Shred THIS
You know how they have those MasterCard "priceless" commercials? Here is mine:
Haircut for daughter so she can look groomed for her Easter pictures . . . $13.00
White sandals to go with Easter outfit. . . $49.00 (Shut-up, I know. Her feet have "champagne taste" and nothing fits her right except for expensive shoes.)
Picture session with both a 5-year old and a 6-month old smiling at the same time while looking at the same camera, which requires extensive acrobatics by both parents and a Mom-Mom. . . $122.00
Coming home to have a cold beer. . . priceless.
Before you call Child Services. . . she only grabbed the bottle. She did not imbibe.
If you have ever been to The Picture People, you know what I’m talking about. I have a love/hate relationship with them. I LOVE that I can see the pictures and get them in an hour. I love that they have a plain white background without all the cheesy fake looking window like props like some places.
But, there are some things that absolutely drive me insane. First of all, what is up with the hard slippery floors? Each studio I have been to has hard pergo or something like it floors. This does not make for a friendly environment for babies who are not very steady. Why can’t they put a couple squares of that foam padding down or something? I realize it’s easier to clean up at the end of the night with hard floors, but don’t they realize that their clients’ kids have fragile noggins? Would it kill them to have a couple foam squares in the joint?
My husband and I are forever traumatized by what happened to Big I when she was a baby. We were getting her Christmas pictures taken and she was about 9 months old. They brought out this adorable little upholstered chair and scooted a Christmas tree up beside it. What a great setting for a picture right? Yeah, except for the fact that Big I, while sitting in the chair, got so excited about the feather duster coming at her that she bounced and threw her body forward so quickly and so awkwardly that she fell smack onto her face on the hard floor. The image of it still makes me physically sick. I practically knocked over the camera to get to her. (My husband was kneeling right near her but couldn’t grab her in time to break her fall.) She didn’t even cry right away which was terrifying, and then. . . the crying. Oh MY GOD, the crying. It erupted along with a red face and I immediately told them we were done as I stomped into the mall with my traumatized child. I took her to the car and nursed her while she sobbed that terrible sob that everyone has done at least once in their life, but usually only after being dumped by some stupid junior high boyfriend. My husband and I took turns, once she had calmed down, pushing on her delicate little facial bones and making her say things to make sure she was o.k. When all was said and done, she was smiling and perfectly fine other than a small bruise on her cheek. But, it was terrifying. The picture of the event was snapped on the upward bounce before the downward descent to meet the hard floor. It’s a great picture, but whenever my husband and I see it, it brings on a bit of nausea. Those damn hard floors!
So tonight when they wanted to sit Lil C on the hard floor by herself. . . NO, so not happening. I think our photographer was a bit taken aback by the sheer gusto of the NO that met her suggestion simultaneously by both my husband and me. So, instead they sat her in a beanbag chair that she quickly became adept at catapulting herself out of and into our waiting arms because my husband and I. . . We’re not going through that ever again. Why can’t they have more baby friendly props and settings? It really REALLY irritates me.
Secondly, anyone who has ever been to the Picture People knows it is not cheap. My husband always rolls his eyes and becomes sort of twitchy on Picture People days because he knows that the budget for the month is about to be completely blown to hell. And, he’s usually right. Why? Because, you tell me what mother on the face of this earth can look at a picture of her child and say, "No, I don’t want that one. You take it and put it into the shredder and then the Dumpster and then the land fill." It’s always physically painful for me to choose which pictures I want because even a bad picture usually has something cute or funny about it. Why can’t they do something like my wedding photographer did? Once you spend x amount on pictures, the proofs that they print out are yours to keep? Would that be so hard? Would it be so awful? Wouldn’t it endear customers to them more and help them make more money? They’d spend less on shredders; that’s for sure!
Once I took my daughter to The Picture People at a different mall and I had this wonderful check out girl who printed all the pictures I wanted, and then (when no one was looking) slipped all the other ones I didn’t want into the folder with a brief glance at me as if to say, "Don’t question it. Just go with it. It’s all cool, lady." I loved that woman. I seriously wanted to hug her but I knew that would definitely give her away. I nodded a cool nod at her and then went out to the mall seating to admire my gift. It was so nice that I went back to that mall that is an hour away from my house again, but she wasn’t there. They probably found out about her and sent her through the shredder too, like all the adorable pictures that meet the same fate each day and night.
I wrote The Picture People’s corporate office and told them about my issues after Big I had her close encounter with their floor; but I never got a response back. I’m sure that my letter probably had an encounter with the shredder as well.
Progress
Today was a good day. I was officially promoted to 5th kyu green belt. It felt good. This particular instructor believes in all the pomp and circumstance so the promotion ceremony made it feel even better. The thing that made it feel the best? We were doing kata tonight; and I did my kata perfectly. My instructor said, "I didn’t see anything wrong with that," and nodded his head approvingly. Affirmation; it’s about time. For the first time ever, tonight I was the high rank in class. It’s something I’m definitely not familiar with, but I could get used to it.
Now I need to work on what I need to know for 4th kyu green belt. . .
- ten step blocking drill moving in Nai Hanchi with rear foot shift and punch (I know this.)
- fore knuckle strike (I’ve got this down too.)
- roundhouse kick (Lord help me.)
- breakfalls-front, back, side & roll fall (this sounds exactly like what it is and let me be the first to admit, I will HURT and badly.)
- chokes (I need to review, but I know the basics.)
- Waza 6 (I started to learn tonight, and it’s not too terribly bad.)
- Kata Ananku (No anan-clue.)
- Weapon-Odo No Tunfa Ichi (I know how to use them; but learning all the intricacies of this kata will not be easy.)
I will hopefully be testing for 4th kyu in six months. I have a lot of work to do, but I am now half way to black belt. Tonight, my instructor took some time out to show me some extra details I need to start adding to my punches (hip rotation, and tension at the end of the punches). It is sort of like learning karate all over again. You learn the basic moves, and then when you get to a certain point, I guess you learn how to do it right.
Big I also had a good day at karate. I wasn’t sure it was possible after all the stress of our day which included: a haircut by someone with pink highlights which was quite traumatic for her, and shoe shopping for sandals (which is always traumatic for Mommy). I was sure that getting ready for karate and the class itself would be a nightmare. It was quite the opposite. Big I got ready without an argument and she did so well in class tonight. I was so proud of her! She seemed to really try and even got "tricked" into doing her waza by herself.
Our instructor said he was going to do waza one with her. He did a few times and then he would get into position, but not continue with the moves. Big I did. I know she knows it, and tonight she finally started to show it. We also had some progress on the communications front. Big I, who up until tonight has only done the sideways head tilt when addressed by anyone other than me, actually nodded "yes" and "no" to our instructor. I feel like we had a breakthrough. I absolutely LOVE days like this.
Maybe I’m starting to get my karate "mojo" back. Of course, I am fully aware that when I’m learning my new kata next week I’ll be promptly catapulted back to reality. But until then. . . I’m going to enjoy my new rank and my new found confidence.
Half year
I can not believe that my baby is already six months old. Last year at this time, I was just finding out that the baby did indeed have a heartbeat, after a nerve-wracking appointment where a heartbeat could not be found. It turns out, the dates were off, so that explained it. But it was completely stressful until the ultrasound confimed that a healthy baby was definitely on her way. Two years ago, I was finding out once again that I was not pregnant and was trying to put myself back together again and be hopeful for the next month. I am so happy that I have been blessed with this beautiful, healthy, and happy child.
But enough mush. . . if Lil C could talk, what would she say today?
Hello everyone,
I am six months old today. It has been a great six months. Mommy says I’m a great baby, because I rarely cry and I’m a champion sleeper. I am such a mama’s girl though, and when Mommy isn’t around, I am not a happy camper lately. (Daddy had to resort to putting me in my car seat tonight when Mommy was away, which equals instant sleep.) I love watching my big sister do just about anything. She cracks me up when she jumps and dances. I light up when I see her each morning. Sometimes she picks on me by putting a bunch of toys on my back or something, but I know she loves me. I am also in love with our cats. Today, one of them came close enough for me to reach out and grab him. That was exciting! I am starting to really talk lately too. I am not a quiet baby! I’m saying something that sounds awfully close to "mama," and Daddy is working hard on getting me to say, "dada." If his name was "ga ga" we’d be set! I love rolling across the room to see what my big sister is up to; and I’m also getting really good at spinning around on my belly and crawling like an inch worm. Mommy says I’m going to be great at karate, because I have the quadruple threat. When she leans over to get my belly, I grab two fistfuls of hair and at the same time pull my feet up to deliver a big kick. Mommy says I’ll soon have enough of her hair to make a wig. Tomorrow Mommy is going to try to feed me cereal. (I think I’d rather have spaghetti though.)
Love,
Lil C
I can only hope that these next six months don’t go as fast as the first six have. . .
Things I learned while on our roadtrip/family visit this weekend
Filed under: Lessons I've Learned
1. When playing Mexican Train Dominos, do not under any circumstances, line up your dominos close enough that if you bump one, they will all fall down. This is not the object of the game. You will lose that game.
2. McDonald’s will cause belly aches, not only in children, but in adults as well. (I won’t go into any more details.)
3. When choosing ice cream at a Turnpike restaurant, do NOT choose the fat free, sugar free Butter Pecan. You will be sorely disappointed, and will strongly consider running off with your 5-year olds chocolate.
4. Babies do not like to be in the car for five + hours.
5. Because it bears repeating, Babies do NOT like to be in the car for five + hours.
6. A backwards facing car seat behind the passenger seat will under no circumstances, provide for a reclined sleeping area.
7. Because of #7, you will fall asleep with a gaping mouth and a nodding head and be laughed at by cars passing you.
8. You also might drool.
9. Opening juice boxes in the car is a bad idea.
10. If you ignore the warning and choose to open up a juice box in the car, make sure that you are wearing the same color clothing as the liquid in the juice box.
11. Nursing a baby along the side of a major highway while having a full bladder is not smart.
12. On a five hour road trip, your husband is bound to ruin a song you like for life. (As in, Shakira’s "Hips don’t lie," your husband will start singing the chorus and using the words, "So be kind, rewind," instead of "So be wise and keep on" and you will forever associate Blockbuster with a song that you used to like.
And to think, our summer get-away is 7 + hours away. . .
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