April 19, 2006

Teach your children well

I was on vacation last year when the whole Natalee Holloway story broke.  I was glued to the TV first thing in the morning and each night hoping they would find her alive, praying that even if she wasn’t alive anymore they would find her so her parents could have some peace.  Almost a year later, I’m still waiting like everyone else and hoping that the recent developments bring about some closure. 

Stories like Natalee’s haunt and terrify me.  Having two daughters makes it even worse.  In one respect I can see myself in Natalee’s shoes.  One stupid night of a bit too much alcohol, paired with a bad decision or two and your life as you have known it, is forever altered or over.  What average young woman these days hasn’t been in the situation of going a bit overboard?  For most young women, the overboard night ends with nothing more than a headache.  Natalee wasn’t so lucky.

In another respect, I can put myself in her mother’s shoes (and I think this is what bothers me the most.)  How horrible it must be to lose your daughter, and how much worse is it to not even know why or how?  I think the most awful part about it is that Natalee went missing so far from home.  How could her parents possibly keep up the endless string of nights in a foreign land, in a foreign hotel?  But then again, how could they go home?  Can you imagine what that must have felt like, leaving without their daughter?

I know my girls are young, but stories like this are a big part of the reason why all female family members living under my roof will take karate.  I want to raise my girls to be strong physically and mentally.  Karate is perfect for that. I want them to have confidence in themselves to the point that they tend to avoid potentially dangerous situations.  I want them to ooze confidence so that any ill-intentioned persons don’t even give them a glance.  I want them to know that if they get in a dangerous situation, they can get out and how to go about doing so.  The problem is that you can know all the karate in the world, but if you are incapacitated due to alcohol, what are the chances you’ll be able to use it?  This is a huge problem and I wonder when I’ll need to start talking to my girls about alcohol and whether or not they’ll listen.  Right now, my 5 year old won’t even drink soda.  I think I have some time; but considering how these past 5 years flew, it will be here before I know it.

I think one of the most important things for young girls is to have a good group of friends.  When I was in college, shortly after I turned 21, I was out at a club with a group of friends.  I had two drinks the entire night, certainly not enough to put me under the table; but all of a sudden I started feeling very strange.  The next thing I remember is looking up at a group of faces I didn’t know.  Thank God my friend came back quickly from the bathroom, and my boyfriend (now husband) noticed from across the room where he was getting a drink.  They helped me to my feet and literally had to carry me out of the bar and home.  It wasn’t your normal drunk; and having had only two drinks, I knew and they knew I had to have been drugged.  I felt funny for a few days following that awful night and thank my lucky stars that I had two great people to help me home.  Assessing the situation the next day with my friends, we remembered how I was watching a band and had my drink sitting behind me at a table.  There were some shady guys on the other side of the table who followed us to the next bar later in the evening. It was a bad idea, putting my drink down; and I haven’t let a drink out of my sight since then. 

Situations like this though, go to show that no matter how careful you are, one stupid mistake could end up meaning a world of trouble.  Unfortunately, I think that’s what happened with Natalee.  No one her age ever thinks anything bad will ever happen to them.  Young girls tend to trust people easily and it’s very scary for a mother of two young girls. 

Besides locking my girls in our house until they’re 30 or so, I really don’t know what else I can do besides giving them the tools they need and hoping and praying for the best.  I also found this site which includes a questionnaire you can use to talk with your children.  My 5-year old and I have been through it a couple times already, and we’ll go through it many more times for sure.

I guess all I can hope for is that I help to put a good head on their little shoulders.  I guess that’s all any parent can hope for.  But as a back up, I think I’ll display my karate weapons prominently on my walls when dating age is getting near, and possibly require a lengthy pre-date "interview" with any potential suitor.  That should help spread the word that my girls (and their wicked karate mama) are not to be messed with.

  • Print
  • email
  • RSS
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Technorati
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn

No related posts.

Posted by on April 19, 2006 in Mental Strain for Mama | 7 Comments

Comments