kicked my butt while sparring, AND I WROTE ABOUT IT!
My instructor seemed excited that I was writing about karate and thrust a notebook and pen at me to write down the website. While I was writing, my reader says, "Yeah, she writes about you," to my instructor. He gave me a look like he didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. I assured him it was totally fine. I’m an honest person and I speak the truth on this site. The good thing is that the truth about what happens at my dojo is usually a good thing, and I am totally NOT just saying that because I fully realize that my instructor will probably print out my blog for the entire dojo to read. ACK! Did I just say that? Please Mr. Instructor Man- no printing of the blog. Yeah, it’s. . . um. . . copyrighted or something.
So, from now on if my entries seem a little more detailed, like not just "the tall teenage black belt", but instead "the tall dashingly handsome and always so helpful and one heck of a kata-er black belt", well you know why; And if his sister isn’t simply described as "his sister and fellow black belt" but instead as "a loyal and faithful reader o’ mine who happens to have a command over her weapons kata’s like the Okinawan Master’s themselves". . . Well, it’s just me, a 4th kyu, trying to kiss some black belt bum. And while we’re addressing my fellow dojo-goer’s, "Hi guys!" and "Please don’t hurt me."
Everyone likes to see their name in lights or in blog writing for this example, but rest assured that your names will not be used and I will ALWAYS (from this point forward) be absent on sparring days just in case you’re not flattered by my description of one of you totally kicking me in the mammaries or something. Moving right along. . .
I’ve been accused on my hometown blog of being "self-absorbed" to which I would respond, "Dude, it’s a blog which means web log or ‘journal’, which means it’s my personal experiences, thoughts, and is therefore untouchable to the accusation of being self-absorbed. So, in the nature of being self-absorbed, I’m just going to come out and say it: Karate tonight was ALL ABOUT ME! That’s right. ME!
And thanks to this occurrence during both the intermediate and advanced classes, I know ALL of my kata’s for 3rd kyu. They are by no means perfect and I have to continue to work at committing them to memory and hope that by testing they flow the way they should. I now know them well enough to practice them at home.
I bragged tonight by making my husband watch me perform all three of my kata’s (including the sai kata thanks to a generous loan from my instructor because my ordered sai are apparently being molded out of liquid magma or something and apparently this takes time). When I caught my husband’s attention waning and his eyes drifting towards the Seinfeld episode behind me, I called him on it. His response, to his 4th kyu wife? "Well, you’re like talking to yourself." UM, YEAH! I need to talk myself through them until I know them well enough to just do them. He needs to remember there are SAI in the house. SAI, you know with points and very dagger like. Yeah. I like undivided attention, lending credence to the whole self-absorbed thing. Seriously, some of my rude commenter’s over there say that like it’s a bad thing. Geesh.
But getting back to me. . . during the intermediate class, we worked almost exclusively on Nai Hanchi Sandan. It is a cool kata that moves on a straight line like the other Nai Hanchi kata’s, and it is all arms. When you know this one really well, it looks awesome. During the past few years at the dojo, I always enjoyed seeing the higher ranks perform this kata. They just look so wicked when they’re doing it. We’ll see how good I can get it by next week. I don’t know if I can pull off "wicked" quite yet, especially since the breathing I’m supposed to start doing during kata’s makes me feel like I’m going to hyperventilate. That would be wicked looking alright.
During the advanced class, we worked almost exclusively on Pinan Sandan. I am not a Pinan fan. This one seems particularly strange and during one part Big I almost always laughs. With your fists on your hips you step through and block with your fists still on your hips, followed by a back fist. You do this three times. It feels more like "I’m a Little Teapot" than a kata and I think that’s why Big I gets such a kick out of it.
I plan on spending a lot of time working on kata this week. (I also plan on spending a lot of time going through old entries and editing out "spicing up" descriptions of my fellow dojo mates.) This is the crucial week. If I work on it, it will get cemented in the brain. If I don’t, I just might lose it and THAT is not an option with testing just a few short weeks away.
Why do I have the feeling that returning to the dojo next week is going to feel like going back to school after puking in the classroom the previous day?
Oh, and one last thing. For testing, we usually have a list of karate vocabulary that we need to know. Here is this week’s vocabulary list for one of my favorite new blogger finds, Mr. SecondHand Karl himself. I "rented" a spot on his illustrious site last week and his descriptions of me and my site were nothing short of hysterical. So, to thank him for all the free promo, here is a list of vocabulary words for you Karl. Feel free to use them however you choose:
- pinan
- sandan
- nai
- hanchi
- sai
- magma
- humiliation
- embarrassment
- witness protection program (I really hope it doesn’t come to this. . . )
Did you make it this far? Seriously!?! If you did, please say "Hi" so that I can at least email you back the last 20 minutes of your life.
Rockstar Elimination: Week 7
My predicting skills are getting better, don’t you think? Ryan gets the encore; I nail two out of three for the bottom three. . . I didn’t see Zayra going home before Patrice though.
There were some unusual tidbits about the show tonight.
- Supernova did their first live performance tonight. They chose Dilana to front them for the song and she did a great job. The song had the ability to be a little catchy. . . right up until the dancers came on stage that had to be loaners from Sir-Mix-A-Lot. What was up with THAT? Has any rock band ever had dancers like that? EVER? Maybe I’m naive, but I always thought they saved the girls for AFTER the show, not during. I thought that was Super Tacky, Supernova. It may be eye candy for you, but it confuses the heck out of your audience.
- Have you ever noticed how singers who have accents lose their accents when they sing? Have you noticed that Zayra doesn’t lose hers when she sings? It’s sort of odd. The really odd thing is that although she is from Puerto Rico, she sounds like she has more of a Russian accent. Very odd, but I’m sure we’ll be seeing her. . . eventually.
- Magni performed "Creep" tonight and I thought it was a little odd that he seemed so sad. He sort of teared up at the end of the performance or it at least looked like he did. Then, he looked over to the other contestants and Dilana and Storm were just bawling. Last night, Magni said he didn’t remember much of what happened when he was in Vegas. Do Storm and Dilana know something? Why did he sing "Creep" with such feeling, such emotion and tear up at the end? Was it simply that moving of a performance, or did something happen in Vegas that he’s hoping will stay in Vegas? Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the rockstar mansion. I wonder how his wife feels about how he had Patrice camped out on his lap with his arms around her at the end of the show. If he was my husband, I’d be slightly disgruntled as in "you can find all your clothing and worldly possessions in our front yard MISTER".
And that wraps up this weeks Rockstar Supernova. See all you crazy googlers next week! Thanks for stopping by!
I know I don’t usually talk about any other TV shows but I am also a bit obsessed with Project Runway. I’ve got an "OH NO THEY DIDN’T" for them this week. People, I know Alison’s design was bad, but it was her second design. She gave it her all and she DOES have talent. I am simply in awe that Vincent was declared "in" instead of her. Of course, producers do have a say in the judge’s decisions and Vincent is certainly more controversial than sweet, normal Alison. NOT FAIR!
Rockstar Recap: Week 7
After watching the stripped down performances this week and then hearing the comments from Supernova, I have a theory.
Supernova did not think it was fun to party with Storm.
There is absolutely no other explanation for how hard they dissed her performance. She changed up "I’ll Survive" and made it her own. It was at least interesting, compared to some of the other performances tonight: Patrice who did no justice to "Message in a Bottle" and Toby who took a Peter Gabriel song and made it into mush as far as I’m concerned.
Supernova raved about Toby and Dave told him he had the performance of the night, until Ryan sang of course. So, to test my theory, I went online and watched part of a reality episode on the Rockstar Supernova website. My theory, from the brief footage I saw, appears to be dead on.
The highlights: Toby and Ryan did plenty of shots and had plenty of gal pals hanging around. Dilana bowled and Supernova was 100% smitten with her bowling ability. She was in the clear and they began calling her "Strike." Where was Storm during all of this?
She was staring into the camera all googly-eyed, going on and on about how she just loves the hot tub because it has such a great view. She was standing in the hot tub, appearing to stroll around in the waters wearing what appeared to be leather underwear and a bustier to match. Did I mention the pigtails? Yeah, she had pigtails. Did I mention she appeared to be completely by herself admiring the view?
It’s sort of like the post I wrote a little while ago about blind dates. You think you’re in love with a voice, an email, an instant message and then you meet the person and you get an entirely different idea about who they are and what your future holds. Supernova has seen the contestants on stage, but partying with them. . . well, that was revealing. And what it revealed is that Storm’s party style doesn’t mesh.
Enough theories. . . onto the recap:
Zayra started the night with an original performance. She toned down her SuperHero-esque look this week and traded it in for a flowing red skirt and black bikini top. Her song was beautiful. It was certainly not Supernova material, but it was beautiful none-the-less. It reminded me of a ballad that Shakira would sing. It won’t get her the job, but it might keep her in yet another week.
Magni showed up looking like he was auditioning for Miami Vice II, but his performance was very good. He performed "Starman". The guys are definitely digging his performances and he is fast becoming a worthy option. (I did not however, get to see his party style and once again question whether a family man with a young child can really do this job.)
Patrice performed a lackluster Sting song and well. . . lacked luster. She started off o.k., but her performance fell flat. It’s very likely she’ll be the next to go.
Lukas sat down to perform this week which bothered Supernova. What bothered me was that despite being grounded literally, he still had enough jerky movements to make you think he just might be seizing. But what bothered me even more tonight was how in a 30 second window, his face went through about 400 expressions. It was very unsettling in a does-he-have-schizophrenia type of way? His version of "Hero" wasn’t enough to impress me this week, and Jason Newsted pointed out that once again, he’s closing his throat or what I like to call "screeching."
Storm got Gloria Gaynor and made the best of it. I’ll say it again-party styles don’t mesh, which means she will not win.
Toby performed "Solsbury Hill" and I thought it was completely dull. He had a redeeming moment at the end where he started drumming like a mad man on some bongo’s (I think. I’m no drumming expert.) I’m waiting for him to wow me the way he did in the early weeks, and I’m just not seeing it.
Ryan performed Phil Collin’s "In the Air Tonight" and did it justice. He made it much harder than the original, and he looked awesome tonight. I much prefer his more natural spiked look to the hoodie mohawk thing he had going on last week. He is a front-runner for sure, especially after all the attention he garnered from the ladies in Vegas. He looked like a typical rockstar, complete with Carmen Electra look-alikes hanging all over him. If only their brains could be as big as their hair. . .
Dilana performed "Cat’s in the Cradle" and was consistently good again. I imagine a Supernova with Dilana up front as one where there will be lots of bowling and more of keeping the boys in line. That’s probably a good thing.
And now for the predictions (that are just about never right):
The encore goes to Ryan.
Bottom three are: Patrice, Zayra, and Toby.
We’ll see. . .
If you watched the show, what do YOU think?
Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!?
It was the end of August last year when my cousin called and asked if I wanted to play Fantasy Football in her league.
What?
What the hell is that? How could you possibly combine the words fantasy and football? (I’ve always been more of an ice hockey girl, so it was even more confusing to me). How could fantasy football possibly be any fun? I had no clue. I said something to my husband about it, and he was into it so we signed up. We had no clue how our lives would change.
We created a team name and logo combining our two favorite teams, Steelers and Eagles, and created Team Steagles. Because we only had four teams in our league last year, our team was stacked. We had Ladainian Tomlinson, Edgerrin James, Jeremy Shockey, Torry Holt, Larry Fitzgerald, Hines Ward and the Bears defense. At first I was disappointed when I saw who the auto-draft gave us. I had no clue who any of these players were and thought we got the short end of the stick. My husband was excited about our picks, and I soon learned that we had quite a team.
Sunday mornings became less about political talk shows and more about getting grocery shopping done so that we could be home for the first kick-off. We spent every Sunday entrenched in each and every football game on TV, watching the Live Scoring with excitement and anticipation. We spent a lot of time cursing Shaun Alexander, Santana Moss, and Larry Johnson. We spent even more time trying to convince Big I that football was infinitely more exciting than the Disney Channel. Monday nights were the same. We found ourselves staying up entirely too late to watch the end of each and every game (O.k. I lie there. It wasn’t "we". It was more like me, and me alone watching football into the early morning hours.). If we won, I figured it was worthy of waking my husband and whispering the results. If we lost, I’d get started looking at our line-up for the following week.
Because I was extremely pregnant when the whole fantasy football thing kicked off, I wasn’t sure how into it I would be. However, my due date was on a Monday and as the season continued, I was very upset that I would be in the hospital for Monday night football due to my scheduled induction. During the worst of the contractions, the football game was on. As the contractions became really painful I had my husband turn down the volume so that I could concentrate; but I didn’t want him to turn the TV off entirely. I had to see how bad the damage was going to be from our opponent’s star running back, Larry Johnson. I think the nurses and my midwife were a little shocked by my insistence that the game stay ON. I think my husband was grateful for the distraction from my moaning in agony during the contractions.
I thought that after the baby was born, I wouldn’t have time to adjust my roster each week. But there I was, nursing an infant and yelling upstairs to my husband, inquiring as to who we should "play" each week.
When playoffs rolled around, our formerly stellar players were sitting the bench or producing next to nothing. I was very disappointed and that is putting it nicely. We ended up losing in the first round (Thanks a lot Larry Johnson) and then losing the second round as well. We went from being the top scorer to last place in the standings. I was a little bit upset and spiraled into a fantasy football induced depression, or something like that.
This year my cousin told me she’s too busy to run the league. So, we called ESPN, where we run our league, and had them give me "the power." My cousin and I were both on the phone and the guy was helping us set things up. He was drafting his team while talking to us and when he asked us to hold for a minute, my cousin called him on it. "You’re putting us on hold to do your draft pick, aren’t you?" He tried to deny it, but then laughed and admitted to it. Then we started hounding him about his draft choices, and my cousin and I started talking trash amongst ourselves while he was setting things up. The customer service guy stopped in his tracks after listening to our little exchange and said, "Are you girls married?". "Yeah," we responded back. "Your husbands are some lucky guys," he said. I would have to agree with that completely.
After being given "the powers," I have now gone from last place to League Commissioner. That means I get to set the draft order (rubs hands together and evil laugh ensues), set the rules (evil laugh gets louder), and have veto power (throws head back in evil laugh crescendo).
But my fellow team owners shouldn’t be worried. I’ll be fair. . . sure I will.
Oh, and if you happen to be reading this and you are one of the teams
in my league. . . you didn’t see that last paragraph. You will forget
that there ever was a last paragraph. You do not know what evil laughs
are, and know that your league commissioner is a fair and decent
person. One thing you do know though. . . you’re goin’ DOWN!
If you have any fantasy football draft advice you’d like to pass along, please, help a girl out. . .
Go Find Yourself
Don’t you just love when you find other people who think like you do? Although I haven’t read through all her archives as of yet because there are a great many, I’ve found some striking similarities between me and my new renter.
First, I found myself saying "Yes! YES!" as I was reading her rant about Victoria’s Secret and their policy about no nursing in the dressing rooms. There are a lot of ignorant people out there and my new renter, "Finding Yourself Despite Yourself" has no problem letting them know they’re being ignorant. I like that in renters; she’ll keep me on my toes.
Second, she has two little girls who are so adorable, and she allows them to eat food in the bathtub. Genius, as far as I’m concerned. Big I ate quite a few nectarines from the comfort of the kitchen sink back in the day, and I’m sure Lil C will do some fruit-eating in the sink or tub as well.
When I checked out her site I found funny posts including the one which lists things she’s found out about morning sickness, such as "A burp is never just a burp when you are 8 weeks pregnant". I also found posts that made me want to cry, like the one about her loss of a pregnancy. I also found EXCITEMENT about the pregnancy that is still new but becoming a part of the daily routine (morning sickness and all.)
If you’re interested in finding out more, go and give my renter a little love.
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